Grandma
lyrics by Costa

My grandma likes to eat hot wings
My grandma likes to scuba dive
My grandma likes to eat hot wings
She says the help keep her alive.

My grandma likes to go roller blading.
She says it keeps her on her toes.
My grandma likes to do cocaine.
She says it helps clean out her nose.

Chorus:
My grandma's only eighty-seven,
She's old in age but young at heart.
And though our interests are the same,
All of those years set us apart.

My grandma likes to go snow boarding,
She likes to freestyle on the hills.
And though my grandma has arthritis,
That's not why she takes all those pills.

My grandma likes to go pole vaulting
She says it helps to keep her high.
My grandma always watches Baywatch,
But she won't give the reason why.

Chorus:
Me and grandma go bar hopping,
And she can outdrink me by far.
And while I'm passed out at a table,
She's setting records at the bar.

My grandma went and got a nose ring.
She says it helps show off her eyes.
My grandma doesn't have friends her age,
Because she's stolen all of mine.

I wanna be just like my grandma.
I think I am her greatest fan.
But to party like my grandma,
I think I'll need a pension plan.

Chorus:
My grandma knows that life's worth living
A wisdom that you can't deny.
And though my grandma's so much older,
I think I'll be the first to die.