by Jan
Good morning! This is my J&B adaptation of Sandra Brown’s novel, “Above and Beyond.” Please rest assured that the plot has a ways to go yet and all secrets are nowhere near being revealed. Your feedback is always most appreciated, and I hope you enjoy it! -----------Jan
COMING OUT OF THE DARK
Chapter 8
Jax looked at Mac with steely-blue eyes. “OK, Scorpio. It’s your call. What do you say?”
“What is that, 7 to me?” Mac asked in a low voice. Jax nodded with a grim face. Mac took a deep breath, and Felicia put her hand on his arm. “Oh, honey, I don’t know about this. After all, we do have the mortgage payment to make this month!”
Mac looked into her eyes lovingly. “I know, honey, but you have to have faith in me.” He looked back at Jax cunningly. “I’ll see your 7 Raisonettes, Jax, and I’ll raise you 2 M&M’s!” Mac looked back at Felicia with a glint in his eyes and whispered loud enough for all to hear, “Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got a whole package of Jujubees in my back pocket.”
Felicia batted her eyes like some melodrama queen. “My hero,” she gushed.
Jax let out a long whistle. He winked at Brenda. “There’s a confident man, Bren, but he hasn’t played poker with a Jacks before.” He laid out his cards on the table. “Three pretty ladies, Mr. Scorpio. Read ‘em and weep.” He was about to gather in the pile of candy in the center of the table when Mac laid his hand over Jax’s.
“Not so fast, there, mate. I happen to have four eights.” He smiled and laid his cards down for Jax to see.
Jax began to giggle. “You need glasses, Mac. I see one 8, two 10’s, and a 4.”
Mac laughed a dirty laugh. “Ah-ha! But remember the game that Felicia named when we started this round! I still have four of a kind!”
Jax looked at Brenda in shock, and she dissolved. He began to mutter to himself as Mac pulled the candy to his side of the table. “Whoever heard of a poker game named after a soda pop?”
Felicia rose from the table. “But Jax, everyone in the old neighborhood knows how to play Dr. Pepper! 10’s, 2’s, and 4’s are wild cards!”
Jax leaned back in the chair. “Well, my personal preference will always be….” He looked at them all expectantly. “Can you guess? One-eyed Jacks!!!”
Mac, Felicia and Brenda all groaned in pain as Jax dissolved in laughter at his own joke. Felicia put her finger to her lips, trying to keep the group from making too much noise and waking the sleeping children.
Brenda rose from the table, still giggling, and went to the couch to check on Anthony. He and Georgie were both sacked out on the couch, with Maxie curled up in a chair a few feet from that. Brenda smiled as she watched all the quiet angels. She stroked Anthony’s soft baby hair back from his forehead, and then walked back to the table. “We’re safe. The giants are still sleeping.”
Felicia took their coffee cups and dessert plates back to the kitchen, as Jax and Mac got up to stretch. Brenda followed Felicia. “I think I need to get Anthony one of those wading pools. He really had a good time tonight.”
Jax came up behind her, putting his arms around her waist. “And we all know how much the little tiger loves the water, don’t we?” he laughed. The story of how Jax rescued Anthony from the mall fountain had been the topic of dinner conversation, and Felicia nodded in agreement as Mac brought in more dishes. Brenda, meanwhile, began to feel a tingle from Jax’s continued embrace.
“Well…” she said slowly, “I really think that we need to be going, though.” She looked back up at Jax. “My parents will be getting home soon from canasta, and they’ll be worried that I’m not home yet. I only told them we would be out for dinner.”
Jax recognized the not-so-subtle hint, and he went to the couch. “Why don’t you get your purse and the rest of your things? I’ll try to lift up the tiger without waking him.” After Felicia had assured Brenda that she didn’t need any more help cleaning up the dishes, and Brenda had gathered up all of Anthony’s things, she nodded to Jax.
He slowly and carefully slipped his arms beneath Anthony, and the toddler immediately roused from sleep. He opened his eyes wide to look into Jax’s blue ones, but then as they all held their breath, the baby’s eyelids drooped shut again. Jax lifted him into his arms, and Mac gave him a thumbs up. “I think we may just let ours sleep it off here in the living room,” he whispered.
Jax and Brenda made their way out the front door, with Jax still carrying a sleeping Anthony. “Should I try to put him in the carseat?” Jax asked Brenda quietly.
