CIRCLE OF LOVE

by Kathleen

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I appreciate all the wonderful feedback on this story. Please continue to drop me a note. This chapter is dedicated to all the wonderful fanfic authors whose talents provide us with the best entertainment these days.

RATING: "PG-13"

There is no "NC-17" version of this chapter.

CHAPTER 23 -- OBSTACLES ALONG THE WAY

Thursday, November 15, 2001

J & J Jacks -- 4:15pm

Reports detailing the past six months of stock activity for Paramount Entertainment were spread across the conference table as Jax and Jerry contemplated the latest take-over opportunity. Jax made a quick phone call to Brenda as Jerry reviewed the cost projections Julia had put together. Jerry could not help but to smile at the obvious effort she had put into the project. It was definitely some of the most dedicated and thorough work that Jerry had seen her do in months. Julia seemed different to Jerry but he could not figure out exactly how or why but their working relationship was much less strained than it had been over the past few months.

Jax double checked the trading forecast as he ended his phone conversation with Brenda. "Sweetie, I'm sorry you both had such a rough day again. I'll be home soon to give you some relief from the devil princess." He smiled into the receiver. "I love you. Good-bye."

Jerry looked across the table at Jax. "Something tells me that a certain munchkin is still on the wanted list today."

"You can say that again," Jax responded with a nod.

A chuckle escaped from Jerry's lips. "What did the midget do this time?"

Jax shook his head as he swiveled his chair. "Besides whining and not listening for two days, she now has graduated to full scale temper tantrums."

"Temper tantrums?" Jerry snorted as he smirked at Jax. "There may be hope for that one yet."

Jax rolled his eyes at Jerry. "Well, she has her theatrics down already, complete with the stomping of her foot and the slamming of doors."

"Oh, she's picked up all the Barrett traits," Jerry said as he recalled just how many times Julia slammed the door in his face before she finally agreed to marry him. He thought to himself, "Well, at least Jillian's not throwing things yet."

"And the Jacks attribute as well," Jax exclaimed with a deep breath. "She also has a short fuse at times."

Jerry winked. "Then all I can say is, look out world."

"Well, at this point it is look out Jillian." Jax cleared his throat. "Brenda's patience is not her strongest suite right now and Miss Jillian has now seen that firsthand."

"I bet she did." Jerry laughed as he tipped his head back. "Since I can't see Brenda marching the midget to the woodshed at this point, am I safe to assume a prison sentence was handed down?"

Jax bobbed his head slightly. "Among other things, yes."

"Solitary confinement," Jerry quipped as a smug smile covered his face. "I know how much Roo hates to be prevented from providing the entertainment in the room."

Jax's mouth curved into an involuntary smile. "That she does. It is the utmost penance in her eyes."

He snickered. "So did the Dragon Lady Mommy stick her in a dark broom closet or under the house?"

"Very funny," Jax muttered as he glared at Jerry. "You know the space well, you lived there for a year."

"Oh yes, that painfully, quiet guest room at the end of the hall." Jerry stroked his chin with his hand. "I bet the munchkin begged for her own room instead."

Jax drummed his fingers against the table as he nodded. "Of course she did, with all the books and toys that go with it. Then she threw her tantrum when Brenda told her there was no chance that was ever going to happen."

Jerry could not help but visualize the image of Jillian's attempts to coax Brenda before the little imp moved into tantrum mode. "So where is the mischievous captive now?"

"Asleep finally. Brenda went to get her a few minutes ago and there she was sprawled out on top of the bed with her head under the pillows." Jax exhaled sharply. "It's the first nap she has had in the past three days so hopefully she will wake up in an agreeable mood. If not, her mother's mood is going to make Cruella DeVille look like Mary Poppins."

A big grin appeared on Jerry's face. "I'm telling you, under the house would have worked just as well. I will have to remind Cruella of that for the next time."

Jax chuckled to himself. "This isn't you we are talking about and those chains Mum had to shackle you with all the time. Jillian is a much quicker learner than you ever were."

Jerry leaned back in the chair as he shook his head. "You're confusing me with yourself."

"Right," Jax uttered in a sarcastic tone. "You were Lucifer, not me."

"I was no such thing, Jasper. You were just spoiled rotten since you were Lady Jane's baaaby. Baby Jasper, please." Jerry waved his hand in the air. "As the elder and more distinguished brother, I had to break the folks in for you."

His laughter echoed in the room. "Break the folks in for me?" Jax's words were spoken amidst his mirth. "So that's the motivation behind all that malfeasance, unselfish alms on my behalf?"

"What else would I have done, little brother?" Jerry smirked as he shrugged his shoulders. "I have been looking out for your ass since day one."

Jax took a drink from his glass of mineral water. "Like the time, you were smoking near the shed and the grass caught fire and Mum asked what happened and you told her you were trying to stop me from smoking?"

He gave Jax a scowl. "What are you complaining about, Lady Jane didn't believe it anyway."

"How could you have ever thought she would?" Jax rolled his eyes as he continued. "I was only five years old and you had the rest of the pack in your pocket."

Jerry shrugged his shoulders. "Details, details."

"Or what about the time you let Dad think I was the one who blasted the barn window with buckshot when it was really you and one of your roguish cohorts." Jax crossed his arms in front of him. "How was that looking out for me?"

"You couldn't hit the side of a barn then, even with the itty-bitty musket Dad had." Jerry used his hands to exaggerate the small size of the gun. "I just wanted Dad to think your aim was getting better so the broken window was a trophy of sorts for you."

"I had no idea," Jax responded as he chewed on his bottom lip to suppress his mirth. "The sacrifices you have had to make are so staggering."

Jerry bobbed his head up and down. "Yes, and it's even worse when the younger brother is such a geek." He sighed dramatically. "Altruism is such hard work even for someone as truly gifted as I am."

Jax rubbed his eyes as he chuckled deeply. "Jeremiah, you obviously drank your lunch." He continued to snicker. "Your breakfast as well."

Jerry leaned across the conference table. "Jasper, you are just afraid to admit how much you looked up to me when you were just a tadpole."

Jax leaned across the table in return. "Of course I did. You were taller than me then. What else could I do?"

Jerry glowered as Jax's laughter began anew. "Whether you admit it or not, I sure as hell know how much I influenced the person you are today."

"That you did," Jax mumbled as he composed himself. "I certainly learned all about the punishment that would be administered if I ever pulled any of the brain dead stunts you did." He began laughing again. "So I did become a model son because of you."

"Model son?" Jerry choked on his words. "What have you been smoking?" He shook his head in disbelief. "I knew all that mush and accolades bestowed upon you by that love struck wife of yours would just go right to your head. You both are seriously delusional now."

"I would watch what you say." There was mock admonition in Jax's voice as he shook his finger at Jerry. "Brenda is no one to tangle with right now."

Jerry put up his hand to interrupt Jax's statement. "That we will agree on. I'm surprised that someone has not figured out that women in the last stages of pregnancy could force even the most loyal military officer to divulge every military secret ever known."

"Why don't you recommend that to the CIA the next time one of its agents pulls you in for questioning?" Jax's mouth curved up into a smile as he looked at Jerry. "Isn't it about time for the quarterly visit?"

"Yes, the amateurs should be back within the next few weeks," Jerry exclaimed with a cheshire grin. "And to think that the amateurs still find me so amusing after all these years."

Jax cleared his throat. "I'm glad someone does since you certainly have lost your entertainment value around here."

