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        This is an official QUALITY TABS INC. TabFile
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This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation
of the song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship
or research.
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                SONG TITLE: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
              ARTIST/GROUP: Bloodhound Gang
                     ALBUM: One Fierce Beer Coaster
            TRANSCRIBED BY: qualitytabs@qualitytabs.tk
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CHORDS:
-------
     EADGBE          EADGBE
Bb5 (x13xxx)    E5  (x79xxx)
A5  (x02xxx)    Eb5 (x68xxx)
B5  (x24xxx)    C#5 (x46xxx)


Pretty funny song! All just basic power chords. Play the verses
palm-muted and use only downstrokes. Strum the chorus normally.
That's all you need to know. Enjoy!


INTRO:
------
[spoken:]
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter


VERSE 1:
--------
Bb5 A5               B5                       C#5             E5 B5
     My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
A5                          B5                          C#5
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
B5  A5                     B5                        E5
      I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
              Eb5  C#5            A5
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
                  B5 [stop]
I just wish I was queer so I could get


CHORUS:
-------
E5
Chicks dig guys that are
B5
Queer guys that don't dig
E5                              B5
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
                            A5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly


VERSE 2:
--------
A5            B5                        C#5                E5 B5
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
    A5                            B5                              C#5
Incognito as a gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
B5  A5                         B5                   E5
    Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
               Eb5  C#5                    A5
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
               B5                   C#5
Scoring with a super model would be easy


VERSE 3:
--------
             A5                          B5
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but also is synonomous with
  C#5          E5 B5
 'super dumb'
           A5                          B5
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and
C#5               B5
soon I'd become
A5                          B5                                      E5
   That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
               Eb5  C#5                         A5
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
             B5 [stop]
I wish I was queer so I could get


CHORUS:
-------
E5
Chicks dig guys that are
B5
Queer guys that don't dig
E5                              B5
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
                            A5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly


VERSE 4: [play like Verse 3]
--------
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get


BRIDGE:
-------
E5        C#5         C#5 B5 A5       Bb5 B5       B5 A5 C#5 Eb5
Chicks
E5        C#5         C#5 B5 A5       Bb5 B5       B5 A5 C#5 Eb5


VERSE 5: [play like Verse 3]
--------
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp
he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get


OUTRO:
------
C#5
Chicks dig guys that are
B5
Queer guys that don't dig
C#5
Chicks dig guys that are
E5         B5
Queer guys that don't dig
C#5
Chicks dig guys that are
B5
Queer guys that don't dig
C#5                             E5
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
            B5              C#5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
      B5
And I don't shave my heiny
C#5
Don't shave my heiny
E5            B5              C#5
  See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
      B5
And I don't shave my heiny
C#5
Don't shave my heiny
E5            B5              C#5
  See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
      B5
And I don't shave my heiny
C#5
Don't shave my heiny
E5            B5             C#5
  See I'm not queer I'm too ugly


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       Questions, comments, corrections, requests, send to:

                     qualitytabs@qualitytabs.tk
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                          www.qualitytabs.tk
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