Fan's Review written by Almitra
Concert Review from the Forum Theatre,
Melbourne, Australia
6th October 1999
Right, I know this might not worth shit compared to
all the better Suede encounters you might’ve
experienced, but for this moment only, will you stop
thinking about yourselves and listen to ME, the
unglamorous underdog for a change once? I know
you’re all the beautiful classy Suedesters, but to
me, this mere Suedexperience is more than a blessing
from 7th heaven!
Anyway, let’s get down to business now. As I was
told by the ticket-selling lady on September 1st
that the doors will be opened at exactly 8pm, I
arrived at the Forum 15 minutes before-and to my
surprise, the doors were ALREADY opened! From a
distance, I could already spot the trashy beautiful
ones-there was a blond version of BRETT, female
version of RICHARD, JUSTINE lookalikes even the
punky version of NEIL! As I stepped in after handing
in my tickets to the 2 fat blokes standing in front
of the main gate, my attention was all of a sudden
drawn to the cute little Suede shop on the left side
of the inner door-which connects the main lobby to
the concert hall. They sold Suede badges, T-shirts
and souvenir books-the T-shirts were priced about
A$30 each, bloody expensive, so I just ended up
buying the souvenir book for A$5. I then entered
the main hall and looked around at the lovers
undercovers, the Suedettes, the Sadies, the suburban
filmastars hand-in-hand together under the nuclear
sky of the Forum. Oh what an electric Wednesday
night that was! A bunch of people already conquered
the edge of the stage since they came WAY early.
However, I didn’t wanna surrender black and blue, so
I sneaked my way through the right front corner of
the stage-there, I’m sure I could get a perfect view
of Richie…ha!
I grew more and more anxious as it was already 15
minutes past 8 and there was no sign of anything to
start happening. I painstakingly gathered my last
supply of patience and waited there. At 8.20pm, the
supporting band came onstage, they were an Aussie
band called “Automatic” and they played for about 45
minutes. However, it felt like 45 hours. I just
stood there disinterested, frozen, staring blankly
at the stage while they played indifferently and I
thought, God, how much longer until Suede starts? I
bet my arse the rest of the crowd were thinking
exactly the same thing, ‘cos they looked just as
empty. Apparently, Suede were scheduled to play at
9.30. Fuck, still another ½ an hour. Finally, at
approximately 9.05pm, they went offstage, one of the
Automatic member saying “Hope you enjoy Suede, bye
now!”
Fucking well we will!
Problem is, that WASN’T the end of the torture. For
another 30 minutes or more, we had to watch some
lousy roadies loitering around setting up the stage.
Often, whenever I caught a glimpse I was ready to
cheer as I thought it was Neil. BAH! Meanwhile, the
speaker played about dozens of Sex Pistols song…and
I remembered BRETT said once on an Aussie radio
interview that that was one of the rituals before
they go onstage, listening to Sex Pistols, like a
“shot of adrenalin”…so I thought, hmmmm…..this might
be his request. Some of the people in front of me
were singing along. One Sex Pistols song after
another, and still nothing happened. The crowd were
beginning to complain.
At last, at exactly 9.40pm, we were put out of our
misery. The room darkened and the stage was filled
with smoke all of a sudden. Amongst it, I could see
a lean figure sort of flying its way through the
stage and I could immediately tell who it was. Yes,
ladies and gentlemen, it was MAT OSMAN in a pale
pink shirt! Then, BRETT appeared out of nowhere
wearing a tight black singlet and the crowd went
berserk. Next, I spotted NEIL, looking rather 80s
with his wild-growing hair and black leather jacket,
followed by SIMON looking very healthy with his sexy
maroon polo-shirt (What is it with him and red?!).
Then, I went immediately out of my head as the one
I’ve been aching for finally emerged. Yes, oh my
God, RICHARD OAKES, my mortal Angel, my lush guitar
god, my Libra prince, my lovely Babycake was only
about 130 cm away from the front of my very eyes,
alive, breathing, moving…I went hysterical like hell
I thought I was gonna fall apart. He was –literally
looking gorgeous and luscious with his black tight
T-shirt, blue pair of jeans and a pair of black DMs
and YEEEAAAAAH!!! He grew his beautiful hair back!
And mind you, he was NOT fat like a lot of people
have been fussing about lately. He was an
irresistably insatiable mesomorph. I spotted his
neckless but I could hardly see his earrings…..maybe
he didn’t wear one…
Anyway, so there they went. After a quick greeting
from BRETT, they started with CAN’T GET ENOUGH. Soon
after it’s finished, BRETT joked, “This is the last
song we’re gonna play, thanks, goodnight!” He was
probably being cynical since the front row of the
crowd weren’t as manic as he might’ve expected. 2nd
song they played was TRASH, and it was the best
moment, I jumped up and down frantically all through
the songs. The tracklist (not in order) are:
Can’t Get Enough·
Trash·
She·
Everything Will Flow (Brett said, “This is·
a song about water!”)
Down·
Wild Ones·
Metal Mickey·
Animal Nitrate (the crowd went massively·
manic, they sang along with and the most passionate
moment was when we all screamed “Oh it turns you
oooooon, ooooon…”)
He’s Gone·
Elephant Man·
Electricity·
She’s In Fashion·
Beautiful Ones (BRETT shared the microphone·
with the crowd and we all sang together)
Filmstar·
Lazy (during the solo, ROCHARD jumped up·
and down exactly like what he did in the video!)
Saturday Night (last song)·
Halfway through EVERYTHING WILL FLOW, I couldn’t
stand it anymore, I cried and laughed at the same
time…my heart was torn apart between happiness since
this was like a dream come true and hurt knowing
that this will all end like a mere dream. My tears
were flooding but I was smiling at the same
time…hee!
During SHE’S IN FASHION, BRETT said to everybody
that RICHARD is “a very good singer” and RICHARD
smiled shyly and went “no!” and of course he was
wrong. RICHARD did backing vocals in SHE’S IN
FASHION and boy, did he sound adorable, melodic and
debonaire! Apart from that, he was manic as ever,
tossing half of his body here and there, jumping all
over the place…….I couldn’t take my eyes off him,
with his eyes as blue as the nuclear sky and his
milk-white skin…..BRETT and RICHARD repeated the
last lines “sunshine blow my mind, and the wind blow
my brain…” about 7 times!!!
Before SATURDAY NIGHT, SUEDE went offstage for a
little while and when they came back on NEIL joked
with RICHARD and BRETT joked with SIMON. Boy Neil,
walked across the stage SO elegantly and stylishly,
as if he was on a catwalk modelling Donatella
Versace’s Autumn Collection ’99 (ha!). RICHARD
laughed at him….aaaaaah, that heavenly million
dollar smile!!!!! Meanwhile, I could see MAT on the
background (sort of) dancing…he looked so
cute…hehehehe!
Too soon, it all ended. BRETT wrapt up the show
saying “Thank you, goodnight. Sleep tight!” RICHARD
gave everyone a flying kiss, SIMON went up to the
crowd and threw his drumsticks at them, laughing.
So, SUEDE walked away off the stage. The lights were
turned back on and the crowd went “BOOOOOO!” along
with banging on the floor, shrieking malevolently,
demanding for more. But of course, they weren’t
coming back. And once again, we were all stranded
under the nuclear sky of the Forum…..the time was
now 11.05pm.
So, that was it, elegant swines, headladies and
elephant men! I would like to thank you all for
listening, the Forum Melbourne for providing a
perfect venue to our starcrazy flashboys, SUEDE
themselves of course, for giving us Head music Down
Under. I shall treasure this until
the next life. Farewell and stay together,
Almitra
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