"Bloody hell I have." Jerry waved his hand in the air." Brenda does not count since she is close to dropping her litter."

Jax exhaled slowly. "Please go to the house now and tell Brenda that, I always wanted to be an only child."

"Jasper, I may be a fool but I sure as hell am not stupid." Jerry sat back in his chair and laughed. "The confounded sheila already chewed my head off this morning on the phone. She is adorable and when she is not getting ready to spawn, she certainly is easy to hide but I don't know how you live her."

Jax's grin broadened. "What did my lovely wife do to poor Jerry this time?"

"Is she going senile? Jerry groaned under his breath. "Haven't I told her three times already that I know what time Thanksgiving dinner is next Thursday" and that I will be there. I have promised the infuriating woman that I will not be leaving for Asia until the end of the weekend." He shook his head. "She's almost as maddening as...." Jerry stopped short before saying Julia's name out loud.

He picked up on Jerry's unspoken comment. "Yes, both Barrett ladies have their moments and now Jillian is following right behind them." Jax then smiled. "But they all are quite spectacular because of it."

Jerry rubbed his temple as he took a sharp intake of air. "Yes, the curse."

"Only if you let it be." Jax's face became serious. "I know this is between you and Julia and so does Brenda but sometimes she can't help herself. She just wants you and Julia to be happy and everyone to be together for part of the day."

"I know she does and I don't want to upset her." Jerry raked his fingers through his hair. "Her motivations are genuine but I don't know what's going to happen. I don't think Julia does either."

Jax nodded his head. "Well, at least you share that right now and you both have all of us." A deep sigh escaped from his lips. "That's something to be thankful for, isn't it?"

Jerry's response was immediate. "It is that."

The Jacks Residence -- 6:00pm

Brenda propped her feet up on the end of the sofa as she jotted down notes concerning the winter tour schedule for Ingo and the Angels. She heard the sound of approaching footsteps and looked up to see Jax entering the living room area of the master suite. She smiled and Jax flashed Brenda one in return as he walked over to the couch.

"Hey beautiful." Jax leaned over and sweetly kissed her on the mouth and then gently caressed her swollen stomach.

Brenda linked her fingers through his as she murmured, "Hello handsome."

Jax adjusted the pillows under her feet before sitting down on the coffee table in front of the couch. "Your ankles are more swollen than this morning. You were on your feet too much today."

"After dinner, I'll keep them up and the swelling will go down some." She gave Jax a reassuring smile. "Hopefully the halls of justice will be closed for the night."

A lopsided grin appeared on Jax's face. "She's still sleeping?"

"Yes," Brenda replied as she glanced down at her watch. "But it's late now and she'll have to get up shortly or her schedule will be off again tomorrow."

Jax tenderly stroked Brenda's hand. "I'll wake her up in a few minutes."

"I told Jillian that she was going to have to tell you everything when you came home." Brenda lifted her right eyebrow. "She was enthralled with that prospect as well."

He suppressed the grin which threatened to cover his face. "I can just imagine."

"And when I checked on her fifteen minutes ago, she was so adorable." An exaggerated sigh fell from Brenda's lips. "How a terror can look so angelic is beyond me."

"I have no idea." The expression on Jax's face betrayed the teasing nature of his comment.

"I know very well what you are thinking, mister." Brenda swatted her hand against Jax's thigh. "Stop it. I was reminded enough about it already this afternoon."

Jax choked back his mirth. "I don't have a clue as to what you're implying."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "Jax, give it up. I would wager Dream, Star and every other champion bloodline the stables have on the fact that you and Jerry discussed exactly where Jillian inherited her foot stomping trait."

Jax made no attempt this time to stop his laughter. She really could anticipate every move and every thought of his. "Yes, but Jerry did admit that you are as adorable as you are aggravating."

Brenda clenched her fists. "Remind me to wring his neck when I see him the next time."

"My love, your wish is my command," Jax replied as he kissed the corners of Brenda's mouth.

"Thank you honey." Brenda caressed his jawline with her fingers. "But it will have to wait until after Thanksgiving because your brother is not going to use a hospital stay as an excuse to not be here."

"He'll be here." Jax's deep chuckle echoed in the room. "Jerry knows you will send a pack of wild dogs out to find him if he is not."

Brenda nodded her head. "Good, those plans of his about flying off to Asia the day before Thanksgiving were totally unacceptable. I'm glad he knows where I stand."

Jax's eyes sparkled like sapphires. "My darling, you make it next to impossible not to know what you think." He flashed Brenda a lopsided grin. "My little tenacious one."

"I don't think I am your little anything at this point." Brenda patted her blossoming stomach. "Not by a long shot."

Jax lowered his head and placed two baby kisses on Brenda's swollen abdomen. "My sweet angel carrying our two little cherubs. He laid his head on top of her stomach. The three of you are absolutely perfect." Jax turned his head so that he was looking up at Brenda. "And that little angel in the other room, even with her lost halo, is about as perfect as she can be too."

"She is that and we all love you." Brenda ran her fingers through Jax's golden tresses. "And speaking of lost halos..."

He kissed Brenda and then sat up. "I'll go see if Jillian has found hers yet."

"Okay," she murmured with a smile. "I'll give you some time alone with her and wait here with the tarnish remover."

Jax caressed her cheek and then left the master suite. He walked down the hall to the guest room and saw Jillian asleep atop the bed. Just as Brenda had stated, Jillian looked like a sleeping angel. Brenda had taken off Jillian's shoes and covered her with the quilt from the chair next to the bed. He watched Jillian shift against the pillows as he entered the room. When Jax sat down on the bed, Jillian's eyes fluttered open.

"Daddy!" Jillian smiled for a second and then the beam on her face quickly faded.

He saw the change in Jillian's expression as he helped her sit up. "Hello Jillian."

Jillian lowered her eyes from Jax's gaze. He tipped her chin so that she was looking up at him. "I hear that we have some things to talk about."

"Yes," she answered in a very small voice.

Jax folded his hands together on his lap. "I'm listening."

She was silent and Jax watched as Jillian chewed on her bottom lip in a perfect imitation of Brenda's nervous habit. She was becoming more and more like her mother every day. After a moment he touched her hand. "What happened today?"

Jillian lowered her eyes again. "I made Mommy mad."

Jax slowly exhaled. "Tell me."

"I wanted to see the movie and Mommy said later." Jillian stammered a bit. "But I wanted to sing with Maria and all the kids."

"You wanted to sing and watch the movie even though Mommy told you no?" Jax raised his eyebrows. "So what did you do?"

A frown covered her face. "I got the movie out of the box and put it in the machine."

He sighed deeply. "Jillian, what are the rules about movies and the VCR?"

Her voice trembled as she spoke. "I can't touch them. Only you and Mommy and Maggie are allowed."

"So that means first you did not listen when Mommy said no about watching and then you broke two more rules when you touched the tape and the VCR." Jax folded his arms in front of him. "Then Mommy punished you."

"Uh-huh," Jillian responded with a bob of her head. "Mommy said no movies for three days and I had to come in here by myself." Her bottom lip then began to quiver. "And then....."

Jax lifted Jillian's chin once again so that she was looking up at him. "And then what?"

"I told Mommy I didn't want to be punished." Tears rimmed Jillian's eyes. "She was really mad and said to put the tape down and get in the quiet room."

Jax looked directly at Jillian. "What happened then?"

"I didn't want to come. I don't like punishment." Her words came amidst her tears. "I closed the cabinet door real hard and it fell open and the tape fell on the floor." Her tears really started to fall then. "And Mommy's tape broke."

