by Laura K
Hey Audrey...I didn't forget.."wink"
Hope you all enjoy this latest installment..
I hope to get part B typed tomorrow...
Laura K
____________________
Ingo and I had decided to grab a couple of sandwiches and head over to the
park in order to take advantage of the rest of this beautiful day.
We sat at a picnic table and made small talk while we ate. Ingo told me about his television appearance earlier.
As we ate, I noticed several women begin to stroll back and forth along the path in front of us. And their numbers were growing.
They were trying to look nonchalant, but it was obvious what they were up to.
"You seem to be attracting some attention." I said to Ingo with a move of my head in the direction of the passersby.
He glanced over at them, and then smiled and shrugged.
"Yes, well I bet half of them are trying to figure out if its really me, and the other half are sure it is, and still can't believe it." He informed me with a humorous smirk.
"Does it make you uncomfortable?" I ask seriously. "We could leave..."
"No. Its o.k. In fact...if you don't mind, I think I'll stroll on over and say hello. Maybe after that they will leave us alone."
"Yes, I'm sure that will be what happens." I sad with a laugh.
He looked at me with a somewhat puzzled expression.
"Does he really have no idea what a disturbance he causes in the hearts and minds of women?" I thought incredilously.
"No, I don't mind." I finally added. "It's good PR for you at the very least, and I am most certain it will make their day...probably their year.." I added with a giggle.
He rolled his eyes, and then swung his legs over the bench and stood.
I watched him approach them...his hair blowing carelessly in the breeze...all casual confidence and glorious energy....
God he was beautiful to watch.
As he neared the group, I heard a woman scream..
"Oh My God!!! It is Jax!!!!"
"No, his name is Ingo..." I thought sweetly to myself.
______
It was amazing to watch him work that crowd. He was laughing and joking with the ladies, and they all appeared to be mezmerized by him.
One of the women turned to me a moment and stared. I simply smiled and waved.
She just turned back to Ingo.
It didn't take long for a woman to reach into her purse and find pen and paper, and pretty quickly Ingo was in the middle of a flurry of autograph signings.
I watched the entire exchange with humor and amazement.
Ingo was so in his element with them...his flashing eyes and develish grin
obvious even from this distance.
I knew exactly what those ladies were feeling.
I still feel it everytime I look into those eyes...
He spent a few minutes more with them, and then turned and headed back to me.
"You look just as good going as you did coming!" One of the women called after him.
I saw the slight blush creep into his cheeks, but he simply smiled and turned and waved one last time.
As he slid back into the bench across from me, I couldn't help but stare.
His eyes were twinkling merrily, and his hair was blown around his face.
He looked so completely and totally pleased with himself.
His cheshire cat grin took my breathe away.
I reached across the table and took his hand.
"It was very nice of you to do that." I said softly.
He shrugged, slightly embarrassed.
"I am smart enough to know that it is my fans who help keep me in the forefront of my business. I figure it doesn't hurt to give them a little recognition and show them some kindness in return for that support."
I just smiled and nodded.
"Why does his thoughtfulness even suprise me anymore?" I wondered to myself.
I glanced over and noticed that the women had not dispersed at all, but continued to stand around staring at us.
Ingo followed my gaze and then said, "I guess I was wrong...looks like we are going to have to head back to your place if we are going to get any privacy."
I nodded my head in agreement, and gathered my purse and stood.
As I came around the table, Ingo slid his arm around my waist and pulled me close.
As we passed the group of fans, he waved politely.
They called out good-byes and thank-yous as we headed for my car.
______________
We got back to the apartment, and I quickly changed into jeans and a tshirt to get comfortable.
I headed for the kitchen.
"Want a beer?" I called to Ingo as I grabbed myself one.
"Sure" he answered.
So I grabbed two and headed onto the patio.
We both just sat quietly and enjoyed the warm sun and the breeze for awhile.
I sipped my beer for a few minutes, knowing somehow that now was the time to tell him about Jared, and trying to find the courage.
"Ingo?" I finally said quietly.
He glanced at me questioningly.
There was such warmth in his eyes.
"It will be fine.." I said encouragingly to myself.."trust him...trust yourself..."
"I need to tell you about Jared now."
He simply nodded, and then looked into my eyes, reassuring me in his own way that it would be o.k....
"Jared and I were...were 'involved' several years ago." I began.
And the whole ugly story spilled out.
I told him about the relationship. How it was more of an obsession than anything. I told him about the abuse, both physical and mental. I explained that somehow I had thought I had deserved that tratment.
