by Darlene
Subj: The Click of a Mouse - Chapter 6
From: PepeTDevil
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The Click of a Mouse - Chapter 6
Several day’s after Brooke’s Carnival, Brenda coaxed Jax into going
over to Lois’ house under the pretense that Brooke wanted to see him
before he left for yet another business trip. The morning after the carnival
Jax got a call that took him out of town again, and Brenda knew that tomorrow
he would be off on yet another business trip and as soon as he returned from
that he was going to spend the night having dinner with his cousin, Andrew:
on his
birthday no less. Which brings me to the real reason why Brenda got Jax to
go to Lois’, a surprise birthday party in his honor. She knew that he
would be busy for most of his birthday. She also knew that he would stop
by and see her. She originally planned to have a big party waiting at her
cottage when he got back, but then she thought about it. As she thought more
and more about it she realized that a party was the last thing she wanted
on his
birthday. If she could only have him for a little while on his birthday,
she wanted him all to herself. So the idea of the surprise party was born.
While Jax was out of town, Brenda couldn’t get their prize winning kiss
out of her mind. She decided to stop sitting around waiting for Jax’s
calls and go see her god daughter. While she was there she explained Jax’s
odd behavior at the carnival to Lois and reluctantly admitted to Lois that
if she had even the tiniest doubt in her mind that she wanted to be with
Jax again, it disappeared the second they began that kiss, but she didn’t
think Jax
wanted her anymore and she honestly couldn’t blame him. She told Lois
what she was thinking about the party but also told her that she didn’t
want to share him. They thought for awhile then decided that they would have
a surprise party for him at Lois’.
They spent the next few days leading up to the party arranging everything.
Brenda wanted the party to be perfect so everything had to Jax’s favorite.
Brooke was the most excited about the party. Lois and Brenda let her help
with everything.
Her biggest job was the seating arrangement at the dinner table. They found
pictures of everyone who would be attending the party and told Brooke that
her big job was to place the pictures on the chair where each person was
to sit. They reminded her that the only rule was one picture per chair. They
originally planned to pick up the pictures and replace them with name tags,
but when Brenda called that morning to make sure everything was
ready,
Brooke insisted that the pictures stay upside down on the chairs until every
one arrived. Lois had an idea that Brooke was up to something because she
had an adorable, almost evil, smile on her face while talking to Brenda on
the phone but Lois couldn’t think of what she could be up to. Brenda
awoke at dawn so she could stop by and make sure everything was perfect before
she went to pick up Jax.
Jax knew that Brenda was acting strange but he wasn’t sure why. He had
no idea what she was up to but he was beginning to worry that the kissing
contest was a huge mistake. He found himself thinking about and fantasizing
about Brenda even more then usual, he just couldn’t seem to get her
out of his mind. The truth was that the business trip he took the day after
the carnival really could have been taken care of by several faxes and phone
calls but
Jax wanted some time away to think. The trip didn’t help one bit. All
he could think about was Brenda. He began to worry that maybe Sheila was
right after her words replayed in his head for about the twentieth time.
He kept hearing her tell him that he was still in love with Brenda and
didn’t know it & he kept hearing Sheila ask him how he could not
know. He hoped his trips would clear his mind but all they did was confuse
him more.
He constantly thought about Brenda, and Sheila’s words about Brenda.
And more then anything he kept thinking about their prize winning kiss. He
enjoyed it, more then he wanted to, more then he should have since as far
as he knew, she still had a boyfriend, that computer guy she was dating.
Jax figured that the computer guy must had been the reason why she pulled
out of their kiss. Had it been up to him at that moment, he would had never
ended
that kiss, they would have continued that kiss until the carnival closed
down. But it wasn’t up to him. At times he thought he was eternally
grateful that Brenda pulled out, had she not he would have gone on kissing
her all night long and if it were up to him, he would have definitely gone
for the gold and made love to her, even if he had to do it with all those
people watching him. But then he got to thinking and doubting himself.
What if he did make love to her only to discover that he couldn’t regain
all his trust in her? That would ruin their friendship and after all wasn’t
that the most important thing to him, to keep Brenda in his life? What if
he was just feeling really strong desire, it had been so long since he made
love to a women, really made love. He knew he was attracted to Brenda, that
was something he could never deny, but what if he just wanted her because
he knew that she could satisfy his desires? He couldn’t chance that,
he had to be absolutely sure what was in his heart, and in Brenda’s
before he could even think about discussing having more then friendship with
Brenda. The truth was that as much as he loved her, he wasn’t sure that
he was still in love with her, after all hadn’t he spent over a year
convincing himself that he wasn’t in love with her anymore? How could
he still be in love with
her and not know?