Jax removed "The Sound of Music" tape from his blazer pocket. "This tape?"

"Yes." Jillian then buried head into the pillows. "And now Mommy's mad and Santa Claus was watching too."

He put the tape on the bed and reached down to move Jillian into a sitting position again. "Well Jillian, today was not a very good day, was it?"

"No," Jillian replied as she shook her head.

Jax exhaled sharply. "Why wasn't it?"

"I didn't listen and made Mommy mad." She sniffed back her tears. "Now I can't watch Emily practice singing at school."

"That's right, you can't." Jax reached over and took a tissue from the box on the night stand and handed it to Jillian. "That was only a special treat if you behaved and today, you lost that too with your temper tantrum."

Her tears started again. "I don't like punishment."

"Mommy and Daddy don't like to punish you either but when you don't behave, we have to." A soft sigh fell from his lips. "Maybe now, you will remember to listen."

"I'm gonna remember." She caught her breath. "Is Mommy gonna be mad at me all the time now?"

Jax shook his head. "No, she just wants you to behave and to do as you are told. She does not want to be mad."

"Mommy said I had to tell what I did." Her voice shook as she looked up at Jax again. "Are you gonna punish me too?"

"No," he responded in a soft voice. "Tomorrow when we all wake up, I want us to forget about today and start all over. But there are two more things you're going to have to do before that."

Jillian gave him a curious look. "What Daddy?"

"First, when you see your mother, you need to tell her how sorry you are about today." Then Jax picked up the tape again. "And the other thing is that Mommy's tape is broken so she needs to get a new one."

The slightest hint of a smile appeared on Jillian's face. "We can go to the store and buy one."

Jax nodded. "Yes, you and I will do that over the weekend but do you know how we are going to pay the store for the tape?"

"The money in your pocket," Jillian proposed.

Jax shook his head. "No, I already bought Mommy the movie with money from my pocket."

"We can give the man the silver plastic card in your wallet." Jillian continued on that topic. "Like Mommy does at the store."

Jax had to stop himself from laughing at loud. She really was a miniature Brenda as an affinity for credit cards had already taken shape. "No, not the silver card either." He patted Jillian's hand. "Remember when we go to the store and we tell you not to touch anything because if something gets broken, we have to pay the store for it?"

Jillian bobbed her head. "Yes, Daddy. Mommy tells me -- hands behind my back."

"Well, it is just like that with the broken tape. Now you have to pay for Mommy's new one." Jax studied Jillian's face to see if his words were registering. "I'll get the quarters out of your piggy bank and we'll take them to the store to buy the new tape."

Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Grandpa's quarters in my Minnie Mouse bank?"

"Yes, Grandpa's quarters." He pushed a curl from Jillian's forehead. "That's what happens if you break something when you're misbehaving."

A frown appeared on her lips. "All my quarters?"

Jax suppressed his grin. "We'll have to count them but there may be a few left."

A sigh of relief echoed in the room. "Minnie needs money in her tummy." She spoke deliberately then. "When Grandpa comes for turkey day, I need to count real high to get more."

Jax smiled at her. "If you behave yourself, then you can play the counting game with Grandpa."

"I'll listen," she said with a nod. "I promise Daddy."

Jax's expression became serious again. "Okay, but remember how important the word "promise" is. That means you're telling me and Mommy that you're really going to remember to listen and to behave."

"I don't wanna be punished anymore. I'll listen." She sat up on her knees. "Can I tell Mommy?"

"Yes, we'll go tell Mommy now." He helped Jillian off the bed. "She's in our room waiting for you."

Jillian walked ahead of Jax out of the guest room but hesitated a moment before going inside the master suite. When she did, Brenda looked up and flashed her a small smile. "Hello Jillian."

At the sound of Brenda's voice, Jillian scurried over to the couch. Jillian extended her arms and hugged her around the stomach as Brenda sat there. "Mommy, I'm gonna listen."

"I'm so glad." Brenda kissed the top of Jillian's head.

"And I'm taking my Minnie bank to the store to give the man quarters so we can see Maria sing and dance." Jillian took a deep breath before continuing. "Emily's gonna be Maria at school in the play."

"Yes, she is." Brenda bobbed her head. "You can't see her practice this weekend because of your punishment but if you behave, you can bring her flowers the night we see her in the play in a few weeks."

"I'll behave." Jillian caught Jax's reminder motion. "Sorry Mommy. I'm gonna remember the rules so no more punishing."

"I'm so happy to hear that." She stroked Jillian's cheek. "Daddy and I don't like to have to punish you."

Jillian climbed onto the sofa beside Brenda. "Are you still sad?"

Brenda shook her head. "No, I won't be sad if you're going to remember to listen."

"Is Santa Claus gonna be mad still so he won't bring me my ballerina box?" Jillian's lips formed a slight pout as she anxiously awaited Brenda's answer.

"I think if you work really hard to obey all the rules, you can still ask Santa Claus for the music box." Brenda gently tugged at Jillian's curls. "But you have to work very hard now."

A radiant smile crossed Jillian's face. "I'll work really hard, just like on my letters." She sighed. "I'm gonna coberate."

"Cooperate," Brenda said with a grin. "That's what Daddy and I want to hear." She smiled at Jillian. "Now we can eat dinner and have a quiet evening before bed."

Jillian tapped Brenda's hand. "Daddy can move my bed after dinner."

A bewildered look covered Brenda's face. "Move your bed? Why Jillian?"

Jillian's eyes widened as she spoke. "So I can wake up the good way and not on the wrong side like you said today."

Soft laughter fell from Brenda's lips. "We'll leave your bed where it is for now but you can do one more thing for me."

She looked up at Brenda. "What Mommy?"

Brenda extended her arms out. "Give me a really big hug." She hugged Jillian tightly. "Now give one to Daddy and we'll go eat."

Jillian got up on her knees and Jax lifted her into his arms and she hugged him. "Thank you princess." He put her feet back on the floor. "Now go wash your hands for dinner."

She scrambled into the master bath as Jax helped Brenda off the couch. Brenda rested her head on Jax's shoulder as he put his arm around her. The halo was a little more tarnished but their biggest angel had returned. The tiniest two angels were getting their evening exercise safely nestled within Brenda's body while their blessed angel was sitting atop the tree outside watching over all of them. Heaven seemed much closer to home tonight.

Monday, November 26, 2001

The Jacks Residence -- 6:00am

Jax rolled over in his slumber and stretched his arm over to Brenda's side of the bed. At the feel of the cool satin sheets against his skin, Jax's eyes opened. He sat up and looked around the dark room and saw no sign of Brenda. Jax then remembered how Brenda had tossed and turned all night and how he had held her until she had finally settled down. He realized that he had then proceeded to fall asleep himself and missed her disappearance from the master suite.

He climbed out of bed, threw on his robe and then began his search for Brenda. Jax did not have to go very far as he found Brenda in the first place he looked. She was standing in front of the picture window in the Angel room. Brenda's arms were wrapped tightly around her chest and her forehead was resting against the glass. He remained in the doorway, momentarily leery of disturbing her deep reflection. Jax recognized Brenda's stance immediately, he had first witnessed it in the penthouse during those first months of their life together. There, Brenda had stood before the wall of floor to ceiling windows for countless hours as she had slowly learned to trust her own heart.

