i've been selected to babysit my brother all weekend. three days alone with him. kind of a frightening responsibility. But we're kind of bonding. its nice. today we saw ANTZ [which is really good. i dont think kids found it very funny, but i certianly did], and went to the local crappy carnival. Staying in my town makes me so depressed. Three of the parking attendants went to high school with me - what do you say? you want to say more than hello, but what else is there? and then we went to eat locally and all of the workers were in the thespians a year ahead of me. One of them i grew close with my junior year. he didn't say hello at first. i was so afraid he'd forgotten me. I remember everyone, so well - buti feel like thats only because im pathetic, they'd never remember me - but he did come over and talk [he sure has aged well. hee. much cuter] - and turns out, he was this guy yelling at me the other day when i was turning. I didn't recognize this person screaming at me MADLY, so i ignored it. Turns out it was him. Yelling my full name. I'm happy he didn't forget me. I liked him a lot.
i came home and made various deserts from my childhood. didn't make me feel a whole lot better. [sigh] oh well. I went on a CD shopping spree last night - finally picked up heather nova's 'siren'. Its much better than i thought. its totally suiting my mood. My driving music has been Under the Pink lately., sort of strange...
i want to tell you about this strange dream i had the other night. I can only remember pieces of it for now, but it was one of those dreams that leaves you uneasy, and you're so afraid when you wake up. It started at a tori show - i think it was the forum, because there were like, momma type women there. Two. One of them kept mentioning the bloods. She was nice. Then, the after show meet and greet..i was on the rail next to the gangsta momma. It was hectic, lots of people. The woman started discussing the Bloods with tori and she was very...pro-bloods..and the other momma woman, a crypt [?] gangsta woman got all pissed and started fighting with the blood momma..and the crowd got slightly uneasy..they started to get very angry..and people were crying cos they werent talking to tori...so..tori just hops over the baracades [joel and steve are dealing wth the mommas] and tori begins to talk to a girl..and everyone in the crowd starts moving in closer and closer to tori, like they all want a piece of her..and it starts to get mad, and tori is getting pushed around and squashed, and i'll never forget the look of terror on her face. Like she realized she could NOT control this situation. and she looked so scared. Clio and i rushed into it and pulled her over the baracade...and then my dream switched
i was in a desert or something. with a man, a very violent man. this is what scared me. i don't remember much. all i recall is that he liked the color red. he would swing axes into the heads of bald men, and into various women so that he could see the vivid and bright red blood running from their head. He loved it. Thats about all i remember from that dream. I just know it was graphic and gross, and frightening.
Zoan - [sigh] departure. I think we both just don't care right now. but i miss spending time with you. we always had so much fun.