“I don’t think a nuclear bomb could wake him,” she giggled, and Jax nodded. He carefully placed the sleeping treasure in his carseat, and Brenda climbed in to buckle the seatbelt. As she maneuvered past Jax in the crowded backseat, her body brushed up against his arm and she felts sparks fly. She looked into his eyes for an instant, but then set to work buckling Anthony in.
They drove back to the Cerullo house in relative silence. Although both of them realized that it would take a lot more than the human voice to rouse Anthony, the tension was mounting. When they pulled up in front of the house, it was still dark. “Looks like the canasta game went later than expected,” Jax whispered solemnly. He jumped out of the van and went around to the passenger door to get Anthony.
“That’s OK, I can take it from here,” Brenda whispered as she reached for her sleeping son. But Jax pushed past her. He unbuckled the seatbelt and once again lifted Anthony into his arms.
“He’s a heavy guy when he’s awake. You’d probably wrench every muscle in your arms trying to carry him upstairs when he’s asleep,” Jax whispered. Brenda realized she was fighting a losing battle, so she closed the passenger door behind him and reached inside her purse for her keys. “Besides,” Jax continued when they reached the front door, “there’s no way I would let the two of you go into a dark, empty house alone. Let me make sure everything’s safe.”
Brenda relaxed a little. {At least it wasn’t some tired pick-up line, like “Won’t you invite me in to see your etchings?” Maybe he really does just want to make sure we’re safe. Maybe he doesn’t have an ulterior motive.} She unlocked the door, and looked back over her shoulder at him. Jax was watching Brenda in the dim porchlight, with the light beams dancing off of her dark hair. If he hadn’t had the baby in his arms, she would have been. She saw that intent in his eyes, and it made her light-headed. {Yeah, right. No ulterior motives. And I’ve got some fine swamp land in Colorado for you to buy.}
Jax followed her upstairs to Anthony’s room and placed him in his crib. He was about to lean down and kiss him on the forehead, but then he feared that Brenda might think it was too presumptuous of him, so he settled for caressing the baby’s soft arm and tiny fingers. “Good night, tiger,” he said softly, and then turned to leave the room. He walked over to where Brenda stood in the doorway. “I’ll be downstairs,” he whispered to her, and stroked one finger down her cheek.
Brenda watched him go down the stairs and took a shaky breath. She quickly changed Anthony’s diaper, and he still was in dreamland when she finally turned on his nightlight and partially closed the door to his nursery.
She walked down the stairs to find Jax in the semi-darkened living room, looking out the patio doors that led from the dining room to the back yard. She walked over to him, not sure exactly how to get through this awkward moment. He just kept staring out into the yard.
“You know,” he said quietly, “there’s just something about an old house that gives it character. The old oak tree in the back yard, the fireplace that’s seen so many fires on cold winter evenings.” He turned to look at her. “Even the squeaky step on the staircase.”
Brenda chuckled softly. “Several squeak, in fact. I’m just experienced at avoiding them.” She looked around the room. “But this house is really too big for Mom and Pops to still be in. Carmine had some chest pains a couple of years ago, and his doctor told him he just couldn’t keep up with all the yard work anymore. They always wanted to move into a condo, where Pops wouldn’t have to worry about painting or cutting the lawn.”
“So why didn’t they?”
“I got pregnant with Anthony, and then Louie was killed. I got pregnant right before Louie found out about the assignment to Dhofar, and so they insisted I move in with them while I was pregnant. Then, after Louie was killed, they didn’t want me and Anthony to be alone. So they insisted that we stay.”
“But you seem like an independent woman. You have a successful record business, and a steady income,” Jax said, sitting down on the couch. “I’m sure you wouldn’t have any financial difficulties being on your own.”
Brenda sat down next to him, seeing as the conversation seemed fairly harmless. “True, but this neighborhood is changing. Property values have been declining, and at this point, I’m not sure that Mom and Pops would get enough money if they sold this house to afford the condo. Unless the area is re-zoned, which is highly unlikely, they’re just stuck here.” Brenda folded and un-folded her hands in her lap. “And it’s all because of me.”
Jax tipped her face up to him. “You’re nobody’s burden, Brenda. You’re a beautiful, independent woman. You deserve to live, Brenda.” He lowered his lips to hers. “You deserve to feel.” His fingertips were still on her chin, and he could feel her trembling. “Don’t shut me out, love. Let me help you feel again.” He lowered his mouth to hers, and she was lost.