There were still lessons to be learned and the column windows in the Angel room had now become Brenda's mirror of meditation. Brenda had stood before the windows often over the past few months, but over the past week, it had been as if the reflecting pools of glass had continually beckoned her. The plans for Thanksgiving dinner had provided a temporary diversion but now that the holiday was over, Brenda was again drawn to the windows. And today, she especially needed them. Today, Brenda needed to feel whatever it was her heart was telling her to feel.

As the sun slowly rose in the sky, the room became more illuminated. Jax saw Brenda's shoulders began to shake and that put an end to the solitude and distance he was giving her. Silently, Jax crossed the room and moved behind Brenda. He touched Brenda's shoulders to alert her to his presence and then Jax wrapped his arms around her. Jax could feel the tension in her muscles immediately, just as he had the past two nights in bed. Brenda rested her head against his chest as she closed her eyes. Jax simply held her as tears rolled down Brenda's cheeks.

They stood there in silence as dawn awakened the new day. The sunlight was giving warmth to the room and Jax could feel the warmth in his heart as he caught sight of Snowflake perched in the corner of the window ledge. The tiny bird had his beak pressed up against the glass as he peered into the room. Jax smiled as he rested his chin atop Brenda's head. Brenda was no longer shaking as her sobs had been replaced by a trickle of tears. When Snowflake began to sing, Jax felt Brenda's entire body relax in his arms.

Jax pressed his lips against the silkiness of her hair. "I'm right here and you're all right."

"I looked for him but couldn't see him." Brenda's spoke through her labored breathing. "I was so scared."

Jax quickly moved so that he was facing her. "I know you're scared. It's okay."

Brenda's words were barely comprehensible due to the emotion in her voice. "I had a dream.....they were gone."

"No sweetie," Jax murmured as he cradled her face with his hands. "It was only a nightmare." He pulled Brenda into his arms. "Everything's all right."

She clutched the terrycloth material of Jax's robe. "I couldn't feel them .....and he wasn't in his tree." Her voice was choked with a sob. "And it's today..."

Jax released Brenda from his embrace and stepped back slightly. "I know it was terrifying but it was a nightmare." He moved his hand up and down her abdomen until he felt movement. "You feel them now, don't you?"

"Yes," Brenda whispered as she sniffed back her tears.

"And Snowflakes's providing you with his usual morning serenade." Jax smiled at Brenda as he used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "He's right here watching you."

Brenda bit her bottom lip. "It was so real." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "And today..." Her emotions threatened to falter again. "31 weeks and 4 days."

Jax hugged her tightly to his chest. "I know sweetie, I know." He exhaled sharply at the thought of the tragic events of that day in the pregnancy with Jamie. "It's a very rough day."

"I've tried but sometimes I can't stop thinking about it," Brenda buried her head into Jax's chest. "Sometimes I think I'm going crazy."

"You're not doing anything of the kind," Jax whispered as he stepped back so he could look directly into Brenda's eyes. "Sweetie, we can't turn off our grief any more than we can turn off our love."

Brenda nodded as she took a deep breath. "I know but it's still so hard at times." She then grimaced and began stroking her abdomen. "Here we go again."

"You need to sit down." Jax took Brenda's hand and led her to the couch. "That's it...short, quick breaths." He trailed his hand up and down Brenda's arm. "Are you okay?"

She attempted a weak smile. "Yes, it's over."

He kissed her hand. "Was it worse than the ones over the weekend?"

"No," Brenda responded with a shake of her head. "Like Lynn always says, they will provide weeks of dress rehearsal." She took another deep breath. "Why Mother Nature thinks you need a dress rehearsal at this point is beyond me."

Jax attempted to inflect some humor into the moment. "Should I find a photo of Doctors Braxton and Hicks to put in the center of the dart board?"

"That's not a bad idea but then Jerry would lose his place there," Brenda murmured as she rested her head against the back of the couch. "Although he was too cute for words when he thought I was in actual labor over Thanksgiving." Then a devilish glint appeared in Brenda's eyes. "But then there was the reference to me hoarding food away for the winter under my blouse so forget it, his picture stays as the bulls eye."

A bright smile covered his face. "That's the woman I love."

"I love you." Brenda took his hand. "I'm sorry that I've worried you so much over the past few days."

He put his finger to Brenda's lips. "Don't you ever even think about asking me to stop worrying about you. It's impossible." Jax caressed her cheek with the palm of his hand. "It would be like asking me to stop breathing or asking me to stop loving you."

Brenda turned her face fully into Jax's hand and tenderly kissed the soft skin of his palm. "One day I'm going to find out exactly why all the angels in heaven lined up the stars to bring you into my life."

"The sun and the moon brought you into mine." Jax's face radiated with love. "We were put on this earth to be together and the heavens will be our home for eternity thereafter."

Tears crept from the corners of Brenda's eyes but these were tears of joy rather than sadness. "Oh Jax, you're still like make-believe."

Jax smiled as he shook his head. "No, I'm just in love." He grasped Brenda's hand and placed it on top of her stomach. "And nothing is make-believe about this."

"I love them so much it scares me." Her bottom lip quivered as she spoke. "It's not supposed to be that way."

He squeezed Brenda's shoulder. "You have to feel whatever your heart is telling you to feel."

Brenda nodded her head. "Melanie says the same thing. today it's not as easy."

"I know," Jax responded with a reassuring smile. "But later this morning, Lynn can tell us just how much our little ones have grown in the past week."

Brenda sharply exhaled as a swift kick was delivered to her rib cage. "Well, someone's legs certainly have gotten stronger."

"Well today, that will bring you some assurance." Jax leaned down and spoke to Brenda's stomach. "How about doing your Daddy a favor today and giving your Mommy gentle reminders about just how strong you are."

The first smile of the day covered Brenda's face. "I'm not sure they understand the definition of gentle."

"We're going to keep taking this one moment at a time," Jax murmured as he stroked her hair. "And together, we can get through anything."

Brenda wrapped her arms around Jax's neck. "Yes, we will. We have to."

Jax hugged Brenda and then eased her back against the pillows on the couch. "Now, I want you to try to get some rest before we go to the hospital for your ultrasound. Josee should have the tea ready now so I'm going to get you some and then I'll get Jillian ready for school."

A voice came from the doorway. "Let me do the honors with my granddaughter before we head back this afternoon." Jane walked into the room. "You two can just spend some time together."

"That would be wonderful Mum," Jax replied as he rose to his feet.

"Thank you Jane." Brenda flashed Jane a bright smile. "Jillian will love it."

Jax patted Jane's hand. "I'll go get some tea while you keep Brenda company."

"It will be my pleasure." She sat down beside Brenda on the couch as Jax left the room. Jane then turned to Brenda. "I'm sorry it's such a rough day, love."

"It's better now, thanks to a lot of things." Brenda caught her breath as another set of kicks was delivered. "I could thank you every day for the rest of my life for Jax but it would never reflect what I feel."

Jane shook her head. "My dear, all I ever wanted was to see you look back at Jax with matching eyes of love. That happened years ago and that look has only become more mesmerizing since then." Her eyes shined brilliantly as she continued. "I could never ask for anything more for my son or for you."

She took Jane's hand and squeezed it tightly. "I could never ask for anything more from a mother." Brenda's voice trembled slightly. "I just hope I am half the mother to my children that you have been to me."

"My dear, I couldn't ask for a more loving and devoted mother for my grandchildren." Jane choked back her emotion. "You love them with your whole heart and cherish every second you have. There is nothing more anyone can do than that."

