And it came to pass that I DID! Ooh baby yeah if I dint hit the ground RUNNING! My legs was movin' so fast, they near broke! And those bugs started a hoppin' and a poppin' off the ground like they was seized by the fear of Grand-Daddy Long-Legs, which they WAS!

And many a flea and a un-flea learned the ways of the flame that day I tell you. They was GONE!

And he says to me, "Let the Way become Flesh!" and I said "OOH YEAH!" And I show him my DICK and he says "Shambhalabanamaway-ladoodah! MilliwichaWANNA!" And behold my brothers and sisters, the many rays of light and washing splendor that came spurling from the laughing sky! I tell you NOT! There was birds of trickling indigo and bats of ebony fire and happy summer clouds, trash bags, pills, naked girls, ten-foot dollar bills, a multitude of pulchritude from the tilting heavens. And I said "oOH Bay-BEE!" and long and soft was the angelic slurp. Noo-nah!

And I looked, and I leapt, and laughed, and LONG HUNG DONG ding a ding was my dandelion. Mwuh!

And he says to me, "Get ready" and I said "Huh?" And he says "BWAH HA HA CHANG NASH TANGRACK CHOW!" and I say "Come again?"

BROTHERS AND SISTERS! Then the rain came DoWN. and the grasss grew LONG and the wind BURNED liike so many eruiuqwb4g5ros FIRE NOEL YAYUS! And Curling Jerry did LEAP and did SCREAM and lo: I did scream. Oh you better believe it! I did squeal like a stuck Pink, I did thrash and yell and cry to momma. But to no avail. For the cards was cast, brothers and sisters, the hair had broke, the singing sword had FALLEN. And I, pinned under sky could only burble as inexorably it fell. SMASH NASK KMASH CLASH!

A year and a day it fell, but it never landed. And now I got a new setta TOOLS! HOE HOE HOE! And you can get a set of your own for only Nine Forty-Nine plus expenses. And he says to me "I betcha they think you're JOKIN'" and I said "FUCK YOU!"

Your loving service and handling department,
Agsts Q "squid testicle pizza" Notchamomma

P.S. To all you modern-day gods, goddesses, and heroes: My address is at top of screen. Come over and smoke 'frop (not same as frappy (*ding*). Or cracky etc).
P.P.S. I am not a CIA or FBI agent.
P.P. No stinking fume-exuding shit-butt lap-dog cream-puff butt-pie boring lame-asses need apply.
P.S.P. Never bet NHGH that you have a giant alligator behind door number one. Unless you FUCKING DO!
P.P.S. Or is it the other way round?

you know I'm right. Come on DOWN!
-agsts "guitar string! Get it?" Yallapappus QPM