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Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"
Yo momma so poor she uses her only tooth as a can opener.
Yo momma so poor she has to receive two welfare checks per month!
Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo momma so poor she has her own charity named after her.
Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo momma so poor scholars believe she invented the phrase "Spare a Quarter?"
Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo momma so poor even the bums on the street look down on her.
Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard.
Yo momma so poor cab drivers ask for their fares up front.
Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
A week after their marriage, the blonde newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor. "I can't figure it out Doc, my testicles are turning blue."
The doctor examined him and confirmed the unusual condition.
He asked the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm I prescribed ?"
"Yes." she replied.
"And what kind of jelly are you using ?" the doctor then asked.
"Grape." she said.
The friends of the bride decided to give the newlyweds a tape recording of the couple making love on their honeymoon night as a gag wedding gift. They accomplished this by hiding a tape recording under the newlywed's bed that evening.
Before they gave the recorded tape to her, they played the tape and heard her moaning to her new husband, "That's happiness! That's happiness!" But her voice sounded funny and they discovered that they were playing the tape at the wrong speed.
When they slowed the tape down to the correct pitch, they were surprised to hear her shouting at him, "That's a penis?! That's a penis?!"
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.
The father replies, "Well, you see that 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.
The son then asks his father, "What's the 6 pack for?"
The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning."
Then the son asks his father what the 12 pack is for. The father replies, "Oh, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March...
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas.
A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze.
When they come to the extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz.
They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting people their wishes.
Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
Clinton with a grin speaks up, "Hmmm... where's Dorothy?"
How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
There is a stamp on it.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.
What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a blonde track team?
The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.
What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?"
The nympho says "Are you done already?"
The blonde says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
Your job still sucks after 6 months.
What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
Not everybody has been in a limo.
Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.
Why did the blonde get fired from the "M&M" factory?
She kept throwing out the W's.
Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
Puts her clothes on and goes home.
What does a blonde call Safe Sex?
Padded Headboards.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but she gets four credits for it.
Why was the blonde staring at the carton of orange juice?
It said, "Concentrate."
What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
You don't know how much either of them means to you until they go down on you.
What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
The 1984 Hide-and-Seek World Champion.
Why did Sherwin Williams name their new paint color "Blonde"?
Because it's not too bright, and easy to spread.
Why do blondes in San Francisco wear long skirts?
Because if they wore short skirts, their balls would show.
A man and his wife were driving through Arkansas on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump.
"What can I do fer ya'll?" asks the attendant.
"Fill her up with high test," replies the driver.
While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. "What kinda car is dat?" he asks, "I never seen one like it befer."
"Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "this my boy is a 1997 Cadillac DeVille."
"What all it got in it?" asks the attendant.
"Well," says the driver, "It has everything. It has power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine."
"Wow," says the attendant, "thata be something."
"How much do I owe you for the gasoline?" asks the driver.
"Thata be $30.17," says the attendant.
The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are golf tees.
"What dem little wooden things?" asks the attendant.
"That's what I put my balls on when I drive," says the driver.
"Wow," says the attendant, "dem Cadillac people think of everything.
If you have any suggestions or comments, feel free to email me at Robokevman: Crime Prevention Unit / robokevman@geocities.com
This Homepage Was Last Updated On Tuesday, September 23rd, 1997.
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