More importantly how could he ever give his heart to her again and trust
that she wouldn’t break it in a gazillion pieces like she did before.
There was one thing he was sure of, what ever was going on with Brenda, there
was no way he would ever be able to get her out of his life, or mind. Had
he been able to see into his heart he would have also known that there was
no way that he would ever get her out of his heart either.
Anyway, Brenda told Lois to leave the lights on so that Jax wouldn’t
be suspicious when they walked up to the door way. Brenda grabbed Jax’s
hand and lead him to the door. Lois answered the door and brought them into
the backyard where Jax got a huge surprise! All his friends and family who
were in town were standing right there in Lois’ backyard, but there
was one person, besides the gorgeous angel still holding his hand that had
his attention,
so much so that he didn’t realize some of the people were there until
half way through the party when everyone gathered for the big dinner. That
person was the cute, adorable, charming little girl, Brooke.
Later when Jax was off on his business trip the thing he would remember about
that moment of surprise was his angel next to him, and Brooke, saying,
“Surprise, happy brigade Jax”, while running towards him so fast
that had she been bigger she could have tackled him. Jax picked up Brooke
and swung her around in circles and then carried her around for most of the
remainder of the party. For most of the party Jax had small talk with a lot
of people
more out of obligation then anything. No one except Brenda and Brooke got
more then five minutes of his time at one time. He loved his party but more
importantly he loved the fact that Brenda, his sweet angel Brenda, remembered
his birthday and went through all that trouble for him. He wondered if he
would ever feel as good as he did that night.
He had everyone he could want there, but all he really wanted was Brenda
and Brooke, though he had the distinct feeling that if he had a child of
his own, he wouldn’t feel such a need to have Brooke there. But he
couldn’t let himself think about that too much since he didn’t
know if he would ever be able to let himself close enough to a lady again,
to produce a child, yet he desired a child very much.
If Jax was totally honest with himself he would have admitted that part of
the reason that he loved having Brooke with him so much was that she
wouldn’t let Brenda stay away from them very long. Anytime Bren was
gone for more then five or ten minutes, Brooke would scream, “Mommy
god”, over and over again until Brenda returned. If Jax didn’t
think Brooke was so innocent he would have sworn that she was a matchmaker
disguised as an adorably sweet
little girl. When Lois realized they didn’t have ice cream, Brooke did
her pretend cry which only Lois recognized as not real, and kept repeating
that they couldn’t have cake with out ice cream. When Jax finally
volunteered to go pick some up, Brooke smiled and said, “I come wif
you, Jax.” Of course Jax agreed, but then Brooke went further with her
request, her words still stayed in Jax’s head even days after the party
ended, “Mommy god come wif
us.” Jax tried to tell Brooke that Brenda was needed at the party but
Brooke cried until he agreed to ask her, and of course she went. Then Brooke
repeated, “no drive, sit wif Brooke” until Jax and Brenda had the
person who Brooke called, “Bufler Regi” (Reginald) drive them to
Baskin Robin’s to get containers of ice cream. On the way to Baskin
Robin’s Brooke took each of their hands and held them for about a minute
before she connected their hands
and insisted that they stay like that because she felt safer with their hands
over her like a second seat belt. She made them give her the same “second
seat belt” on the way home.
When it came time for everyone to sit down for dinner, everyone searched
for their picture on a chair. Brooke stood and watched with Brenda and Jax
on either side of her. Once Everyone else was seated, Brenda and Jax went
to take what they assumed were their seats, one at the head of the table
and the other right next to that, and right next to Lois. As they went to
grab the pictures and sit down, Brooke stopped them.
B: “NO, that my seat.”
Brenda and Jax looked at each other in surprise, they had assumed that Brooke
would be sitting on one of the grown up’s laps as she always did. They
both turned the pictures over to discover that Brooke had somehow gotten
a picture of the two of them and put it on the chair at the head of the table,
and she placed her picture right between Lois and Jax and Brenda. Lois had
to laugh a bit when she saw what Brooke did (and discovered why she had
been so insistent on being in charge of the seating). Once Lois got her laugh,
she tried to explain to Brooke that Jax and Brenda needed their own chairs.
