PETER GOFTON (JOHNNY X)


Guitarist of the lead variaty


NAME:You already know now, Peter Gofton
AGE:23 (Libra)
HAIR:blonde-but with gingerish facial-type hair. (Oh what a vocabulary have I!!)
ROLE:Lead giutar, was drums
HEIGHT:Shorter than Lauren, poor mite
HAS: A girlfriend who I think is called Debbie. She's shorter than him and tres nice. And a Danelectro guitar which I want.
SKILLS:No idea now, but he used to be a member of the rare breed, Comedy Drummer

Pete is the older brother of our dear Lauren and (as most older brothers are) her childhood tormentor.
The story is a well known one, but I shall relay it anyway.
When Lauren was but a small lass sitting in the back of the car with Pete. This isn't working, tell you what, I'll give you the story in her own words.

Umm.. when I was little, my brother used to. Like y'know when you're in the back of the car with your brother, my big brother. And he's on the other side. And like you're going "arrgh,(Does shoulder nudging motion)that's my side." and all that, right? And, like, to get on my nerves he used to ,like, lean right across and sing that song, [Turning Japanese, by the Vapours] in a really Demonic voice. In me ears and pretend to be...You know the Terrahawks? Y'know the baby off Terrahawks that used to change gender? Well I was really scared of that and he used to pretend to be that.
Mark Lamaar:Do the Voice
Lauren: [in voice]Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese. I was reaaly scared. I was a 4yr old Catholic child-I was scared of the devil..
Mark: And the devil was the lead singer of the Vapours?
So there you have it. Pete was one evil child.

Peter rarely turns up for interviews, often plainly refusing to do them, giving such excuses as being busy or buried under the patio. But he is by no means a defunct member. Co-writing classics like Punka, and writing Packed In all on his todd.
But writing Punka fro him must have been a painful time. Pete is a self-confessed Lo-Fi lover.

He is the only member to use his real name.

Poor old Pete is also a chronic asthmatic (Not a well family-eh) and he and the rest of the band have to carry inhalers around with them, just in case.

The Goftons only ever spawn brainy offspring, as Pete has a degree in Sociology.

He sometimes drums live for Mogwai and Arab Strap, when they need, like, 30 bezzillion drummers or su'mit.

Peter has one alarming aspect to his personality though, he claims to be Frank Syntax, Australia's answer to Frank Sinatra. But if he has anyhting in common with the real one, Mr. Syntax will have popped his clogs by now.

I hope that Peters move to Lead Giutar will bring about a new Kenickie Era of brilliance. I also hope it will get him the recognition he deserves, and maybe he'll get a mic and be able to envelop us in his whitticism.
And if anyone could tell me I'd love to know why he carries around that bag with the Fonz badge on it. He never seems to be without it.

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© 1997 xdk42@dial.pipex.com


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