The Night Lestat Fell In Joey's Pool by Heather & Ashley

"Oh no! What about my girlies!" Joe said to himself as he sat the empty bottle he was holding onto a nearby table. He staggered over to his computer and looked over it. Now how was he supposed to get this thing started? He started pushing random buttons until the screen came on. As soon as his computer was started he scanned the icons. He looked for the word "girlies", but couldn't find it. Then he saw a picture of a dog. Maybe it represented all the nasty girlies he had met... not the nice ones. He clicked on the icon and it took him to the 101 Dalmations Storybook.

Joe screamed when he saw tons of dogs barking at him. Then... oh no! It was Cruella De Vil! "AAAHHHH! Evil-Lyn took over my computer!" Joe screamed. He ran to hide behind the couch until she was gone. When she was, he crawled back to the computer and, after many attempts, finally made it out of 101 Dalmations and back to the main screen.

Joe looked over the icons once again. Hmm... mIRC. What did that stand for. Joe tried his best to think for a moment. He finally figured it out. mIRC= my Icredibly Rad Chics! He clicked on the icon. He was happy with his decision until he saw the first window pop up. It was the window about the mIRC author. Joe stared at the picture... "Oh no!" he thought, "It's a possessed Donnie coming to get me!" Joe ran out the back door and into the backyard. He was so freaked out (and not to mention drunk) that he fell in his pool as he was looking for a place to hide. Luckily, he fell into the shallow end. He started to wade out... the wrong way. As he reached the edge of the pool, Joe hit his head on the diving board... causing him to momentarily forget everything. Then he remembered his girlies... he would get to his girlies... even if he had to fight dogs and a possessed Donnie.

Out of the darkness, Joe spotted a figure coming toward him. It was Jonathan, but Joe didn't know that. Joe thought it was a vampire. Jonathan went over to help Joe out of the pool. As he reached out, Joe grabbed Jon's arm and pulled him in. Joe had just watched Interview With The Vampire a few hours ago. He suddenly realized who this guy was... it was the real Lestat! Joe pushed Jon under the water... attempting to drown him. Jon broke free and came up to slap Joe. "What's wrong with you?!?" Jon shouted. Joe slapped him back... knocking Jon unconcious. As Jon started to sink to the bottom of the pool, Joe realized who it really was. Joe began to spazz... he thought he'd killed Jon.

Joe dragged Jon out of the pool. The only thing he could think of to do was hide the body. He knew the perfect spot... underneath his bed. He knew that he ought to give him mouth to mouth, but he really didn't want to. He might later... after he found his girlies. That's it! The girlies could be his alliby. Yeah! He was talking to the girlies, he couldn't possibly have done it.

He hid the body and ran over to his computer. He was finally able to get rid of the possessed Donnie. Then he had to enter a name. As hard as he tried, Joe was unable to remember his name. All he could remember was that he was some sort of famous music star. The only name he could think of to type in was Jon Killer. Then he realized that he had no idea what the name of the room was. He looked through a list of channels. "Hmm... #beatles" he thought, "I know they were some kind of famous musical group. Maybe I was one of them."

Joe entered #beatles. The first thing he typed in was: I didn't really mean to kill him. The Beatles fans went nuts... YOU KILLED JOHN?!?!? Joe typed: I didn't mean to... Then someone named Strawberry Fields typed in: Is this Yoko Ono?? Joe thought for a moment... maybe his name was Yoko Ono. "Geez," he thought, "what was my mother (whoever she is) thinking?"

Joe typed in: What group was Yoko Ono in? After this, he was kicked out of #beatles. Where do I go from here? Joe wondered. Joe decided that maybe... maybe... he should look for clues. He walked over to a stack of CDs. He grabbed the one on top of the stack. But before he could look at it, the doorbell rang. "Oh no!" he screamed, "the cops!" Joe took the CD and ran to hide in the pantry.

As Joe hid in the pantry, the doorbell continued to ring. He looked down at the CD... it didn't say Yoko anywhere. The name on the CD was Joey Lawrence. Joe thought for a moment... could he be a Joey? The doorbell stopped ringing and Joe heard the door opening. He grabbed some tin cans. Jordan walked into the house, "Um... is anyone here? I'm looking for Jonathan."

Joe thought to himself, "They know... the cops are here b/c they know I killed him. Good thing I hid the body where they can't find it." Joe ran out of the pantry and began to throw the tin cans at Jordan. "What the..." Jordan yelled as the cans pegged him in the head. Joe continued to chunk the cans and Jordan passed out onto the floor.

Just then, Joe realized that it wasn't the cops... it was Jordan."Oh no!" he screamed, "I killed another one!" He knew what he had to do... Jordan wouldn't fit under the couch, so Joe hid him in the pantry.

Joe walked back to the stack of CDs. "I still don't think I look like a Joey," he commented to himself. He picked up another CD... hmm... Frank Sinatra- Strangers In The Night. Could his name be Stranger? Before he had time to ponder this, the doorbell rang again. Joe went to open the door. It was Donnie.

"Hey, man," Donnie said, "I'm hungry! Mom hid all the junk food so I decided to come over and see what I could find in the pantry." Joe thinks... at least he tries... he could throw a bottle at this guy... no the stuff is too precious to waste.