{D*mn, the man can kiss!} He moved his mouth slowly and deliberately across her lips, rubbing them with a sensual grace, and teasing them occasionally with the tip of his tongue. He could feel her breathing quicken, and she made a soft purring sound deep in her throat. As he felt her hands lift to his shoulders, he pulled her closer to him and let his hands play between the straps on her bare back.
Brenda was lost in a storm of feeling. She tried to pull away once. “No, Jax, don’t,” she said weakly, but before she could take another shaky breath, he was kissing her again. She put her hands on his shoulders to push him away. “Jax, I can’t do this.” But his arms were still around her, and he kept kissing her temples and trailing his lips softly into her hairline.
“Why not, Brenda? What are you afraid of?”
She tried to sound calm, but her heart was racing. “I’m not afraid of anything.”
He cupped her face in his hands and looked deeply into her soft doe-eyes. “Then kiss me, Brenda. Kiss me like I know you want to.” And with that, he began to kiss her again.
She thought he was crazy. {Why is the man saying I want to kiss him? I’m not kissing him!} But then she realized that her hands, once on his shoulders, had found their way into the hair at the nape of his neck, and were pulling him even closer. Her tongue, which she thought was being seduced by his, was finding its way into his mouth to do some seduction of its own. And as he gently laid her back onto the couch, she was shocked to realize that she was pulling him down with her as much as he was pushing.
Jax had thought there could be nothing more sensual than kissing Brenda. However, once he lowered her to the couch and felt his body against hers, he knew that this was even more erotic. Once her head hit the couch pillow, he could increase the pressure and depth of the kiss, his tongue darting in and out of her mouth until she was moaning in delight. His hands trailed down past her bare shoulders, and his slipped his right hand inside the top of her dress, finding soft tender flesh. He pulled out of the kiss to follow his fingers with his lips. “Brenda, your skin tastes like heaven,” he whispered raggedly, as he threatened to pull the strap down.
Brenda was drowning in her own sea of wanting. But when she felt him pulling at the straps, she knew she had to stop this. Not only because they were moving rapidly towards something she wasn’t sure she was ready for, but because Gloria and Carmine would be returning any minute and she didn’t want them to find them making love on their living room couch. “Jax,” she managed to whisper, “we’ve got to stop!”
He pulled back just enough to look into her beautiful eyes, which were clouded with the same passion as his. “Why? I want you so much, Brenda, and I know you want me, too.”
“Jax, it’s not a matter of wanting…”
He pulled her back up to a sitting position with him on the couch. “It’s not just the sex, Brenda.” He leaned in and kissed her once more, stealing the breath from her body. “Although I want to make love to you more now than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.” She looked at him in puzzlement. He took her face between his hands so that she could not escape his eyes. “I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, Brenda, but I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Brenda felt like someone had kicked her in the teeth. “Excuse me?”
“I’ve fallen in love with you, Brenda. I don’t know…” But just as Jax was about to continue, the sound of a car door slamming outside made them both jump.
“That’s Gloria and Carmine,” Brenda whispered, and Jax nodded in understanding. He had pushed again tonight, and he realized that she wasn’t ready just yet for the Cerullo’s to see how involved they were. He moved away from her a little on the couch, and she went to turn on lights in the living room.
When the Cerullo’s finally did enter the living room, it looked Jax and Brenda had been having a perfectly innocent conversation. But Gloria took one look at Brenda’s still-flushed face and Jax’s guilty face, and she inwardly cursed herself for allowing Carmine to bully her into coming home this early. Gloria pulled Carmine away from the lecture he was giving Jax on the finer points of canasta so that they could be alone, but Brenda told them Jax was just leaving anyway.
After hurrying Jax out the door with a passionless kiss on the cheek, Brenda leaned against it and let out a long sigh. {Well, that settles it. I can’t see the man again. This is going too far. I’ll just break it off right now.}
“Brenda, are you being deliberately rude, or is it that permanent PMS thing acting up again?” Lois sat at her desk in the office they shared at L&B the following Wednesday.
Brenda looked up from her stack of papers. “Do you have a point, Lois? Because I really am swamped with paperwork this morning.”
Lois stood up and walked to the front of her desk to perch on it. “Yeah, like you’ve been swamped with other stuff every day since you and Jax went out last Friday night.”
“We didn’t go OUT, Lois. We just went to the Scorpio’s for a barbeque. It wasn’t a date.”
“OK, so it wasn’t a date. WHATEVER it was, what has kept you so busy that you haven’t been able to give the man the time of day since then?”
Brenda looked at her with venom in her eyes. “You’ve been talking to your mother, haven’t you?”