Brenda hugged Jane and tears spilled down the cheeks of both women. Jax stopped as he walked through the doorway with the tray of tea. His heart felt full at the sight and then his heart began to sing as Snowflake once again began his serenade at the window. Today, everyone was watching over each other and nothing had ever felt so comforting.

Dr. Melanie McAdams' Office -- 4:30pm

Melanie sat silently in the chair as Julia took a moment to compose herself. Julia dabbed her eyes with a tissue as she caught her breath. Her sessions with Melanie had become increasingly intensive over the past four weeks and this afternoon had been no exception. Between her periods of introspection and the events of the Thanksgiving holiday, Julia's emotions were threatening to completely take control.

A comforting smile appeared on Melanie's face. "Take your time, Julia. This is not a race."

"It feels as if it should be," Julia murmured. "Everything is slipping away."

Melanie leaned forward in her chair. "What's slipping away?"

Julia took a deep breath. "Precious moments....Time.....Chances."

"With Jerry?" Melanie inquired. "Or with yourself?"

"All of the above." Julia nervously toyed with a strand of her hair. "And the holidays..."

"What about the holidays?" Melanie looked over at Julia. "Tell me about Thanksgiving?"

Julia fidgeted in her seat. "I don't even know where to start."

"Just start," Melanie replied with a smile. "You saw Jerry?"

"Yes, we were all together." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "It was just like before but... not like before."

Melanie folded her hands together. "How?"

Julia felt her emotions threatening to take over again. "All of us there just like we have been for the past few years." She became lost in thought as she continued. "And Jillian was typical Jillian....just this beam of sunshine in the room. And then..."

Melanie spoke in a soft voice. "And then what, Julia?"

"She has this effect on him, like nothing I've ever seen." Julia's words were murmured in a quiet whisper. "His whole face lights up and he gets this look in his eyes that could melt anyone's heart."

She encouraged Julia to further expound. "Has Jillian always had that effect on Jerry?"

Julia nodded her head. "From the first time he ever laid eyes on her."

"How did that make you feel then? Melanie continued to prompt Julia.

Julia brushed away a loose tendril from her face. "Joyful for him. It made it clear just how much love Jerry had to give, regardless of how hard he tried to hide it."

Melanie cleared her throat. "How does it feel now?"

"It hurts," Julia responded as tears began to sting her eyes again. "It hurts more than I ever realized."

"Why does it hurt?" She handed Julia a tissue.

Julia felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Because now I know that I'll never be able to give him a child to stir up that same emotion within him." She choked back her sobs. "I can't give him the only thing he truly wants."

"What about his feelings for you?" Melanie paused before proceeding on. "Are you saying that having you in his life is just some sort of secondary or ancillary aspiration for Jerry?"

"No," Julia replied with a shake of her head. "He loves me but it's just not fair to him."

"So now you think being married to you is unfair to Jerry? Melanie leaned back in her chair. "Julia, are those his words or yours?"

Julia's thoughts and emotions were completely jumbled. "I love him and we were supposed to be a family but I can't give him that." Her words were barely audible through her sobs. "It hurts too much."

"I know it hurts, it hurts like hell but is this hurting either of you any less?" Melanie reached out and touched Julia's hand. "Is this really being fair to either one of you?"

"You don't know how he is," Julia fought to regain her composure. "He would never admit how disappointed he is that he can't have a child with me."

"Have you even given him the chance?" Melanie exhaled slowly. "Or have you simply decided what is best for him?"

She lowered her eyes from Melanie's gaze. "I couldn't bear to see him not experience his own dreams."

Melanie moistened her lips before speaking. "Julia, there are other options available to enable the two of you to have a child to love. Have the two of you even thoroughly discussed that?"

"Jerry should have the chance to see every moment of his child's entry into life. He wants that." Julia rubbed her throbbing temples. "I see the way he looks at Brenda now."

"How does Jerry look at Brenda?" Melanie folded her arms together as she awaited Julia's response.

"Jerry is mesmerized. Brenda is so radiant, like a blossoming flower." Julia stumbled over her words. "And when he thought she ...."

"When Jerry thought what, Julia?" She gave Julia a reassuring smile. "Did something happen over Thanksgiving?"

Images of the scene in the kitchen flashed in Julia's mind. "Brenda has started having Braxton-Hicks contractions and Jerry was alone with her in the kitchen when she had one. He was so afraid that she was in premature labor, his voice was shaking."

Julia's own voice was shaking as she continued. "I walked to the door and there Jerry was kneeling beside her. He was so worried, so attentive, so protective of Brenda and the twins. Brenda was trying to calm him down and the brightness on his face when she moved his hand to feel those babies to reassure him...."

Melanie gave Julia a moment to collect her thoughts again. "What were you feeling as you stood there?"

"Agony," Julia muttered as her shoulders fell in weariness. "And then guilty that my failure has affected him."

"Failure?" Melanie took a deep breath. "Is that how you see yourself?"

Julia gripped the arm of the chair as she spoke. "Some days that's all I see. I'm not at the front of the line with a gold star and that means failure."

"As defined by you or Jerry?" Melanie's eyes met Julia's. "Does Jerry expect that everything you do or try to do will be perfect or anything close to that?"

"No, not at all." Julia shook her head as she thought about all the times in her relationship with Jerry that he told her that her perfectionist tendencies were going to drive them both crazy. "Jerry can't even stand the word."

Melanie rested her hand against her face. "But you decided you failed him so you shut him out without giving him a chance to agree with you or disagree with that stance?"

"I didn't know what to do." Julia sniffed back her tears. "Of all the people in this world, Jerry is the last person I ever wanted to hurt or disappoint but..."

"But what Julia?" She reached across the chair and touched Julia's arm. "What are you feeling?"

Julia closed her eyes momentarily. "Everything is so jumbled and sometimes I feel like I am an outsider just looking in."

"Is that how you felt over Thanksgiving? Like an outsider?" Melanie prodded her. "Did you feel like that as you stood in the doorway and watched Jerry with Brenda?"

"Yes," Julia responded with a nod of her head. "It would never be me in that scene."

Melanie studied Julia's expression. "Are you saying that Jerry would never be so protective and concerned about you or are you referring to something more?"

Julia wrung her hands nervously. "You mean Brenda and the pregnancy?"

"What about Brenda and the pregnancy?" Melanie cocked her head slightly to the side. "How do you feel when you are around her?"

"Confused." Julia's bottom lip quivered as she spoke. "I want to be so happy for her, for both of them. They have been through hell and back."

Melanie spoke in a deliberate tone. "Yes they have, but you have your own emotions to contend with and that isn't an easy task, is it?"

"No," Julia said with a shake of her head. "And I'm so ashamed of myself for feeling this way at times."

Melanie looked intently at Julia. "Feeling what?"

"Envious and resentful." Julia fought to control her tears. "And then guilty for feeling anything but joy for them."

"In other words, human?" She gave Julia an inquiring look. "Do you believe Brenda expects you to turn off every ounce of your emotions when you are around her?"

"Not at all," Julia murmured as she fought to maintain her composure. "Sometimes I think Brenda understands more than I do." She took a deep breath. "When I say that to her, Brenda says some days she is a step ahead and some days I am, but we are both still trying to make our way out of the forest."

Melanie smiled. "All of us are trying to do that Julia, in some way or another. Life gives us many obstacles to handle, the feat is finding the best course to prevail over them."

Julia brushed away a tear which had crept from her eye. "I certainly haven't been very successful of late."