Donnie headed to the pantry. Joe watched as he opened the door and Jordan fell out on him. Donnie screamed, "What the..." Donnie looked at Joe, "Joe, what have you done?" Joe thought for a moment, "I guess I am this Joey Lawrence person." Joe decided that he was and took out the CD. But he didn't put it in the CD player, he put it in the record player.

Donnie was worried about Jordan and carried him to Joe's bed. As he approached the bed, Donnie felt himself step on something. He looked down to see that he had stepped on a hand. Donnie screamed and dropped Jordan to the floor. He slowly bent down and looked under the bed to see Jon lying unconcious.

Donnie turned to see Joe standing in the doorway. "Joe, what have you been doing?" asked Donnie. Joe shouted at him, "I didn't kill John Lennon, okay?"

Donnie dragged Jon out from under the bed. Then Joe realized that Donnie knew too much... he took out his electric drill and looked for good places to make holes. Then his mind started to wonder... what could be wrong with the CD? Joe knew he put the needle on it. Hmm... maybe it was on the wrong speed.

Donnie saw Joe standing there with the electric drill and started cracking up. He laughed even harder when he saw Joe struggling to learn how to use it. Joe was frustrated and tossed the drill aside. He left the room to go and see about the CD. He just knows he put it in the record player right... this was too much, he needed another drink.

Meanwhile, Donnie stayed in Joe's bedroom and looked from Jordan to Jon. He didn't know what to do. He picked up the phone and called Danny. Donnie told him about the situation, but Danny didn't have any idea what to do either. He decided to come over and see if he could help.

Joe had just finished with another bottle when he heard the door opening. Joe ran and hid under a glass table. As Danny came into the room, he noticed Joe under the table. Joe began to laugh... Danny couldn't see him... he'd hidden real good this time. From Joe's bedroom, Donnie yelled at Danny to come over there. Just then the screen saver on Joe's computer went off. Oh no! It was the Tickle Me Elmo screen saver Donnie had installed. Joe heard the evil laugh and screamed from under the table. Danny looked at Joe like he was an idiot and moved the mouse to make the screen saver stop.

Donnie started to get impatient and yelled at Danny again. Danny went into Joe's bedroom, leaving Joe still under the table. Danny told Donnie to check for Jordan and Jon's pulses. He did so and determined that they were both fine... just unconcious. Well, Jordan might have some internal injuries, but he'll be okay.

In the living room, Joe crept out from under the table... he had to get to his girlies. Joe thought he was being sneaky about getting back to the computer while singing the Mission Impossible theme. Joe was being very loud and this caused Jordan to wake up. Jordan is pissed at Joe for throwing things at him so he went and grabbed the Tickle Me Elmo from Donnie's white van.

Jordan ran into the living room and stood between Joe and the computer. He tickled the Elmo and showed it to Joe. Oh no... the evil laughter. Joe started to totally spazz. Joe yelled, "I AM JOEY LAWRENCE!" as he ran across the room. The rest of the guys looked around completely confused.

Joe approached Jordan laptop. He began to lift the screen as Jordan grabbed it away. "Leave my laptop out of this!" Jordan yelled. Joe ran over to the other computer... Oh no! Elmo again. He frantically grabbed the mouse and clicked on mIRC. He made his way into #beatles again still using the name Jon Killer. He typed: Was Joey Lawrence one of them? This time he was kicked and banned.

During all of this, Jon had woken up. He walked into the living room. Joe saw him and freaked... Jon... the guy he killed... is awake... maybe it was Lestat! Jon made eye contact with Joe and started to approach him. As he did, Joe yelled, "Please don't hurt me, Mr. Lestat! I don't wanna be a vampire... I get really queezy when I see blood." Jon just stood there confused.

Joe looked over at Danny, "Louis!" Donnie walked over to Jordan, "Do you still think I need that white van?" "Hell yes!" Jordan told Donnie.

Joe looked back at Jon, "Really, I didn't mean to kill you... I was gonna save you... later... when I got around to it... I had to talk to my girlies first." Then Joe looked over at the computer. He saw the opening window for mIRC. Then he looked over at Donnie and back at the screen. "The demon!!!" Joe screamed, "It's the IRC author demon!" He looked at Jordan, "Armond!!! Hmm... I thought you would look more like Antonio Banderas."

Jordan noticed a bottle by the computer... he started to figure everything out. Then the screen saver went off again. Joe screamed and looked for a place to hide. The glass table seemed to work good... so he hid under it again. The other guys all started to walk over toward him. "AAAHHHH!!! They have X-ray vision! They're coming to get me!!!" Joe yelled from under the table.

From under the table, Joe started actually crying. Jordan moved in a little closer, "Um... maybe you should go to bed. You can talk to the girlies tomorrow." Joe screamed at him, "No way! You just want me to go to bed so that you can turn me into a vampire! I can't stand the sight of blood! Nah... nah... you can't do this to me!"

Jordan looked at the other guys, hoping they might offer a suggestion. Donnie headed toward the kitchen. Danny didn't know what to do, "Uh... Joe..."

"MY NAME IS JOEY!" he screamed. Donnie entered the room again... carrying a trout. He took the trout and beat Joe with it until he was knocked unconcious... which didn't take long. They all dragged him to the bedroom and let him sleep till moring when he would be sober. The next morning, Joe didn't remember any of it... but still cringes at the laugh of a Tickle Me Elmo.