Lois stared down at her fingernails for a moment. “So since when is that a crime?” She looked back into Brenda’s troubled eyes. “Besides, honey, even if I didn’t find out from her that you turned down Jax’s offer to take you and Anthony to the zoo Sunday, it’s pretty hard to ignore the fact that Carly has buzzed you at least five times every day this week with calls from Jax and you won’t accept them. What’s the deal? I thought you two had really hit it off.”
“Well, that’s what it is, Lois – off. I don’t intend to see Mr. Jacks again. End of story.” Brenda closed the file she had been working on and slammed it on her desk.
Lois tapped her long fingernails against the side of the desk, knowing full well that it drove Brenda to distraction. “Nope. I don’t believe for a second that that’s the end of the story.” She walked around behind Brenda’s chair. “You wanna know what I think the story REALLY is?”
“No, but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me,” Brenda said through gritted teeth.
Lois came to stand right in front of Brenda’s desk, looking her friend in the eye. “You’re darn right I am. I think the guy’s gettin to ‘ya.” Brenda took a sharp breath, but Lois went on. “If he was just some shmuck off the street that didn’t matter, you would laugh about it and not be so touch about discussin it.” She leaned in even closer. “But I think that maybe last Friday night, Jax may have put the moves on ‘ya, and it scares you to death.” Lois straightened up and saw Brenda’s blush. “See, I told you. And I’m bettin that it wasn’t just some good night kiss that got your knickers in such a twist. I’m bettin it was some serious nooky that Mom and Pops almost walked in on.” She watched as the blush spread down to Brenda’s fingertips. “And it’s got ‘ya runnin scared.”
“I am NOT scared!” Brenda spat as she stood to face Lois, but at that moment, the buzzer on her desk sounded. “What???” she shouted into the intercom, and then regretted the fact that she probably blew out Carly’s eardrums.
Carly cleared her throat once. “Ummm.. Mr. Jacks is up front to see you, Brenda.”
Brenda looked up at Lois, who was smiling. “Well, then, Bren, if you’re not scared, ‘ya won’t have any problem going up to see him, will ‘ya?”
Brenda took a shaky breath. “Not as long as all the little ears in the walls around here give us some privacy,” she hissed.
Lois waved her hand in the air. “Done. Just tell Carly I need her help back in the studio.” She waltzed out of Brenda’s office, and Brenda took a deep breath before walking up towards the lobby.
Jax was waiting in the lobby for her, staring out the front window. Carly was staring at him, still almost drooling on the desk. “Carly, Lois needs you in the studio,” Brenda said to her, and she could see the disappointment written on the young woman’s face. She looked at Jax. It was impossible to tell just from his expression why he was there. Maybe he wanted to ask her advice on which local big shot to approach on a business deal. But when she took one good look into his eyes, she knew the reason he had come.
He didn’t mince words. “Why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not avoiding you. I’ve just been busy,” she replied, sitting down at Carly’s desk, fiddling with a pencil.
He pulled a chair up to sit across the desk from her. “I’m no fool, Brenda. NOBODY could be that busy. Was it because of what I said last Friday night?”
“You’re very perceptive, Mr. Jacks.”
Jax lowered his head, and then looked into her eyes again. “So it’s that bad. We’re back to Mr. Jacks. All because of one word.
“It’s a very important word, Mr. Jacks. A word I don’t throw around lightly. A word that’s impossible to say after only seeing a person four times.”
He smiled beguilingly. “You’ve kept count!”
She rose from the desk. “Only because it proves how ridiculous what you said was. Nobody falls in love after only four dates.”
Jax walked around the desk to her. “Well, I did. It just happens that way sometimes, Brenda. Didn’t you ever hear of love at first sight?” He moved to within inches of her, to trail a finger down her arm. “And besides, they weren’t dates, remember?”
She turned to face him. “Don’t make fun of me.”
He put his hands on her shoulders to pull her closer. “Are you afraid of me, Brenda?” She couldn’t look into his eyes, so he tipped her face up to his. “Are you afraid of what you’re feeling?”
She began breathing hard, but told herself it was just a hot flash. “I’m not feeling anything.”
He pulled her even closer, and leaned down to place his lips against her ear. He trailed them down her neck to where her chiffon blouse stopped him. He reached one hand up and gently pushed it aside, to reveal her soft shoulder to his lips. Her head had tipped to the side, and she had closed her eyes against his sensual assault. “You’re not feeling anything when I do this?” he asked quietly.
