hey. long time no see eh? actually, i wrote a very lengthy entry last week. twice in fact. but my netscape errored both times i published it. im always so tired. so tired to do this. all my words seem to be reserved for papers lately. and everytime i finsh a paper, a new one is assigned an hour or two later. its really out of control. you're so behind in my life. catch up. heh. i saw a lot of movies. but i may have mentioned that. i saw the new ang lee movie with dor. it was a test screening. it had tobey macguire and jewel. i really hate jewel. but it was pretty good for a civil war movie. i love ang. and tobey reminds me of elijah so much its frightening.

i'm listening to something to remember right now. its my favorite madonna album. and i count it as an album. its actually the only one i like completely. i could listen to this forever...i'm itching for art. its really bad. im not taking an art class this semester and its driving me completley mad. i didnt realize it until i began designing boot covers for jenifa and begging her to let me make more. i realize its because i miss my outlets. ive been designing damn address labels, and putting together my tori photo album. things like that. i really want to do my scrapbook before i go to europe. when i come home ill have a whole OTHER scrapbook to make. but i cant find _THE_ scrapbook. i want one that will last. but all those are about a hundred dollars. which i should save for europe.

did you know i leave in like thirty days?

im feeling better. maybe you shoould be glad i didnt get last weeks entry up. i was so hopeless and in despair. i was ready to off myself. maybe it will happen again after this weekend. it seems to happen after i spend time with friends. i dont like it. but luckily josh was there. he was good to talk to. i felt like it was one of our first REAL REAL talks. after like two years. funny how slow things progress.

i bought marilyn manson tickets. they're bad seats. oh well

ok, im gonna go now. i can make more boot covers.

i miss you guys