Everything is good. Secret war missile bent on () are good. Boring posts are good, they relax you, you can take a break from thinking or looking at anything. Looking at things is good, they're usually beautiful one way or another. That guy who im not sposed to flame anymore is good, although I forget what his name is. People starving in your front yard is good. Not being able to say anything about anything _is_ good. For example, the slaves in early america were punished if they said anything but "Yessah" and "Nosah", and so developed a complex system of facial expressions, body language and tone of voice which allowed them to say ANYTHING they wanted because spoiled massa whitebread was too busy to really understand what they were saying. Oppression is good, stupidity is good, a bucketful of mutilated babies is good (oh, the poor dears, i think I'll write a poem...). Being raped by insectoids is good, yes folks even BAD is good.

You just gotta sleeeze back in your chair (or medieval torture contraption), kick your feet up and bliss bliss BLISS it OUT. OUT, demons, OUT! Kiss 'em inna nads and they RUN! You gotta unclench that sphincter of personality, and hell turns into heaven, (ting!) Stop worrying and love the Bomb! Empty out your bank account, and send it to Dallas! Give your kids a big *smooch* goobye and move in with your mother-in-law! Oh, YES, Officer, I couldn't agree more, I had no IDEA I was speeding, I guess you'd better write me a big ol' ticket because people shouldn't drive that fast, it poses a risk to others. It's just that my wife just left me and I'm a bundle of nerves, I didn't even notice the speedometer was at 90, I better get off this road before I crash and end up putting some poor kid in the hospital. I really need to lie down and think things through, because right now I'm goin' nowhere...

Well, mister stress-crazed psychotic, if you're that upset at me, I must deserve it, so I guess you'd better shoot me...

Getting shot is fun! Getting your hand stuck in the disposal is fun! Yes, it IS cold out, it's BRISK and INVIGORATING! HUMbllgblbla! gone and crashed my car again, i goina Disneeland...

I gonna disneeland.

These are the New Four Noble Truths:

1) Bad things are good because they make drama, which is fun and exciting and _good_!

2) Good things are good because of course they are, they were good in the first place!

3) In between things are good because they're weird and slippery and entertaining and _good_!

4) The other inbetween things are good because they're half bad (which is good) and half good (which is good). These four conditions include ALL THINGS.

contrasted with the Four Noble Truths of Con Buddhism (which is good) 1) all life is suffering. Maybe, but if so, that's REALLY COOL because of item 1) above.

2) suffering is caused by desire. You mean I can have superdrama all the time just by WANTING THINGS? ACES!

3) There is a release from suffering. Sure, but why bother? Every moment is nirvana already!

4) By following the way of the Buddha. That sounds really NEAT, Buddha. I'll get right on it right after I finish experiencing everything.

I mean it. Show me anything in the universe that's bad, and I'll show you something REALLY COOL AND FABULOUS!!!

Agsts T (I come not to bring peace, but SOMETHING REALLY COOL!) QPM -- 1