> Two words: Daytime television

Game shows: you get to watch obese and soulless housewives with Lupus drooling like Pavlov's own over meaningless appliances, shrieking for an ease to their tiny sufferings, clawing each others' eyes out for "bonus points". An educational tool to demonstrate how to occupy the attention of Pinks to your own ends. The same goes for commercials and other forms of Extreme Vampidoenternainomentovision. 1) how to manipulate Pinks. 2) How to torture yourself, gain Slack through suffering. 3) Good meditation device, as the goal of most meditation techniques is to shut off the babbling distracting mind and be One with the Universe 4) Laughing hysterically at Ricki Lake's face. 5) You get to feel REALLY superior. 6) Because you don't like it; check out the book of the Subgenius' opinion on sin. 7) By channel surfing you can pick up messages from your subconscious about things you don't normally admit to yourself. 8) watching with other people who actually like the shows, and talking about what you "like" about them in a manner intended to piss them off without letting on that you intended to. Press their buttons. 9) BULLDADA! 10) Star Trek reruns on Channel 68 11) a method of developing your willpower. Try to focus on what's going on and keep track of it without "zoning", without actually enjoying what is on the set WHICH WOULD BE A TERRIBLE SIN I TELL YOU, MISTER! GIMME THAT GUN OR I'LL FRENCH FRY YA! NO OFFENSE! 12) Daytime TV is a perfect example of the HILARIOUS ABSURDITY of the sick, disgusting mutilated vapid world we live in. 13) Do Saturday Morning and afternoon cartoons count? The coolest in my opinion is either Winnie The Pooh (Legends of the Old Gods) The Tick (LEAP BEFORE YOU LOOK), or Free Willy, which is both entertaining and educational about the environmental crisis, especially as it pertains to friendly but not ambulatory talking killer whales who have a kid sidekick. 14) Masked Rider! 15) AAAAHHH!!! I'M IN HELLL!!! AAAAHH!!! (but not really) 16) Jacking off to Regis Philbin's suits and the intricate textures thereof (which are symbolic of the infinite complexities of this world...) 17) To gather material, so when the folks at the office start talking about some dumb show and how great it is, you will have SPECIFIC EXAMPLES of exactly what is horrible about it, and you can use the humiliation thus generated to bend them to your will. 18) Watching niggers get shot and beat up, and upper middleclass guys like yourself triumph again and again over everything!! HALLELUJIAH!!!

-Agsts "praise be to Alma Mater, and may the status quo live for all Time, and may cops beat themselves up" QPM