And finally, I told him how Jared had left me, in tears on the floor...declaring me no longer worthy of his affection, with a bleeding lip and a heart full of pain and anguish.
I then explained how I for months tried to put the relationship back together, and when Jared finally convinced me he would have nothing more to do with me, how I had stuffed all the pain, all the emotions, all the feelings deep inside and closed the door on them.
"And now all those feelings are coming back to haunt me. I have to deal with them if I am ever going to be free of Jared." I said quietly.
I was barely whispering by the end of my story, and my eyes were wet with tears. When I was finally able to look up at Ingo, his eyes were shimmering with tears of their own.
"I can't even begin to know what you are feeling." he said hoarsely. "But I do know that what you just told me was not something you deserved. It's not something anyone would deserve."
He reached his hand out to me and I took it gratefully.
He pulled me into his lap. I moved to him eagerly.
"I am so sorry baby." he said softly as he hugged me to him.
I sighed with relief..relief that the truth was finally out, relief that Ingo and I were going to be o.k.
"Its not your fault." I whispered in response.
"I know. But I am sorry just the same." he said. "I am unable to even comprehend a man treating a woman the way you have just described. It is undeniably cruel." he said sadly.
He hugged me tighter then, and I began to cry harder.
I began to cry out all the anger and frustration and pain I had kept bottled up inside for far too long.
And Ingo simply held me tenderly, comfortingly, and let me cry.
As my sobs finally subsided, I laid my head gently on his strong shoulder...
and drifted off to sleep...
Safe in his arms.
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Awake for a Dream / Part 18-B
I awoke with a start in my own bed and the changing light told me that the
sun was now setting.
I stretched for a moment, and sighed. I haven' t felt this relaxed in a long time....
I crawled out of the bed and eagerly went looking for Ingo.
I noticed he had the stereo playing....
"Savage Garden" I realized.."Good choice."
I found Ingo still sitting out on the patio, looking relaxed and so comfortable.
I walked up behind him and slid my hands down over his shoulders and across his chest, kissing the top of his head.
He smiled up at me.
"Hey there sleeping beauty." he said softly.
"Sorry about falling asleep on you." I mumbled apologetically.
"Not to worry. I've just been sitting out here enjoying the evening."
He said softly and he raised his bottle of beer to me.
I noticed the twinkle in his eye then.
"Are you catching a buzz?" I said with a giggle.
"Hmmmm, may be..." he said with a smile as he pulled me around him and into his lap once again.
"Don't leave without me." I said with a humerous smirk as I grabbed the bottle from his hand and took a sip.
"Hey! That's the last one." he said in mock defense as he snatched it back.
I laughed and crawled from his lap.
"Now that is something I know how to remedy." I said with a grin.
I grabbed my purse and headed down to the corner store.
"Be right back." I called to him as I walked out the door.
"I'll be right here.." he called in response.
*Lucky me..*
___________
I stuck the beer in the fridge, grabbing two for Ingo and I and heading back to the patio.
I turned the stereo up a little as I passed it.
Ingo wasn't there, so I set his beer down next to his chair and leaned against the railing.
As the music reached me, I sighed and closed my eyes...
"Any time I need to see your face,
I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place where
your crystal mind....
* This song always makes me think of Ingo, and now he is here with me as I feel it..*
I don't need to try and explain;
I just hold on tight
and if it happens again,
I might move so slightly
To the arms and the lips and the face....
Ingo came up behind me then, wrapping his arms around me. He swayed gently to the music, and leaned down to sing softly in my ear.
Come stand a little bit closer
Breathe in and get a bit higher
You'll never know what hit you
when I get to you...
"Don't I know it" I thought to myself, as the feel of his body pressed to mine began to take its toll on me.
Ooh, I want you
I don't know if I need you
But Ooh, I'd die to find out
Ooh, I want you
I don't know if I need you
But ooh, I'd die to find out.
I turned in his arms, and looked up into those mezmerizing, passionate, enticing eyes....
I'm the kind of person who endorses
a deep commitment
Getting comfy getting perfect
is what I live for
But a look, then a smell of perfume
It's like I'm down on the floor
and I don't know what I'm in for...
* Oh, but I think you do Ingo....*
Conversation has a time and place
in the interaction of a lover and a mate
but the time of talking,
using symbols, using words..
That was all I could stand, and I leaned up...
Ingo lowered his lips to mine and began to kiss me gently...
As the music played on, the kiss grew more passionate.
I pulled back and looked up at him as the music ended...and took his hand and led him inside..
As the next song began to play...he pulled me close and we began to sway once again to the music. This time it was me who looked up and began to whisper gently to the song...