L: “Brooke honey, you can sit on Mommy’s lap okay?”
b: “No, sit by self.”
L: “But honey where is Jax and Brenda supposed to sit?”
b: “I put pictures like you n Mommy God say.”
L: “I also said only one person in each chair, you said you
understood.”
J: “Sweetie would you like to sit on my lap?”
b: “No, you sit wif Mommy God”
L: “Sweetheart they’re too big to share a chair.”
b: “Mommy God little, she no take lot room.”
L: “Sweetie if you want your own chair, I will go get you
one.”
b; “No,”
Brooke climbed up on the chair in the middle of her sentence.
b: “I sit here.”
L: “I’m sorry you two. I’ll go get another chair.”
Before Lois could leave Brooke broke out in a full fledged fit. She cried as hard and loud as she could, tricking Lois into believing that she really was crying. Her tears also simultaneously broke Jax and Brenda’s hearts.
B: “Sweetie what’s wrong?”
b: “You no like chair I give you.”
B: “Sweetie please don’t cry.”
b: “I try real hard, I no can do, I stu-ped!”
J: ”Brooke, I don’t ever want to hear you talk like that, you’re
the smartest little girl I know.”
B: “Sweetie if you were stupid you couldn’t of helped your Mommy
and me plan this party.”
Brenda didn’t know it but Jax lit up at the thought of Brenda planning a party for him with Brooke by her side.
J: “Did you help plan this party?”
Brooke carefully shook her head, making sure not to stop the tears from falling from her eyes.
B: “She had the final say in everything.”
J: “You must be a very smart girl to plan this party for me. You know
what? This is the best party I’ve ever been to and I bet that’s
because you made it extra special.”
b: “I no good, I mess up.”
B: “No sweetie, you didn’t mess up.”
b: “But you know sit where I put picture.”
In the end, the master manipulator got her way, Jax took Brenda off to the side to try and figure something out, when they returned, they both sat on the chair, doing their best to each stay on their half of the chair. Once they sat down, Brooke happily proclaimed, “I happy now, Mommy god n Jax get-tur.”
When it came time to open presents, Jax whizzed through them like there was
no tomorrow. There were tons of gifts, many from people who couldn’t
make it into town. A lot of the presents were expensive, and most of them
were basically useless to Jax, hardly anyone knew what to get him. There
were however three exceptions. Lois gave Jax a blue button up shirt with
a blue tie that she saw while shopping with Brenda. She asked Brenda to help
her buy
him a present he would love and that is exactly what Brenda did. Brenda gave
Jax a new planner and address book since his were running out, he loved them
and thought they were fantastic, what he didn’t know was that they
weren’t his whole present, the rest he would get on his actual birthday.
Had he looked in the planner at the time, he would had seen Brenda’s
birthday message for him on his birthday, the message he wouldn’t see
until his
birthday.
The third gift was the one he loved the most. The present came as a huge
surprise to Jax, and Brenda as well. It was from Brooke of all people. She
had her grandma Gloria take her to a dollar store where she used all the
money she had been saving to get a photo album, but the real present was
inside. Brooke took all the pictures from the carnival that had, her, Jax,
or Brenda in them, and put them inside the photo album, she even saved the
best
for last. The last three pages were felt with pictures of Jax and Brenda
on the stage, kissing! Jax and Brenda couldn’t help but smile at the
pictures, as Brooke pointed to herself and said, “I take pics of win
prize.”
Amazingly the pictures that Brooke took were the best one’s in the whole
lot of pictures. Once everyone else was gone, except Lois, Carmine, Gloria,
Brooke, Brenda , and Jax, Brooke made them look through the pictures again
and again. She laid curled up in Jax’s lap, with Brenda’s hand
on top of her. She stayed there until she finally fell asleep and Jax carried
her up to bed. Jax and Brenda both kissed her lightly on her forehead before
heading
out, carrying the photo album. During most of the car ride home, Brenda flipped
through the album.
B: “For such a little girl, she sure is good at taking
pictures.”
J: “That was very sweet of her to do that for me & it was very sweet
of you to have this party for me.”
B: “I had to find a way to celebrate your birthday, and since you’re
never around, I figured I might as well do it when I knew you would be in
town.”
Brenda never let on that she remembered his actual birthday and didn’t plan on letting it go by unnoticed.
J: “Thanks for not making a big deal about Brooke’s seating
arrangements, I hate seeing her sad.”
