So. hi. i havent been inspired to do a journal lately. everytime i look at my site it makes me want to vomit. i want to re-design it SO badly but i dont have the patience. i tried to use frames last night - like maries. cos hers kicks it, but i downloaded that program thingeee and deleted it 20min later because i canNOT use programs they make me want to die. it frustrates me. SO. none of that. i want to redesign it soon, but, i suppose we'll have to see heh.

so hi. its my birthday. its 1am. woo. i can't believe im 20. T - W - E - N - T - Y. No longer a teenager. no more fucks up and relying on the excuse that im just a kid. it makes me want to go kill myself or something.

I opened a savings account for the Tori Tour on tuesday and while i was sitting in the bank i looked over and saw this girl, Corrine, that i knew in 9th grade. She was..well, white trash, and for awhile her whole group of friends was so accepting for me. their friendship was new and fresh, and nice. she went camping with me the summer after 8th grade when i barely knew her and we had a great time. half way through 9th she started straying towards the bad crowd, which by looking at her, seemed inevitable. She was a drinking buddy of mine when i was at my all time lowest. when i was really lost. did i mention i hated age 15? that was the WORST. 15 and 16. i wanted to kill myself everyday. im so glad im not that bad anymore. but anyhow, i hadnt really seen her in a long time. i tried to walk out of the bank ignoring her but she said hi (she had a MULLET ok?) and i was like 'hi, wow its been a long time' and then we bot just smiled. what do you say? i HATE seeing ppl from high school. blah

so. im hopefully getting a cat tomorrow. since my dads outta otwn, my stepmoms been graet about letting us. even tho neither of my parents want it. we went and picked it out. its not one i liked visually, but it had the most playful attitude. its 5 months old. we put it on reserved. hopefully the adoption ppl will be there tomorrow. woo. im excited. 'oh kitty!'

hey wanna see my desktop? sure you do. just look at it, and listen to the beginning of 'anas song' at the same time. MEOW



when i found this i told marie to do that and then told her i was lactaiting. hahaha. it was a moment. what can i say? anyhow. so now im off to sulk. on my bday. cos as much as im like 'im a fucking princess for like 3 days AFTER my birthday' they depress the fucking hell outta me. 20 years old, still single. single for 20 years.




just come shoot me now. come on. do it? even the hillbilly dawsons fuckers get more than i do. and i LOVE THEM









erin.