i know i didn't write about dawson this week. i feel like beginning to write is such a huge task once again. like i can't include anything. like i told that little blue girl, when i signed on after i watched it, my hair was a mess and i had tears streaming down my face. i was a mess. holy fuck i love that show.
work on wednesday was pretty bad. i came close to crying and quitting. i was put on the team store kiosk again - and my partner was late. that is, she didn't show up till the game started. so i had an hour and a half (you usually get three) to set up a kiosk i've only worked at once, all by my sell. i was paniced. i couldn't push it back, i didnt know how to turn on my register, i didnt know how to turn on the damn lights. I made it with like a minute to spare and worked the first half hour alone. then my partner had me doing everything - when we counted out, she had me to it all and she wouldn't even let me write down the numbers. i'm like, hi i have two thousand dollars here, shouldn't i take my time? it was hell. but then i found out why all that was being put on me - its gonna become my kiosk. i've been given that horrible responsibility. it means my partner will probably float to train someone else, and anyone else that comes to work with me will have ME instructing them. i like being told what to do better. but, perhaphs its a compliment? I'm not working tonight. i wish i was. Its a kings game. it would have been nice and busy. oh well.
let's see. the rest of my week. friday and saturday i spent with marc. i drove all the way out there. on the drive home i was so cold i had a bandana type thing tied around my head, with ear muffs, my sweater, my scarf and two pairs of gloves on. i was still cold. i really wish my car had a working heater. Friday we saw meet joe black (swoon) and i still know what you did last summer. Saturday we shopped for our fun obscene tori gift. You know its bad when you buy her something from drakes. We were all over - the beverly center, the promenade [where we saw edward norton and ran into big and little momma. and saw a dancing nun! all on one block]. Going to all those familiary places made me miss zoan a lot. blah. i think elliot got sick of me mentioning it. Today i just stayed home, and i just wrote my i love lucy term paper. it hink its really bad. but i don';t know what else i can do with it, ya know? i just don't knwo HOW to make it better. i feel so stupid lately.
everytime i think about the fact that i'm going to michigan and ohio i freak out. i never thought i'd get over there - so randomly. and i freak out. i'm cold here. i don't know if i can handle it. i have so much to do before i go too. i have CDRS of a lot of my shows now. the quality on my oregon boots are so good i want to fuck them. hahaha. i love them. i really do love tori. god, she gives so much. its just fucking amazing.
i got the biggest compliment of my life tonight. i've begun to get back into the loop of professional tori trading again. and tonight i decided to join the somewhat elite tori traders ring. i never joined before because of the requirments to get in. they just took too much effort. and meade had invited me to join in the past. but i never did. tonight i decided to. and usually you have to complete 4 trades to get in and get all these letters of reccomendation (which i thought was a pain, because i had already traded with half the people in the ring in the past) and when i asked to join she told me "joiya wrote a recommendation, but you've been around for quite a while and I've always admired your html. I'm honored you want to join. <: I've added you"
it was just. theee biggest compliment to me. ever.
i suppose i'm sleepy. i got a letter from anne. once again, i have nothing to say, why should i respond and ake it even more agonizing? the new cardigans album is good. All i want for christmas is my friends back.
i want to peek into you more darling. you're such a great friend. we don't have the drama. i suppose that's a plus on the computer side. i suppose.
weird how this makes us feel/insecure/that's what friends are for