B: “So do I, though I get the feeling she was faking some of those
tears.”
J: “So did I but she’s such a pro at getting her way that I
didn’t figure it out until we were all ready sitting down and the tears
instantly went away.”
B: “Were you surprised?”
J: “Yes. Probably for the first time in my life. I expected to go there
and visit Brooke for a bit, I never expected to walk into a party.”
Brenda couldn’t hide her pleasure with herself.
B: “I did good then?”
J: “Yes, all three of you did good, remind me to thank Lois properly
the next time I see her.”
B: “What time do you have to go to the airport tomorrow?”
J: “Early, the trip takes several hours and I need to be there by ten
for a breakfast meeting.”
B: “Oh.”
J: “Is something wrong?”
The only thing wrong with Brenda was the fact that she didn’t want Jax to leave her that night, especially since it would be a few days before he would be back, and when that day did come, she would only get to see him for a short while after he had diner with his cousin. But Brenda couldn’t tell Jax any of that, she didn’t want o burden him so she thought quickly and remembered something that didn’t bother her but Jax might think it bothered her.
B: “Lately the cottage has been making these sounds at night.”
J: “Like what?”
B: “I don’t know how to describe them. Logically I know that it’s
probably just settling but when I’m laying there in the dark, I start
to wonder if maybe it’s more.”
Actually Brenda spent most of her time wondering about other things, mostly
if she had even a slight chance with Jax romantically. She also spent a lot
of time wondering why she pulled out of the kiss first. She could have kicked
herself for not holding on to that moment, even if it would have only been
a second or two longer.
Jax didn’t know what to say to Brenda. He wanted to stay at the cottage
with her and make her feel safer but he had to be at the airport by five
in the morning and he hadn’t even packed yet. He reluctantly decided
to ask her something he didn’t want to know, or at least he didn’t
want to know until he heard her answer.
J: “Have you had Anthony check out the noise?”
Brenda hadn’t thought of Anthony in days, she hadn’t even seen
him since the day she called him over to try and retrieve her e-mail. Even
if she had seen him over the past few days, there was no way he would ever
be at her house at night time. The only one’s who ever stayed there
were Jax, and occasionally Lois and Brooke when they were over late and Brooke
fell asleep. She couldn’t believe that Jax asked her that. She tried
to detect even a
hint of jealousy in Jax’s voice but she couldn’t. Jax did manage
to hide his jealousy but deep down inside he was insanely jealous. Brenda
tried to act perfectly normal while responding to Jax even though she was
extremely disappointed that he wasn’t at all jealous of Anthony.
B: “Oh no, I’m not seeing Anthony anymore.”
Inside Jax was jumping for Joy at the news that Brenda was no longer dating that computer guy anymore, but outside he was perfectly calm.
J: “Do you want to talk about it?”
B: “There’s nothing to talk about. It just wasn’t working
out.”
he truth was that Anthony called her the day after he came over and told
her that it was very obvious to him that she was still in love with Jax and
he didn’t feel like sticking around so that Brenda would go out with
him for a few hours whenever Jax was too busy to be with her. He told her
that she was a very beautiful woman and any man would be lucky to have her,
but he came to realize that Jax already had her and from what he could tell,
Jax
wasn’t letting go of her anytime soon, or perhaps it was that she
wasn’t letting Jax let go of her. Whatever it was he didn’t want
a part of it.
J: “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Not even a little part of that statement was true, Jax was thrilled beyond belief that Brenda was single again.
B: “I’m not, it’s really for the best.”
J: “I bet he has a broken heart right now.”
Brenda didn’t want to tell Jax that he broke up with her, so she just smiled and kept looking through the pictures in the album.
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B: “Did Lois tell you that Brooke hasn’t stopped talking about
helping the children with the money we won her?”
J: ”No Lois didn’t tell me, but Brooke mentioned it several
times.”
B: “What did you do to get her under your spell tonight?”
J: “Under my spell?”
B: “Yeah, she stayed by you almost the whole time.”
J: “If I recall correctly she didn’t let you go to far
either.”
B: “But I’m her god mother.”
Once that came out of Brenda’s mouth, she realized that she made a mistake.
She was just trying to joke around with Jax but she could see almost instantly
that he was hurt by her comment thought she couldn’t figure out why.
