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DOUGH... the stuff, that buys me beer
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer
ME....... the one, who drinks the beer
FAR..... a long run to get beer
SO...... I'll have another beer
LA...... I'll have another beer
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to DOUGH.....
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.
Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honorable discharge.
Baseball very funny game.... man with 4 balls no really can walk!
Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
He who pull a fast one leave rubber behind.
He who enter door sideways going to bankok.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, Wise man give wife upright organ.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling nuts.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.
Man who fart in church, sit in his own pew.
Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
Man who jizz in cash register come into money.
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
Man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.
Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Learn to masturbate--come in handy.
Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.
Man who buy drowned cat must pay for wet pussy.
Virgin like balloon--one prick, all gone.
10. It's legal to play hockey professionally
9. The puck is always hard.
8. The protective equipment is reusable, and you don't even have to wash it.
7. It lasts a full hour.
6. You know you're finished when the buzzer sounds.
5. Your parents cheer when you score.
4. A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon.
3. Periods last only 20 min.
2. You can count on it at least twice a week.
1. You can tell your friends about it afterwards
A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland.
When the man tells her it will be $300.
She exclaims.."I don't have any money.. but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland"!!!!
To that the man asks "Anything"??
And the blonde says "yes.. Anything"!! With that, the man says "Follow me."
..He walks into the next room and tells her "Come in and close the door."
..She complies.
He then says "Get on your knees"..She complies. He then says take down my zipper"..She complies... He then says "Go ahead... Take my penis out."
With that, she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands!!
The man then says "Well.. Go ahead"!!...
She brings her mouth closer to it,
and while holding his penis close to her lips.. She says
"HELLO, MOM"????
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who never knew he was kneaded. Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children and one in the oven.
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves".
An older gentleman was standing at a bus stop, observing a young man with orange, green, and blue spiked hair. After a few moments, the young man said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild?"
The old man smiled and said, "Well, yes. I once screwed a parrot, and I was wondering if you might be my son . .
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed.
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."
Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked.
"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
Three young candidates for the priesthood are told by the Monsignor they have to pass one more test: The Celibacy Test. The Monsignor leads them into a room, and tells them to undress, and a small bell is tied to each man's penis.
In comes a beautiful woman, wearing a sexy belly-dancer costume. She begins to dance sensually around the first candidate.
*Ting-a-ling*
"Oh, Patrick," says the Monsignor, "I am so disappointed in your lack of control. Go take a long, cold shower and pray about your carnal weakness." The candidate leaves.
The dancer continues, dancing around the second candidate, slowly peeling off her layers of veils. As the last veil drops:
"Joseph, Joseph," sighs the Monsignor. "You too are unable to withstand your carnal desires. Go take a long, cold shower and pray for forgiveness."
The dancer continues, dancing naked in front of the final candidate.
Nothing. She writhes up and down against his body. No response. Finally, exhausted, she quits.
"Michael, my son, I am truly proud of you," says the Monsignor. "Only you have the true strength of character needed to become a priest. Now, go and join your weaker brothers in the showers."
* Ting-a-ling*
If you have any suggestions or comments, feel free to email me at Robokevman: Crime Prevention Unit / robokevman@geocities.com
This Homepage Was Last Updated On Wednesday, March 5th, 1997.
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