Timothy Verry (verryta@taft.law.uc.edu) wrote:
: On 23 Oct 1995, John Calvin QPM wrote:

: > Try this one: ride the subway wearing a hockey mask and an unblinking
: > stare.

: I don't have to. I just experienced it vicariously through the wonderous
: new technology of literature. Isn't is scary, it's so powerful.

It's not the SAME NGHHHHH. Now listen to me very carefully. You are not exactly like ME!!! So DIE!!!

New and improved! Now you too can be just like your favourite sports star, but without the Slack! Red shoes!

If there is one thing I HATE HATE HATE KILL SMASH BITE, it is Red Shoes. (not ruby slippers. well them too. And they ARE the same thing. Grant Morrisson was RIGHT!) So wear your butt-sucking RED shoes with masks on their toes. I'm aloof over you. I'm so aloof I didn't even respond to your post!

-agsts "GREEN SHOES" fluffybunny QPM

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Subject: Re: Hockey mask slack
Date: 27 Oct 1995 23:51:49 GMT

Okay dicknose shit-besmirched pile of rotting dog testicles being eatin by maggots which are being eaten by an obese gangrenous white-bread lady who just CAIN'T STOP FARTIN', don't you EVER call me that again, or I'll make EMPTY THREATS!

RE: point one. I'll burn and/or fuck anything I PLEASE because I am bigger, better, fatter, louder, meaner and DIRTIER than you and your whole stinkin' family, nation, country and ARMY and if you try to tell me what to do again, I'll put you in a DISPLAY case! I know where you live!

RE: point three. I didn't say that vicarious experience was wrong, you incestuous snail. But everybody knows it's always "virtual". It's never the same. Duuh. This is you: duuuh duuuh i'm so stupid i cain't even reach a logical conclusion about an emotional subject. ddoy duuhhhh dah duh i'm so corn-starch dumb i cain't convince others of things which are contrary to their dearly held fundamental belief systems. Doo dah duh.

Agsts "you so dumb you gonna die someday" QPM
P.S. And then I'll rip off your face and you'll look like one of those melting-flesh zombies and nobody will ever fuck you again or even say hello or anything at all except AAH! What's that horrid thing! Kill it!

Now, all you out there who have suffered through the soulless empty banter which these meat puppets have against you perpetrated, I call on you to STAND UP! As for YOU, cameraman... (transmission ends)

ROCK STAR MURDERS REGIS AND KATHIE LEE! NATION OUTRAGED!

"CUBOID SPRINGE DUCK POPPY" FORMS FANATIC MILITIA GROUP! NATION OUTRAGED!

MASS BOMBINGS PLUNGE U.S. INTO CHAOS! NATION VERY OUTRAGED!

PRESIDENT HOLDS PRESS CONFERENCE! NATION MOBILIZED!

ENTIRE U.S. ARMED FORCES GO AWOL AT SAME TIME! I CAN'T HELP IT, SIR! IT'S JUST SO GROOVY!

await next bulletin,
Agsts T "Bad Cripple Bites Own Face" QPM

P.S. I still want my Fucking LEG back, Swan. I know who you are!

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