He glanced at her for a brief moment in which she could see pain flooding
his eyes and face. Once he turned back to concentrate on the road, she could
see the tenseness of his very muscular body. She thought about letting
it
pass but she couldn’t take watching him in pain, especially when it
was because of what she said.
B: “Jax.”
Jax didn’t bother responding to Brenda. He silently wiped the lone tear that fell from his eye as he kept his pain filled eyes on the road.
B: “What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said?”
The worry in Brenda’s voice immediately got to Jax.
J: “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me, not you.”
Jax knew that Brenda was right. If anyone would understand what was making
him so sad, it was Brenda. He decided to tell her enough to ease her worry.
J: “You’re right Brenda, we’ve always been able to talk openly.
I don’t want to lose that either. It’s really not that big of a
deal.”
Brenda could hear the obvious frustration in Jax’s voice.
B: “I’m sorry, I want to know what you’re saying, I just
don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
Jax’s voice goes down to almost a whisper.
J: “And I don’t know if I’ll ever have any.”
Brenda didn’t want to know but she had to ask.
J: “What else could it be about?”
What Jax didn’t realize or if he did realize it he wouldn’t acknowledge
was that every time he was around Brooke, he was also around Brenda, which
was a lot of the reason why he was always so happy.
Jax and Brenda stayed silent for most of the remainder of the drive. Brenda
wondered if she should have let Jax know exactly what her e-mail said so
that she would know if there was even a slight chance of regaining his heart.
Though she never realized that she never lost it. She also wondered if she
did get Jax back, if they would start a family right away. She knew that
she definitely wouldn’t mind working on getting a family, especially
if it
The Click of a Mouse - Chapter 7
Several days went by since Brenda began staying at Jax’s penthouse.
Every second of it was painful but Brenda refused to leave and return to
her cottage since Jax called her at his penthouse daily. The first night
was far better then the rest. Jax talked to Brenda while he packed, then
he sat down on the couch to watch a night time talk show with her. They both
quickly fell asleep while still leaning against each other. Brenda barely
remembered Jax leaving the next morning. By the time she woke up, he was
leaning over her telling her he had to go. They shared a quick hug before
Brenda fell back asleep and Jax left for the airport. That was the last descent
sleep she got.
The next nights were excruciating, Brenda tried to sleep in the guest room
but it was an impossible task. She couldn’t bring herself to sleep in
what used to be her guest room. She tried sleeping on the couch, imagining
that Jax’s arms were around her, but that didn’t work either. She
paced the floors for hours until finally she decided to go into Jax’s
room and lay down for a few minutes. She looked around the room for any sign
of her left in it but couldn’t find one (while Jax was packing, he quickly
found all his reminders of Brenda, except one, and put them away in his closet
so that she wouldn’t see that he was still clinging on to her for dear
life).
Finally she saw the only possible reminder of her, but figured he was probably
just keeping it as a reminder of Brooke. Sitting right in the center of his
dresser top was the angel bear she won him at the carnival. She walked over,
picked it up and curled up with it on the bed. Instead of easing off into
a deep sleep, she spent most of her nights lying there on Jax’s bed,
clinging to the angel bear, crying her eyes out because she was convinced
that any chance she had with Jax was gone forever.
Brenda spent her days working and waiting for Jax’s calls, as well as
e-mailing him. She wrote several more of her special e-mails (like the one
she accidentally sent prior) but she made sure to sign off of AOL first and
only save them on a disk. She found several reasons to call Jax, like to
ask him where he kept something in the kitchen (even though he hadn’t
moved a thing since Brenda left). He replaced the food often, but always
put it exactly the way Brenda put it when she lived there. She never actually
wanted to know the answers to her questions, all she wanted was to hear
Jax’s sweet voice. She missed him terribly and didn’t know how
many more of his business trips she could stand.
When she did have spare time, she sat at Jax’s computer, planning his
birthday surprise. She also spent a lot of time with Lois and Brooke since
Lois knew how miserable Brenda got every time Jax left town.
Jax for the most part worked as hard as he could. He tried to bury himself
in his work so that he wouldn’t think of Brenda so much. Of course it
didn’t work. He couldn’t get Brenda or their kiss out of his mind.
Nor could he get Sheila’s words out of his mind. After several days
of trying to work, and barely getting anything done, Jax began realizing
that Sheila was right, more so then he wanted to believe. No matter how much
he wanted to deny it, Brenda was still a part of his heart, and she was still
a part of him. Once he realized this he got back to his fundamental question:
Can he ever trust Brenda with his heart again?