"Is that because you have tried to close so many doors?" Melanie lifted her right eyebrow as she continued. "Have you closed off some of your options because of your fears?"

She sunk further down in the chair as Melanie watched her. "Yes, but I'm afraid they're closed forever now."

"Julia, I can't give you the answer to that. Only you and Jerry can determine that." Melanie met Julia's misty gaze. "But you will first have to decide if you owe it to yourself and to Jerry to find the answer to what options still exist for you individually and together." She handed Julia another tissue. "That's what I think you need to focus on right now."

Julia wiped away her tears. "I'll try. Jerry's away for the next ten days."

Melanie bobbed her head. "Then you can start to pull your thoughts together without any major distractions. We'll talk about everything at your next session later in the week."

A deep sigh fell from Julia's lips. "This isn't getting any easier, is it?"

"No." Melanie patted Julia's hand. "But you have to learn to walk before you can run and that's what you're doing right now."

"I hope so," Julia whispered. "For all our sakes."

Thursday, December 6, 2001

J & J Jacks -- 2:00pm

Jerry stepped off the elevator and walked through the main lobby of the office of J & J Jacks. His back and shoulder muscles ached from the trip back from Hong Kong this morning. On his way into the office, Jerry had already called Francesca and asked that she schedule a massage for him later in the day. He sighed to himself at the thought that Julia's hands were all his body used to need after his long trips but those days seemed so long ago now. Barbara greeted Jerry as he came into the main reception area and he flashed her a smile before heading straight to Jax's office. Jax had been tied up on a conference call with the London and Rome offices when he had called from the plane and Jerry wanted to find out how Brenda was. He knew she had been put on bed rest two days before due to her elevated blood pressure.

Addie was away from her desk when Jerry entered Jax's office suite. He walked past her desk and then entered Jax's private office to find Julia leaning over Jax's desk, sifting through a file. Jerry stopped short at the sight of the enchanting view before him. Julia was wearing his favorite ivory satin and lace camisole under her slate blue suit jacket and the sapphire pendant he had given her before they were married was dangling just above the valley between her breasts.

Julia looked up and was slightly startled to see Jerry standing in the doorway. Since she had begun to face some issues of her own ten days ago in the session with Melanie, all Julia had been doing was thinking about him and what was ahead of them for the future. "Jerry.....Hello."

Jerry wondered just how wide his mouth had been hanging open when she looked up at him. "Hello Julia." He then clamped his mouth shut so quickly that he knocked his teeth together.

"I have a conference call at this afternoon with Dennis and I was looking for the latest revisions to the architectural specs." She stood up straight as she pulled the specs from the file. "Addie's at lunch and I knew where to look."

He cursed himself as memories of the satin lace against Julia's skin came flooding into his mind. "I was looking for Jax."

"Jax left a few minutes ago for the afternoon." Julia closed the file on the desk. "He wanted to spend the rest of the day with Brenda."

Jerry took a step further into the office. "How is she? I talked to Jax yesterday afternoon and heard about her blood pressure."

"She felt much better today when I spoke to her, her headaches are gone." The corner of Julia's mouth involuntarily curved up into a smile. "Now as far as her boredom threshold."

"I bet," Jerry responded as he smiled to himself. "Brenda has never struck me as one that would enjoy being caged even though there have been plenty of times that I sure as hell wanted to put her in one."

Julia pulled her gaze away from the fullness of Jerry's lips as she realized that she could not count all the instances when Brenda had come close to putting Jerry in a cage. "I think Jax has been making some special arrangements to entertain her while she's off her feet." Then Julia cleared her throat as her thoughts immediately shifted to all the moments when Jerry had "entertained" her while she was off her feet.

"Knowing Jax, I'm sure that is the case." Jerry could not even begin to guess what those plans would be since the past entertaining tricks that Jax had used to surprise Brenda in bed were certainly off limits now. An agitated sigh fell from Jerry's lips at the thought of those bedroom tricks while Julia was just standing a few feet away from him wearing satin and lace.

Julia nodded. "It will be good for her." A soft sigh escaped from her lips. "I know Brenda is struggling at times with Christmas Eve just a few weeks away, but they have each other."

Between his frazzled nerves from the long trip and his anger at himself for letting the sight of Julia immediately send his pulse racing, Jerry felt his jaw tighten as he heard Julia's statements. Without a second thought, Jerry blurted out what had been torturing him for the three and a half months since Julia had walked out. "Well, at least one Barrett sister understands the true meaning and benefit of a partnership."

Julia heard her breath catch as Jerry's barb stabbed her directly through the heart. "Jerry." She fumbled over the words. "It wasn't..."

"It wasn't what Julia?" Jerry felt his teeth clench again and the emotions he had been plagued with in his sleep broke free. "Did you ever once let me help you? I love you for God's sake." There was obvious pain in Jerry's voice. "Do you have any idea how much I wanted to be there for you?"

"Yes," Julia whispered as she clenched her fists together so hard that her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands. "I just couldn't let you."

Jerry shook his head as he spoke. "No, you wouldn't let me and there's a big difference."

With tears rimming her eyes, Julia looked up at him. "You're right, there is."

A stunned look appeared on Jerry's face. He had expected Julia to bolt from the office as had been her standard practice for months when anything became too intense, but to his amazement, she remained standing there in front of him.

Julia immediately recognized the astonished look on his face. "No, I'm not going to run out of here." She bit her bottom lip. "Would you prefer that I did? Is that what you want?"

Jerry felt a knot twisting in the pit of his stomach. "Is that what you think?"

"I don't know Jerry," Julia murmured in a trembling voice. "I don't know what to think about anything anymore."

"Do you think I do?" Jerry shook his head as he looked at Julia. "I have no idea how to do this, Julia. I don't know where we are or what you want from me?"

"This isn't what I wanted." Julia felt her knees begin to buckle and she gripped the edge of the desk as she sat down in the chair. "I'm sorry."

His voice had a definitive edge to it. "Damn it, an apology is not what I need right now."

"I don't know what to tell you." Julia choked back the sobs that threatened to overtake her. "If I didn't love you so much..."

"You're doing this because you love me?" Jerry took a sharp intake of air and his voice then lowered. "But yet, you won't let me love you or help you. Is that what this marriage has become?"

Julia caught her breath as she tried to control her emotions. "I never meant to hurt you. I was trying not to."

"But you did." Jerry's eyes mirrored the anguish in his voice. "I know you did not set out to do that but it hurt all the same. It was as if someone was driving nails into me."

"Believe me, those nails went through me first." Julia did not even attempt to stop the tears from rolling down her face. "But I didn't know how to stop them."

His heart lurched inside him at the emotion behind Julia's words. Jerry found his own steadiness suspect and he leaned against the desk in front of her. "I believe that.....but..."

"But where does it leave us?" Julia finished his thought as she looked up at Jerry.

Jerry nodded his head. "Yes, where?" He raked his fingers through his hair. "I can't do this anymore. I am sick of us arguing and/or walking on eggshells around each other. I'm tired of wondering if divorce papers are going to greet me one morning or if I should be seeing a lawyer about them myself."

"This isn't what I wanted either but I didn't know what else to do." Julia's words were barely louder than a whisper. "And now I don't know how to get out."

His voice was filled with emotion. "Julia, I can't live like this anymore. Look at where we are now, you've been gone for months. What do you want me to do?"

"Tell me what you want." Salty tears moistened her lips. "In your eyes, is there enough left for even a chance for us at this point?"