Her breath was coming in quick pants, as though she had been running a long distance. “No.” She said it in a soft voice, but it was almost more of a question than a statement.
He lifted his head to look into her eyes, and his were twinkling. “No, huh? How about when I do this?” He lowered his lips to hers, and she had to grab his shoulders because her world began to spin. His kisses weren’t hard or punishing – they were masterful. He teased her lips with his, first kissing her ever so lightly, and then thoroughly and erotically, and then softly again, drawing a whimper from her throat. “Are you sure you’re not feeling anything?” he said in a ragged voice.
She saw his game, and finally pushed him away by the shoulders. She tried to take a deep breath to speak evenly. “Only that I haven’t been kissed in a long time, and that you’re a very good kisser.”
“But you kissed me back, Brenda. You wanted me the other night.” He pulled her back again, and trailed a single finger to the top button on her blouse. “You want me now.”
She managed to break free and turn away from him. “I may be physically attracted to you, Jax, but I don’t LOVE you. I love my husband.”
He ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “Your husband? But he’s dead.”
She turned back and put her hand to her breast. “Not to me, Jax. He’ll always be alive to me, in here. I’ll always love him.” She saw his look of disdain and she stepped away from him even further. “Don’t give me that look, Jax. I’ve never been anything but honest with you. I told you right from the start that I wasn’t interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with any man. I had a romance once, and it was perfect. There won’t ever be any man that can hold a candle to Louie, and to what we had together.” He looked crestfallen, and walked back around to the front door of the lobby.
“You can’t deny what you’re feeling, Brenda. You’ll change your mind,” he said purposefully. “I”LL change your mind.”
She stood behind Carly’s chair to put more distance between them. “No you won’t Jax. I don’t want to see you anymore. Please don’t call or come by. I’m sorry if I’ve broken your heart somehow, but you’ll just have to deal with it. Now please leave.”
She saw the hurt in his eyes turn to anger and determination. She was almost afraid of what he would do next, but he just gave her a long stare, and then pulled the door of the building open and went through, slamming it hard after him.
Brenda sank down into Carly’s chair. This is what she had wanted. She never felt anything for him, other than a possible physical attraction. She wanted to end it. So why did she feel so much like crying?
She sensed Lois’ presence in the lobby. “Don’t start,” Brenda said to her quietly.
Lois looked sadly at her friend. “There’s nothin for me to say, kiddo. You said it all to Jax, and quite clearly.” She turned on her heel and left Brenda to her thoughts. As she sat staring out the front window, a single tear rolled down her cheek.
----- St. Louis, Missouri ------
The couple sits on the floor of their family room, sifting through a mountain of old pictures.
“I never realized that we took this many pictures in just three years of marriage,” he said with a sigh.
She was looking quickly at some of the pictures, tossing them right and left into two piles. “Well, if you don’t want to have to move them all to the new house, it’s time to decide which to keep and which to pitch.” They continued working quietly until she stopped short at a picture. “Oh, honey, look. This is one from when you were overseas in the Air Force. You know – in Arabia.”
He leaned over to look at the picture. “Oh, yeah, I remember that.” His face takes on a somber cast. “That was taken just a week before I was transferred out. Two weeks before the bombing.”
The wife puts her arm around him. “Honey, I know it’s hard for you. But it was fate that saved your life with that transfer. You have to stop feeling guilty about it.” She tried to shift the mood. “Do you remember these guys’ names?” She squinted at the picture. “It looks like there’s a word printed above one of them.”
He looked at it. “Ah, yes. That’s Cassanova – or at least that’s what we called him. His name was Jasper Jacks, and he was a real ladies’ man – the original party animal. He came from some wealthy family in Alaska, but didn’t want to follow in the old man’s footsteps in the business.”
“And what about the other guy?”
“That’s Louie Cerullo. He was a real nice guy. Married, and had a kid on the way.” He looked at the picture quietly. “He didn’t make it.”
“Did Cassanova?”
“I’m not sure. I heard he was wounded real bad, and shipped out to a military hospital in Germany. I kind of lost track of him after that.”
The wife looked at the picture and then hugged her husband hard. “Well, why don’t we save the picture? Maybe the Cerullo guy’s widow might like to have it. After all, it looks like you all were having a good time.”
“Yeah, I think Cassanova had just told one of his famous dirty jokes.” He fingered the picture gently. “Yeah, maybe I can track down his widow and send it to her.” He tossed the picture into the stack of keepers.
To be continued….