That’s the question that haunted him at night, every night that he was
on that business trip. He realized that he still loved Brenda but he didn’t
know if he could trust her enough to give her his heart again. He didn’t
know what to do, he knew that Brenda could make him happy but he also knew
that she could hurt him worse then he had ever been hurt. He tried not to
think about her, he even tried to get so drunk that he wouldn’t be able
to think about anything, but nothing worked, no matter what he did he
couldn’t get images of Brenda out of his head. About the only times
Jax was at peace was when he was on the phone with Brenda, reading Brenda’s
latest e-mail or responding to Brenda’s e-mail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time Jax’s birthday arrived, Brenda and Jax wanted nothing more
then to see each other the second he returned from his trip, but they both
knew that wasn’t possible, Jax had to go straight from the airport to
the restaurant where he was supposed to meet his cousin Andrew. He was
disappointed that his cousin Rene couldn’t come but he was grateful
to spend a little time with Andrew, even if it meant he would have to torture
himself for a few more hours of not seeing Brenda. Brenda spent the majority
of Jax’s birthday planning his surprise.
Brenda had oysters flown in from Ireland with a note from Patty telling him
to enjoy his birthday and that his next oyster dinner was on him. Brenda
felt her house with Birthday supplies, she had happy birthday banners all
over, and balloons galore. She even managed to sneak a few over to his penthouse
so that once he went home, he would be reminded of his celebration at her
cottage. The cake she had flown in form the same bakery where he bought her
pink cake for the worst birthday of her life. She had them make it blue since
that was her favorite color for him. She had tons of ice cream delivered
form all over the world so he could choose what ever kind he was in the mood
for, since he didn’t have one particular flavor that he liked best.
She planned to dim the lights and light candles so that he could have a relaxing
dinner, with out feeling that she was out to get him into bed.
Brenda also covered her small table, that sits in front of the couch, with
pictures of everyone who meant a lot to Jax, along with short notes from
each of them (with the exception of Brooke Lynn who drew him a picture of
him and Brenda at the carnival). Brenda also flew in all kinds of fresh flowers
to give the cottage a wonderful fragrance. On the table she placed the piece
de resistance: a small box which contained a small heart locket key chain
with a picture of her on one side, and Brooke on the other side, that way
they could both always be with him.
While the locket was a sweet gesture on Brenda’s part it was also her
way of assuring herself that she would always be in Jax’s heart. Assurance
she needed especially since she wasn’t sure if she would still be in
his life after the next day, that was the day she planned on telling him
exactly what was in her heart, that is if she didn’t chicken out. When
Lois suggested the idea to her, she thought it was a good idea, but the more
she thought about it, the less she wanted to risk what she already had with
Jax. Especially since she didn’t think he could trust her again. But
it was Lois’ speech about trust that made the idea seem so promising.
When Brenda told Lois that she wanted Jax more then ever, Lois’ first
response was, “finally, I thought you two would make everyone else miserable
for a lot longer before you finally admitted how you feel about each
other.” Her second response, after Brenda questioned how Jax could ever
trust her again, was that he does trust her, “Maybe not completely,
but he trusts you Brenda. More each day.” Lois went on to point out
examples like how Jax always asks Bren to help him pick out presents for
their friends because he trusts her opinions, and how he lets her drive any
cars of his that she wants, as well as his jets. Lois’ words still rung
in Brenda’s head as she wondered if she should tell Jax or not,
“Brenda he lets you fly his plane, he puts his life in your hands all
the time. Can’t you see that he trusts you with his life. He might not
be able to trust you with his heart yet, but he will. Just like he slowly
rebuilt his trust for you in other ways, he will slowly trust you with his
heart again.” All Brenda knew for sure was that she wouldn’t ruin
his birthday by burdening him with her feelings, she would give him this
one fabulous birthday to remember, then the next day, if she didn’t
panic and change her mind, she would ask him if they had a chance to be together
again. Making sure it was perfectly clear that if he didn’t want to
be with her, it wouldn’t effect their friendship. She held back her
feelings that long, if she had to do it for the rest of her life to keep
Jax in her life, she would without hesitating one bit.
Jax spent most of his birthday closing up his deals and rushing to the airport,
in fact he was so busy that he didn’t get a chance to call his Penthouse
until hours later then usual. By that time Brenda was already gone, working
on his birthday surprise. Jax thought he was going to have to go until after
his dinner with his cousin before he heard form Brenda but he was pleasantly
surprised on his plane ride home. He decided to look through his planner
that Brenda gave him for his birthday, since he hadn’t gotten a chance
yet. He flipped through quickly until he found something that caught his
attention. Brenda’s hand writing!
