Fic info.
Holiday
Part Five
"What the hell was that thing?"

I look over at my childhood playmate and arch a brow. She hates it when I get all Princely on her. "I believe it's called a ‘Demon'. Indigenous to hell."

She glares and then cuffs me across the face. If it were anyone else, they'd be dead. No question. "Smart ass." She tries to wipe away more of the green blood that the thing had sprayed on her when she'd beheaded it. "I mean, what's its species name?"

I shrug. "Haven't the faintest."

"Might I suggest Ugly Brute?" The Duke sounds almost jovial. Not natural for him. Usually, Mother's got him so worried about this or that court plot, he's got nothing to do but worry.

"I take it you enjoyed that?" He nods and I laugh. "Nothing like a spot of mindless violence to get your spirits up, I guess."

I look over my shoulder at the rest of the court. Dandies. Nearly fifty demons and half-demons and they were trapped by one...thing...down here. And it only took us three to dispatch it.

"Come along, people!" I call and watch as the group begins moving out of the Mouth of Hell, enmasse. "Mother's been kept waiting quite long enough, don't you think?"

Jez grabs my hand and begins pulling me towards the opening. "Come on, Gats. Maybe we can find some Vampires on the way to the hotel. It's gotta be dark by now. I want to see what a thing without a soul looks like."

I glance at the Duke. "Go on," he murmurs, waving me away. "I'll escort everyone to Her Majesty."

~
"Mother's going to scold the hell out of you, you know."

Jezebel gets a sullen expression on her face. She's never dealt well with authority. "What? I didn't do anything wrong."

"She told you not to kill anything."

Her whole body contorts, telling me I'm exasperating her. "So I should have let it eat Duchess Apocalyptica?" She wrinkles her nose and sticks out her tongue. "Who the hell chose her name, anyway? I mean, her human name was Nancy!"

I shake my head, chuckling. Jez is cute. Sometimes I wish she was suitable for marrying me.

But no. Mother says Demons, only. Halflings need not apply. And I know it galls her to say that and force it on me, but that's the only way the population of hell would every accept me as their Crown Prince.

Not that Father will ever die....

But Jez and I have been together for far too long. She's like...a sister to me. And while I'm allowed quite a bit leeway with which sins I dabble in, incest is not one of them. Mother was adamant about that. Father says it's her human half and upbringing.

She's strict on that, though. For instance, until she was convinced that Father would leave that sin out of the palace, he wasn't allowed anywhere near my little sister, Ultra.

Now, Ultra.... She's...odd. I think Mother raised her a little too human. Being ostracized by all the other children doesn't help, either. And that's Mother's fault. When Ultra was born, there was a big to-do about what to name her. Mother having named me Agat-bat-mhlat, which means "One of Satan's wives and the Demoness of whores". Not a flattering name, by any means, but she did it as a dig at Ardat-Lile—one of Father's other wives—that wanted me named after her. Agat-bat-mhlat was killed eons ago, doing something foolish, trying to cross over to Heaven. She's a disgrace. That Mother would rather have me named after her (not to mention named a girl's name in spite of everything) was a serious insult.

So when Metztli—yet another of Father's wives—tried to have the Council of Names decree Mother was unfit to name her second child, she fought back. And when she won, named my sister the strangest, silliest name ever entered into the Records of Hell. Ultravioletgoldrainbow.

She'd be with us now if she hadn't fallen behind on her schooling. Mother says she can join us after she passes her next test in Species in Heaven and Hell 101.

I'm suddenly brought out of my reverie when Jez tenses and stops in front of me. We'd been wandering through a cemetery, hoping we'd run into a Vampire. Now I could hear voices from up ahead.

"One more pass and then I'm off," a girl was saying. "Riley and I have a date and I'd like to get to it before midnight."

"Ooh. Riley." That from a guy. Mocking the girl. "Guess he's next on Slutty the Vampire Slayer's conquest list."

Jez and I exchange a glance and then move forward stealthily. Vampire Slayer?

The sound of flesh hitting flesh is heard. "What did you just say?" the girl asks dangerously.

"Nothing," the guy mumbles. "Jesus. Touchy, ain't you?"

"I'm just not in the mood, Spike."

They turn a corner around a mausoleum and stop short on seeing us. The girl's petite. Pretty. The guy's dressed in all black and has shockingly white hair. They'd make a cute couple.

"Hi," Jez says after the awkward moment of silence. "Uh...I'm Jez and this is Gatty." She pauses. "Did you say you were a Vampire Slayer?"

The girl looks around frantically. "Uh, Vampire Slayer? No...no.... I...."

"Don't worry," I murmur, stepping towards her. "It's not like we're human or anything. You're secret's safe."

"Not human?" she asks. "And...what are you?"

"Demons." They both stiffen and I get the impression maybe I shouldn't have been so blunt.

"Demons, eh?" the guy asks. "Well, well."

They both drop into fight stances and Jez smiles. "You think you can fight us?" she asks and laughs, shaking her short red hair. "Oh, bring it on, babe."

Oh, Lord. Mother's going to kill me.