I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breathe
truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
Cause I'm counting on
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning too...
I could control the passion no longer...
I pushed him gently back towards the couch, and as he sat I straddled him, leaning forward to kiss him again.
Our mouths met in a fiery embrace...tongues interacting, passion raging out of control...
I pulled back momentarily, and ran my hands down to the edge of his sweater.
* I have to touch him...*
He leaned forward obligingly and pulled his sweater swiftly over his head, tossing it aside...
I gazed at him in silent adoration.
I reached out and ran my hands softly over the broad smooth expanse of his chest.
He trembled.
"I believe you are trying to take advantage of me." he whispered softly.
"You better believe it" I said in a throaty whisper of my own, and then leaned in to kiss him yet again.
The warm, sweet, fiery heat of his mouth, the gentle insistent delving of his tongue, were quickly driving me into a frenzy.
My passion knew no bounds now...I only knew that I wanted him...
I began to kiss down his chin, down over his throat, stopping momentarily at the hollow at the base of his neck, reveling in the feel of his pounding pulse there.
My kisses trailed lower, across his chest, and as I kissed his smooth golden skin, I slid from his lap to my knees on the floor.
I reached for the button of his jeans....
...and someone knocked at the door.
"They will go away" I whispered hoarsely, unable to distract my mind from the immediate task at hand...
Ingo groaned and reached for my hands as I continued to struggle with the button. My passionate impatience making me fubble.
Finally I released the button.
I began to lower the zipper, leaning forward as I did so....
I heard the front door open, and looked up startled at Ingo.
"My, My, My..." a voice reached me from behind "Looks like your a little busy aren't you?"
Jared.
I looked up at Ingo helplessly as Jared cleared his throat and continued.
"Guess I shouldn't be too suprised to find you like this." He said bitterly. "Once a bitch, always a bitch, right darling?"
The bitter and cutting tone of his voice cut right through me.
I looked up at Ingo, and saw the color drain from his eyes. They
became
steely...cold and angry.
I sat back on my heels and wrapped my arms around me.
Ingo stood.
The silence of just those few seconds was almost deafening, and I finally looked up once again at Ingo.
He stood there in nothing but a pair of half zipped jeans, and his body trembled slightly in his rage. His fists were clenched, and his jaws were clenched as well.
But when he spoke, his voice was in perfect control. Calm, ernest, commanding.
"I believe" he said with an icy clip."That you owe her an apology for that remark."
I finally found the courage then to look at Jared.
What I saw suprised me...shocked me actually.
There was fear in Jared's eyes.
I drifted back momentarily to a recent conversation with Debbie.
"Most abusers are actually cowards." She had told me. "They feel helpless or out of control in most aspects of their lives, so they exert undue control over the one thing they can control."
For the first time, I understood what she meant.
Jared was truly a coward.
My fear vanished. A new courage gripped me.
I moved to stand beside Ingo.
Jared and Ingo continued to stare silently at each other.
"An apology" Ingo reminded quietly.
Jared could no longer tolerate the intensity of Ingo's gaze, and he dropped his eyes.
"I'm sorry" he mumbled in a whisper.
Ingo started to speak, and I gently touched his arm and shook my head no.
*This is something I need to do.*
He nodded acceptance, but did not take his eyes from Jared.
"No, I doubt that you are." I said quietly. "But it doesn't really matter."
Jared looked up at me then, trying to cower me with a piercing gaze. It was ineffectual though...partly because he kept nervously shifting his eyes to Ingo, who still had not moved.
I knew then that whatever hold Jared had once had on me was gone...
"How did you get in here?" I questioned.
He held up a key. The one he had gotten so long agao...in that other lifetime...I had forgotten he had it.
"Give it to me" I said softly.
Jared hesitated.
Ingo cleared his throat quietly.
Jared handed me the key.
I turned and handed it to Ingo, and then walked to the front door.
I held it open for Jared.
"Now leave." I said softly. "Leave and don't ever come back. Don't
call me, don't contact me in any way. Is that clear?"
He looked to me, then to Ingo, and then said quietly. "Sure..whatever." and moved swiftly out the door.
I slammed it behind him.
I stood there in a daze for a moment, then my knees gave out and I started to fall.
Ingo caught me and gently lowered me to the floor.
I began to laugh and cry at the same time, on the verge of hysterics.
Ingo simply slid behind me, pulling me back against him and hugging me tightly.
I began to cry over and over...
"I'm free...I really am free..."
Ingo whispered softly as he held me close.."Yes you are baby...you really are..."
And he held me in the strong circle of his arms.
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END Part 18