A Scathing Heap of Pointless Information.

If you desire to be an accepted member of this family, here's how it works, sometimes.

  • The quality of this page is still being questioned.
     1.Early on
    It is assumed that you aren't a blood-relation.
      a.You must be a childhood friend of the Buermann six-pack.
      b.If that was never achieved, I suggest you buy them all some hard liquor, get them drunk, and then convince them that you've known them since childhood.
      c.If you're to young to buy liquor and are only familiar with the three younger Buermanns then you must willingly accept any abuse they put you through.

    2.Learn the language
      a.The Language is concieved in a very random manner
      b.Body Language consists of exaggerated flailing of the upper and lower appendages, usually to mime an action or the shape of an object.
      c.Unfortunatly the Language is confusing and ever changing and was never written down or translated so you must be able to absorb.
        A few words that have stuck thus far would be:

        Hork: Meaning to throw, to call out, an exclimation of something terrible:: "Ohhh..hork..." Also used as a sort of groan when standing up or lifting something heavy.
          Also, "Hork Hork, Horkend He" --Ren and Stimpy

        Waffular: Oh waffle! Terrible;tragic.

        Recluse Land: a fictional plane of existance where one is cast after an accident that leaves him wounded."Respond or you'll be thrust into Recluse Land and Horked"

        Hodaka Neck: "He's suffering from hodakaneck" a sort of whiplash achieved in an accident riding a Hodaka motorcycle, I believe..
        spelling uncertain.

        Hoat Power: a word screamed while in a predicament, usually brings you safely to the ground unscathed.

        Haddock: To haddock; verb meaning to fart after consuming Haddock. "Oh noo, who haddocked?!"
      And, a special acknowledgement is in order for my eldest brothers good buddy Shane Tommerdahl who informed me with a recently regestered a complaint in my guestbook that he helped create most of the words of the language above. Well, congradulations. We're all really very proud of you, I hope you're happy now.

      3. Marriage.
        a. Well Duh.. If you really wanted to be part of this family that bad I suppose you could resort to this.
        This family really isn't that spectacular, you know.

      4.Offspring
        a.Treat the offspring of any Buermann like an equal.
        b.They are no better than you that they couldn't be honored to get you a beer out of the cooler.
        c.In the raising of offspring teach them how to take abuse(i.e. if they get a limb disconnected from the rest of their bodies, insist that it doesn't hurt) and how to use power tools and to clean up after themselves because nobody else wants to clean up after some stupid little asshole kid.
        d.By the time they are of three years they should be able to make their own damn food.

      5.Appearance
        a.Since all six Buermanns are siblings they all have about the same apperance. The younger three reflect the older three. You must somehow be able to connect your existance with theirs.
        b. If not in appearance, in behavior. Have you ever had an argument with a telephone?
        c. You probably shouldn't be afraid to be seen in public listening to Irish and polka music.

      6. Ritualistic Music
        Must be familiar with the works of:
      2. The Pogues (Shane Macgowen and the Popes or The Snake)
      3. Loudon Wainwright III
      4. Jerry Jeff Walker
      5. Jimmy Buffet
      6. Doc Watson
      7. Guy Clark
      8. The Violent Femmes
      9. Denis Leary
      10. They Might Be Giants
      11. Celtic Music (Drinking songs)
      12. Grandpas and Uncle Johns Polka
      13. Jimmy Jenson
      14. Slim Jim
      15. Steve Fromholz
      16. Tom Waits
      17. ect ect..

      7.Presentation
        a. You must present yourself in a inconspicuous way so none of us think you're trying to hard to be part of the tribe.
        b. It must be a unanymous vote between all six of us inorder to become a member. We won't tell you. Tough luck.

        8. Family Reunion.
        a.Drinking, Music, Drinking Music, Assholes, Botccee, Volley, Basket and Fuss Ball.
        b. The Family reunion is being abandoned. We now partake in ritualistic human sacrafice, loud music, and fire.


      Austrailian SweatShops
      Nervousa



      This page hosted by

      Justin| Jeremy| Josh| Jade| Jodi| Jordan
      This was only one out of the many sites online that these raging yahoo's have created. They're out to take over the world, as I'm sure anyone with a bloated ego is. But these guys are smart, they're going to ~TAKE OVER ANTARCTICA~ Once they've kicked out all those scientific know-it-alls and richly populated the continent, they'll set out and wage war upon the rest of the world. Their unique brand of brainwashing will easily win most over, so the wars will be quick and bloodless. Join their legions now, and be in the drivers seat when their plan begins to unfurl.
      or something
      1