i can't figure you out. I mean, doh. I shouldn't have hoped for anything in the first place, but i have. We've known each other nine weeks now, if you had a significant other, you certianly would have mentioned it by now. And besides, i always watch you walking around with your friends. They look just like you. but, on thursday, on my way to class, i looked for you on your bench, and i couldn't find you at first. Then i notice, oh..right there..with his face burried in that girls shoulder. That's him...so i hummed as i walked past you and went into the bookstore.
i don't usually talk to myself outloud at school - but i did today. I got angry. You made me like you. you did it on purpose, was it a game? you see me as a child..maybe i should shut up. Maybe i shouldn't view your teasing as cute...maybe it should piss me off. You want to know the most, ironic and hurtful part of seeing you snuggle up with this girl? She must have weighed a hundred pounds. At most. It just, figures. Granted, i never had the joy of watching you kiss, and she wasn't that pretty. But it grounded me. I think i know what i must look like to you - and i don't want you to see me that way. You make me feel like a child. And, i might be. but i don't want to be treated like one. And i like you a lot.
its the same old story again. Just like with Mike, Nathan, Romeo and even Frank. Something about a boy strikes me - and somehow, i weasel my way into their lives - becoming for the most part, an inportant person in their life - the friend. the ever fucking faithful friend. I'm so sick of that. I still want everyone one of those boys - but instead, i stand back, and i listen, and i become the constant shoulder to cry on. My only GIVE relationships.
But, pathetic little me - if its the only way i can be in your life, ok. i'll be there for you.