Before he read her message, he sat there for a few minutes staring at
her hand writing, until a sense of peace came over him. He savored each letter
of the message.
Hey Birthday boy,
I’m guessing that the first time you see this is on your way home from
your trip. I hope your business went well and that you didn’t have to
work too hard today. I know you can’t come see me when you get back
but I need you to come straight to the cottage after your dinner. I have
a surprise for you (you didn’t think I would let your birthday go by
without wishing you happy birthday in person did you?). I’m sure I’m
missing you right now. Oh, if I haven’t told you yet today, (which I
probably didn’t since you were probably too busy to call me this morning)
Happy Birthday! And don’t forget to call me, I’m sure you have
awhile before you land. Oh, I’m at the cottage, where I expect you to
be tonight. Have a spectacular birthday. If I were Lucy I would write ,
“ta”, but since I’m Brenda, I will write, bye, I miss you.
Love,
Brenda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first second Brenda heard her phone ring, she ran and picked it up before
the first ring even ended.
B: “Happy Birthday Jax!”
J: “How did you know it was me?”
B: “Because I left you the message and I figured you should be finishing
it right about the time the phone rang.”
J: ”Is my behavior that obvious?”
B: ”No, I just know you well.”
J: “What are you up to?”
B: “What do you mean?”
J: ”I know you’re planning something for my birthday, you hinted
about it in your message. Brenda I don’t want you to go through any
trouble, you already gave me a party.”
B: “Are you done now?”
J: “With what?”
B: “Trying to change my mind about something you know I’m not going
to change my mind about.”
J: “Yeah, I’ve learned not to argue with your stubbornness.”
B: “Hey.”
J: “I’m the birthday boy, I get my way today remember?”
B: “I don’t know why I ever agreed to that rule.”
J: ”Are you almost done with what ever you’re planning for
tonight?”
B: “Why? Are you stopping here when you get back?”
J: ”No, I have to go straight to the restaurant, but I will go there
as soon as we finish eating. I should have told Andrew to come another
day.”
B: “No, he’s your cousin and I know you want to spend time with
him. Are you sure your other cousin can’t make it?”
J: “Yeah. Bren I have to get off the phone now, I can barely hear you,
my ears are all plugged up.”
B: “Okay, I’ll see you tonight. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jax! Enjoy your
dinner with Andrew. “
J: ”Bye Bren, I’ll see you tonight.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By seven o’clock at night, Brenda was sitting in the cottage imaging
what it would have been like if Andrew wasn’t coming into town and she
got to go out to dinner with Jax for his birthday, She imagined having the
cook bring out a special cake for Jax and watching Jax eat every delicious
bite of his piece. She imagined that while he was eating, a bit of cake dripped
onto his face and she had to, no got to wipe it for him. She imagined watching
him eat an exquisite meal and seeing that adorable look he always got after
finishing a meal which felt him up perfectly. She imagined them laughing
and sharing a short, but very sweet birthday kiss, followed by a long hug,
as they entered the restaurant. Her images of what the night would have been
like, skipped around in time, nothing happened in an exact order, but everything
that happened made her phenomenally happy. Just when Brenda was imagining
handing Jax his present, during desert, the sound of the phone ringing knocked
her back in to reality.
Brenda glanced at the clock and saw that it was a little after seven, she
knew that the reservations were at 7:30. “Perhaps Jax got a few free
moments and decided to call me”, she thought. But it wasn’t Jax
who’s voice she heard over the other end. It was a male’s voice,
almost a mixture between Jax and Jerry’s voice but it was definitely
neither of them. After Brenda’s initial, “hello” she stayed
quiet for over a minute trying to figure out who answered her back, calling
her by her name.
B: “Who may I ask is calling?”
A: “Andrew, Jax’s cousin, I’m sure he told you all about
me.”
Brenda immediately thought that he was arrogant and didn’t understand
why Jax was so excited to see him again.
B: “He’s told me a bit about you, but not that much.”
A: “Oh, I see.”
B: “Jax isn’t here so”
A: “I’m not calling for Jax, it’s you that I want.”
B: “Excuse me.”