"Honestly, I don't know." His throat was so tight, the words could barely escape.

"I don't know either." Julia sniffed back a fresh set of tears as she raised her eyes to meet Jerry's gaze. This was utter torture already so Julia decided to bite the bullet and to ask the question to whose answer she feared the most. "Would you even want there to be a chance?"

Jerry's eyes held hers as he bobbed his head. "Yes. God help me, I still love you." He then exhaled deeply as his expression became somber. "But as much as it kills me to admit it, we both know that wanting something does not mean we can or will ever have it. Or even that we should."

"No, it doesn't, and that had to be said. Thank you for being honest." Julia took a deep breath to slow down her rapid breathing before she continued. "And I do love you. I just don't know what's enough right now."

"Neither do I but I guess we'll both have to figure that out, kiddo." Jerry's customary term of endearment for her fell involuntarily from his lips.

When she heard the familiar endearing term, Julia felt her heart flutter. It was a mixture of pain and joy all at the same time. "Yes, we will."

There were a few moments of silence between them before Julia found her voice again. "Thank you for this." She brushed away a tear that was about to creep from the corner of her eye. "When you figure anything out, will you let me know?"

Jerry nodded. "And the same for you."

"I will," Julia replied as the intercom buzzed alerting her of the conference call for the waterfront project. She rose from the chair and walked around the desk. "I'd better go."

"Yes, go ahead." Jerry cleared his throat. "I'll see you later."

Jerry expelled a ragged sigh as Julia disappeared from his sight. Every emotion was raging within him. There were so many obstacles in his path that he did not even know where to start. When he turned around he caught a glimpse of Jillian's latest school art project hanging on the wall behind Jax's desk. It was something that resembled a makeshift heart and it had three simple words in somewhat legible crayoned letters written in the center. "I love you." Jerry took a deep breath as he turned to walk out of the office. At least he had figured out a good place to start.

The Jacks Residence -- 5:30pm

Jax made sure everything was ready downstairs for the entertainment and then headed upstairs to check on Brenda and Jillian. When he had come home from the office earlier, Jax had gone straight to the master suite and had found both Brenda and Jillian asleep in the bed. Maggie had come in the morning to look after Jillian since it was not a school day and then after lunch, Jillian had joined Brenda for a nap and an afternoon in the master suite. Some of Jillian's toys had been brought into the suite as well as her desk so she had plenty to occupy her time with while Brenda rested in bed.

He walked down the hall corridor and into the master suite. When Jax moved toward the bedroom area of the suite, he heard Jillian's voice. A beaming grin covered Jax's face as he stood at the entrance way and saw Jillian on the bed with Brenda. Brenda was sleeping on her side facing Jillian while Jillian was propped up on her elbows laying in bed with a book positioned right beside Brenda's stomach. As Jax stood there and watched, Jillian turned the page of the Disney alphabet book and continued her word lessons.

"This is the `D' words." She pointed out the colorful illustrations on the page. "There's a doll baby and that's a dog and then a dinosaur."

Jillian then lifted the book up as if to show the twins. "Lady's a dog and I have doll babies so you can see them when you get born, but no dinosaurs, they're too big for the house."

She laid the book against the comforter again and Jillian rested her head against Brenda's stomach as she continued on to the letter `E' in the book. Unbeknownst to Jillian, Jax took a few steps inside the bedroom area to get a closer look at her. As he did, Brenda opened her eyes and smiled and then quickly closed her eyes again before either Jax or Jillian realized that she was awake.

"This is what `E' looks like, see it's a stick with lines stuck on it." Jillian pointed to the top of the page. "Here's the elephants and they live in zoos and the circus. They eat peanuts and have a really really long nose." She giggled. "They spray water all over with their noses."

Jillian lifted the book up again to face Brenda's stomach and as she did, she saw Jax standing at the wall. "Hi Daddy!"

"Hey princess," Jax said as he moved closer to the bed. "What are you doing?"

"Reading to the babies." Jillian flashed Jax a radiant smile as she loudly whispered. "But Mommy sleeping so I'm not being loud."

He sat down beside Jillian on the bed. "That's good, thank you Jillian." Jax touched the book sitting on the bed. "Are you practicing with your book?"

"Yes," Jillian responded with a nod. "And helping the babies practice their letters too for when they get born."

Jax looked down at the book. "All about the letter `E' I see."

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "I talk to Mommy's tummy and tell them the words and all about letters."

He reached out and stroked Jillian's cheek. "You are being such a wonderful big sister already." Jax winked at Jillian as he continued. "Thank you and thank you for being such a big help to Mommy today."

A big grin covered Jillian's face. "I got Mommy her book and a big pillow for her legs. Jillian beamed. "Mommy says I'm a big girl now and can help take care of the babies too."

"That you are princess." He tweaked Jillian's nose. "Mommy and I are very proud of you, you have worked very hard to remember the rules and to be a big helper."

Jillian coyly dipped her chin as she spoke. "Mommy told me too and then we had a picnic right on the bed." Her curls moved softly against her face as Jillian then shook her head. "And no ants."

"I bet that Mommy really liked that part," Jax said with a chuckle.

Jillian covered her mouth as she laughed. "Mommy doesn't like bugs, not even the pretty capapillars and worms."

"Caterpillars princess." Jax laughed to himself at the memories of Brenda's various discoveries of

Jillian's caterpillar and worm collections. "Mommy is not a fan of too many bugs."

"And Mommy doesn't like when we tickle her." Jillian giggled again. "You're a good tickler Daddy and I help you."

Brenda opened one eye and a devilish smirk covered her face. She then quickly reached up and launched a surprise tickle assault on both Jax and Jillian. "Now, we'll see how much you two like to be tickled."

As Brenda tickled him under the arm, deep laughter fell from Jax's lips. "What a sneak we have here, pretending to be asleep."

Jillian shrieked when Brenda tickled her stomach. "Mommy!"

"Does someone not want to be tickled?" Brenda continued her tickling attack on both Jax and Jillian. "I can't hear you."

"No more tickles." Jillian squealed with giggles.

Brenda laughed out loud. "What's the magic word?"

"Please Mommy." Jillian spoke through her giggles. "Please."

"Okay, I heard it from the beautiful dark princess. What about you, gorgeous blonde prince?" Brenda's chocolate eyes gleamed as she spoke. "Do you know the magic word?"

Jax grabbed Brenda's hand simultaneously as the magic word fell from his lips. "Please."

Brenda grinned at both of them. "That's what I wanted to hear."

"Someone's in a very mischievous mood this evening." Jax murmured as he shook his finger at Brenda. "I don't know if I should give you your surprise."

"You like me mischievous Mr. Jacks." Brenda batted her eyelashes at Jax. "You know how much."

Jax sighed at the truth of Brenda's words. "You've got me."

"Thanking my lucky stars, yes, I do." Brenda leaned over and kissed Jax squarely on the lips. She then kissed Jillian on the cheek. "And my princess too."

Jillian rubbed her hands together as looked up at Jax. "What's Mommy's surprise?"

"Yes, what is this alleged surprise?" Brenda raised her right eyebrow. "You know how impatient I am."

"It's a secret still but I do need a little help," Jax replied with a twinkle in his eyes.

Jillian almost catapulted off the bed in her excitement. "I wanna help. Please Daddy."

Jax nodded his head and then helped Jillian off the bed. "Okay, we need to go downstairs for a few minutes." He turned to Brenda and winked. "I'll be back."

