i'm sleepy
and tired
and my netscape crashes
and i have no where to go
i try to read my book
but its not vc andrews
i try to set up trades
so that i can make packages
but the world is sleeping
my school work is calling
but i'd rather eat soup and watch
the wonder years
i trigger a memory
and look at my cds.
trying to decide which one to play
and i pick up out of range.
ani.
hm. i think about it.
resist a bit.
and put the cd in.
i am flooded with memories
of summer
of 1996.
of new friends
and beauty
and sun
and tears
and love.
i know there is comfort
where we overlap
and then i remember cold and stormy nights
down on wilshire
with hairy chested men
and girls screaming
"GET THE FUCK UP"
its weird.
the connection i once had with ani.
disolved
she didn't exist past 1996.
she was good, until 1996.
from 1997 on..every album that she
has created. has been.
crap.
there is nothing like out of range
or not a pretty girl
dilate started to reach out
but out of range, she is mine
so i listen to this
and im remembering. i cant feel these anymore
but i can remember
------------------------
later
i can't wait to leave this country
and travel to other parts of the world
all my little responsibility
is dropped
left at LAX
and im free
for almost a month
just to absorb, and live.
but i miss so much
im afraid of distance from friends
i dont want to come back different
as though i have been on another planet
called new york.
because that won't happen to me.
because i am stronger.
but i miss so much.
i miss silverchair
and i miss blur.
and i miss garbage
funny that.
no shows
no excitment
other than marilyn manson
and lauyrn hill coming up
but my favorites.
come to me
when i go to them