Brenda was really thinking, Excuse you,” but since it was Jax’s
cousin and he obviously meant a lot to Jax, she didn’t want to be rude
to him.
A: “I had this dinner set up with Jax for tonight.”
Brenda immediately thought, “okay now he’s trying to goat me. Jax
told me that he informed Andrew that those were our reservations, OUR
reservations at a restaurant we will probably never be able to get reservations
at for at least another ten years.” But Brenda didn’t want to do
anything to give Andrew leverage to use against her, so she tried her best
to be polite.
B: “He told me, what do you want from me?”
A: “I was getting to that. Jax phoned a few minutes ago and said he’s
been delayed and won’t be able to make it.”
B: “Oh god, please don’t let there be anything wrong with the plane
he’s on.”
Brenda wasn’t really talking to Andrew, but he answered anyway.
A: “There’s nothing wrong with his plane, he was just delayed.”
Brenda’s heart beat slowed a bit as she thought, “funny he didn’t
mention it to me when we were on the phone or call me and let me know.”
A: “Anyway I called you to see if perhaps you would be willing to have
dinner with me. I understand that the reservations were difficult to get
and I know you were supposed to go with him in the first place.”
Brenda wanted to say no. If Jax couldn’t make the dinner with his cousin,
she knew that he would go straight to her cottage. But then Andrew added
the line he knew would get her there.
A: “I asked the doorman to move the reservations to seven forty five,
he agreed, he also agreed to show Jax in once he arrives and to make an exception
for us and have three people at our table.”
Jax would be there, how could Brenda resist? She couldn’t, of course.
B: “I’ll be there. Thanks for inviting me Andrew.”
A: “Thank you for coming.”
Anthony hung up the phone with an extremely evil grin on his face at the
same time that Brenda hung up with an enormous smile, and thoughts of surprising
Jax by being at his table when he showed up at the restaurant. Anthony wasted
no time in dialing Rene. He told her to hurry up and get to the restaurant
before she ruined everything. Brenda thought she was going to have the best
night of her life. She never could have guessed what would actually happen
that night.
B: “Jax, please tell me what’s wrong. The one thing we’ve
always had with each other is openness, you know you can tell me anything.”
<
B: “I want to hear it anyway.”
J: “I was just thinking about the fact that I’m the only adult
in Brooke’s life who isn’t something to her.”
B: “What are you saying, she adores you. You’re one of her favorite
people.”
J: “But I’m the only one who she calls by simply my
name.”
B: “Do you want her to call other people Jax?”
J: “NO.”
J: “Your her Mommy God; Lois is her Mommy; Ned is her Daddy; Even Reginal
is Butler Regi. All the other adults she either identifies by their family
relationship to her, or as friend, and then what ever their name is,
but I’m always just Jax.”
B: “You have to know that she adores you. That little girl loves you
a lot Jax.”
J: “I know. I just wish I was something more then Jax to her.”
B: “Your Jax to me and you are the most important person in my life,
you know that right? Just because she doesn’t have a title for you
doesn’t mean that you’re not important to her.”
J: “I guess it’s just that when I see her it makes me think about
kids.”
B: “Jax, is that what this is about, you wanting kids or is it about
something else?”
B: “Maybe you’re upset over breaking up with Shiela.”
J: “Brenda this has nothing to do with Sheila. It’s just that I’m
so happy when I’m around Brooke. I want to be able to have that feeling
all of the time.”
At that moment Brenda came up when an idea, she would teach Brooke to call
Jax by a new name, one that she thought fit him perfectly.
involved lots of kisses like the one that won them first prize in that contest.
Jax mostly thought about what it would be like to have a family. He also
thought about Sheila’s words once again, and that incredible kiss he
shared with Brenda, that dear sweet Brooke documented with pictures for
him.
The one time Jax and Brenda did talk was when Jax asked Brenda if she wanted
to spend the night at the penthouse so she wouldn’t have to listen to
the sounds of the cottage. He also offered to let Brenda stay in the penthouse
while he was out of town. Brenda accepted his offer, though she would later
regret it. She insisted that Jax meet her at the cottage after he had dinner
with his cousin the night he returned from his trip. Brenda knew how
hard it would be to stay in the penthouse, but she wanted every second she
could get with Jax before he took off on his business trip.
So happy that we got Brenda's choice from the heart,
Jax!
Darlene
J&B Angel/IRFC
GH Angel - Keeper of Jax's love for Brenda
J&B Reuniter