"I'll be waiting," Brenda murmured with a wink of her own.

Fifteen minutes later, Jax returned to the bedroom and walked over to the bed. "Your chariot awaits Mrs. Jacks."

Brenda looked at him with a bewildered look on her face. "Wheat are you talking about?"

"You'll see," Jax responded as he handed Brenda his terrycloth robe. "Patience is a virtue."

With a roll of her eyes, Brenda at up and slipped on the robe. She was still amazed that she could still tie the belt around her blossoming stomach. "What's going on Jax?"

"Patience Brenda." Jax slipped her feet into a pair of slippers and then lifted Brenda into his arms amidst her protests.

"Jax, you are going to kill your back," Brenda groaned as Jax carried her out of the master suite. "Where are we going?"

Jax ignored her protests and squirming as he carried Brenda down the stairs. He entered the living room where Brenda watched Jillian hopping around the room in a state of utter excitement. Brenda looked up at Jax and sighed. "What is going on here? Jillian looks like she did the time she and Jerry ate half a bag of those pixie sticks and she bounced off the walls for the entire afternoon from sugar shock."

Jillian was shaking as she clapped her hands together. "Mommy your surprise is the sooo good."

"Mommy has to get ready first." Jax laid Brenda down on the couch. "Jillian, are you ready?"

"Ready!" Jillian picked up Brenda's hairbrush and scrambled over to the couch. "I'm making you pretty Mommy." She then began brushing Brenda's hair.

Before Brenda could open her mouth, Jax reached into his pocket and pulled out her onyx and diamond choker. He fastened it around Brenda's neck and then Jillian took the perfume atomizer from her pocket and sprayed Brenda. Jillian stepped back from the couch and smiled. "Mommy looks so pretty."

Jax nodded his head in agreement. "She certainly does."

Brenda looked at both Jax and Jillian as if they were nuts. Somehow a terrycloth robe, a cotton pajama set, satin bedroom slippers and a diamond choker did not strike her as attractive especially couple with the fact that she had been in bed for three days. "Okay, what is going on here?"

"Your surprise." Jax then lifted Brenda into this arms again and headed out of the living room toward the den.

"Hurry Daddy," Jillian squealed as she raced ahead of him.

Brenda could not see much as Jax carried her into the darkened den but she knew that furniture had been moved. Jax laid her on the couch and then led Jillian over to her.

Giddy laughter erupted from Jillian as moved closer to Brenda. "Mommy, wait till you see your surprise."

Brenda shook her head as her eyes adjusted to the dark room. "Jax, what did you do?"

"You'll see." Jax kissed Brenda in the middle of her forehead and then took pressed the tiny bouquet of flowers into Jillian's hand. He snapped his fingers and called out, "Lights please."

When the lights came on, Brenda did a double take. With the exception of the couch, all of the furniture had been pushed against the back wall and in the front of the room, there sat a huge curtained stage. Jax could only grin at the stunned look on Brenda's face as she laid on the couch.

"Mommy, these are for you." Jillian then handed her the small white flowers and curtsied.

"Edelweiss?" Brenda's mouth was slightly agape as she looked at Jax. "You couldn't have?"

Her attention then moved to the door as Emily and three of the other cast members from PCU's upcoming production of "The Sound of Music" then walked into the den. Emily walked over to Brenda and introduced her to Heather, Veronica, Nicholas and Duane who were cast as the characters of Louisa, Brigitta, Friedrich, and Kurt, respectively. Brenda was still slightly stunned as Emily touched her hand. "I know you can't be there for Opening Night, but we are happy to help Jax give you the chance to see part of the show. "

Brenda's eyes misted over as she looked at Jax. He was never going to stop amazing her. "I don't know what to say."

Jax shook his head. "The look on your face says it all. You're beaming."

Emily smiled at the sight of Jax and Brenda and then leaned down to talk to Jillian. "Are you ready to help with the prince?"

"Yeah," Jillian squealed in excitement. "Just like Gretel in the story."

"Yes, just like Gretel," Emily said with a nod. "And you can help your mommy sing with us too."

Jillian followed Emily and the other performers behind the curtain while Jax covered Brenda with an afghan and then turned on the orchestra accompaniment for the show. He then sat down on the end of the couch and took Brenda's hand as the performance began.

At the sound of Emily's request for the curtain, Jillian pulled the cord and the show began with the sound of Emily's voice as Maria and the appearance of the alpine marionette.

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd,

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd,

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Emily continued to sing while Veronica and Heather worked the ensemble of marionettes.

Folks in a town that was quite remote heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

Lusty and clear from the goatherd's throat heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

The voices of Heather, Veronica, Nicholas and Duane resounded through the room as the background scene changed on stage.

O ho lay dee odl lee o, o ho lay dee odl ay

O ho lay dee odl lee o, lay dee odl lee o lay

Emily cued Jillian. "Okay Jillian, the prince."

Jillian beamed as she pushed the figurine of the prince onto the stage.

A prince on the bridge of a castle moat heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

As Jillian scurried around the front of the stage, the male voices were heard.

Men on a road with a load to tote heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Men in the midst of a table d'hote heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

Brenda hugged Jillian as they watched the scene change and new marionettes appear. Emily's voice began again.

Men drinking beer with a foam afloat heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

As she had seen in the movie, Jillian coughed simultaneously with Emily and then giggled as the sound of the trumpets from the orchestra accompaniment were heard. Trumpeting marionettes marched across the stage and Jax could not help smiling at the expressions on Brenda and Jillian's faces as the moved along with the music.

One little girl in a pale pink coat heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

She yodeled back to the lonely goatherd

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Soon her mama with a gleaming coat heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

What a duet for a girl and goatherd

A chorus of voices was heard and the marionettes waltzed together on stage.

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Ummmmm

Odl lay ee (odl lay hee hee)

Odl lay eeole le ole

Emily and Veronica alternated providing the voices for the next several measures of the music as the Jillian's favorite blonde marionette twirled on stage.

One little girl in a pale pink coat heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hoo hoo

She yodeled back to the lonely goatherd

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Soon her mama with a gleaming gloat heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hmm hmm

What a duet for a girl and goatherd

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

The yodeling began and Jillian sat there mesmerized by the voices and the marionettes on stage.

Happy are they, lay dee olay dee lee o

Soon the duet will become a trio

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-loo

Brenda and Jillian joined in to sing with the ensemble of voices and Jax could not keep his eyes off the illumination on Brenda's face.

Odl lay ee, odl lay ee

Odl lay hee hee, odl lay ee

Odl lay odl lay, odl lay odl lee, odl lay odl lee

Odl lay odl lay odl lay

Jillian rubbed her hands together and shouted out as the last line of the song came.

HOO!

The resounding applause of Jax and Brenda met Emily and her fellow cast members as they exited the stage. Jax helped Jillian of the sofa and she handed bouquets of red roses to Emily, Heather and Veronica and then curtsied. Emily and her friends curtsied in return and Nicholas and Duane bowed to the exuberant audience. The special performance was indeed that.

Jillian scampered back to the couch. "Mommy, wasn't your surprise sooo good?"

Brenda caught her breath and nodded as she squeezed Jax's hand. "Yes, it was sooo good. Just like everything I have now."

Jax kissed the top of Brenda's head and Jillian crawled between them on the couch and hugged each of them. It was yet another night of rave reviews in the Jacks household.

To be continued

SONG CREDITS: "The Lonely Goatherd" by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II