: Has Zamboni gone to school, Canada, and gotten another account? Help!?!?!

Zamboni is an ingrown little degenerate goat-fucker who posts to UseNET for the express purpose of enticing people back to his flat where he can have intercourse with their excrement. I am a legitimate scientist, godDAMMIT!

Which brings me back to topic. I think the present accepted approach to taxonomy is way off. I do not think animals should be defined in this manner, each with a latin name and distinguishing characteristics blah blah blah. Because this leaves no room for snurgs, aliens etc which appear in a slightly different form every time you see them. Nobody really knows knows the exact line where a Booka ends and a Phooka begins because there ISN'T one. It's just kind of a fuzzy distinction based on intuition, and people are allowed to disagree somewhat. And one might say that this is fine for the more "supernatural" creatures, but our present system of taxonomy works just fine for the "natural" creatures. I would agree, if not for the fact that "supernatural" (or Wyrd to use a better word) creatures are often composed of more ordinary ones or may appear in the form of an ordinary animal temporarily, which may later "turn out" to have "actually" been a dog all along, just as a unicorn appears as a mere beautiful white mare before the ugly eyes of the faithless, UFOs turn into frisbees etc etc. And vice versa. So again, where do you draw the line?

Therefore, I have devised a system of defining animals by what wyrd characteristics they have in common, rather than their mundane ones, and thus discovered the Snurg Phenomenon, which has manifested itself in a few of our major cities, HOPEFULLY NOT including Paskaskatoon, Sasquatchewan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I admit that at first glance you may scoff, and the vast majority of our faithless nation will never see a Snurg, or anything else of true beauty and terrible wyrdnis, but this does NOT make me wrong! I will show HARD PHYSICAL EVIDENCE to anyone who comes by and requests it. We must stop the March of the Sinister Snurgs before it is too late, and our nation is lost in a sea of banality and people with vacuum cleaners for a face for ever and ever!

-Adonis Damocletian QPM

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