Litle grey specks. They are not really dust. There is grey and red wall stuff, and nobody cares about e-sex anymore, MAN OH MAN! Nobody has sex with electric sockets anymore, nobody types "My name is John Doe" anymore, but never mind about that. There is a Snurg about six or seven inches long who lives behind my computer, and he keeps peeking his head out and looking at me with his evil black eyes whenever I am trying to think about what I'm posting, and then I think "What was that?" and try to look at him and there's nothing there. I think if I stuck my head behind and found out FER SHURE if he was there or not, I would get one of those migraine attacks again, and nobody wants that, especially not you. Butt never mind about that either. If you try to use your mind, it makes your head hurt an awful lot, so it is best not to. It is bes to just run around on the icy sidewalk with your head hunched down and the grin of you-know-who on your face, looking no one in the eye and sliding real close to beople and going OOAUAAGHA! without actually touching them, and lurching about everywhere like Buddy Hackett or whoever that guy is. It is also best when riding the subway to swing from the bars like a monkey and go "AOOGAH!" at everyone, especially if the car is crowded, as it gives you big rushola when all the little pinks cower before Mr Crazed Psychotic and give you what little Slack they have so they can go home and beat their wife. If there were only one at a time this would not much be worth it, but when they are in tens and twenties you become a Living God, which is fun. Bring a sympathetic friend the first time, the pinks will think it is "performance art" and give you money. Also screaming "I don't like cheese" in your best mouse imitation is good. Drooling on strangers is also fun. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. If their opinion does not matter to you, they are willically incapable of assaulting you physically, as they are too awed by your presence. Would you try to beat up Quetzalcoatl himself? I sure wouldn't. I'd probably send him $20. Amen. You see, normally if you let the Monster of Slack Who Liveth in Your Pants out in the presence of merehumes they will take all the slack and then beat the shit out of you. BUTT, if you truly believe fuck 'em if they can't take a joke, they can't hurt me I'm a 12-foot tall Yeti (or not actually thinking this but taking it for granted), they will LITERALLY BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP YOU. Though they will immediately forget as soon as you leave the scene and Ordinary Reality returns, it is LOADS OF FUN. You can make them flee, you can read their minds, you can even make them literally piss their pants or have heart attacks (if you're into that sort of thing, and WHY NOT?).

But that's enough of THATT. Walls have tentacles, you know, and this is a family newsgroup. But, but NOW BITCH, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE AND SUCK MY DICK. Excuse me.

And to all those who wonder what goes on behind your back, oh no is my girlfriend sleeping with that Gwar guy, does everyone I know fuck me up the ass in my sleep, et cetera et cetera, it's best NOT to think about it, believe you me. There was a story in the Vedas about a man who had a daemon for a pet, and he says to the daemon, make me a sandwich. Poof, a sandwich. Make me king. Manipulate, manipulate, 3 days you're king. Make me the greatest palace in the land. Build, build, 3 days palace built. Get all the men in the land to let me borrow the wives, and make all the wives willing. Preach, preach, 3 days no problem. And so the guy's fucking one of the wives, and the daemon comes up and says "I'm bored." And the guy says "can't you see I'm busy, come back in an hour" and the daemon says, louder "I'm BORED" and the guy is really kinda busy fucking the most beautiful lady in Puppetland and he has no TIME for this shit. "You heard me. Fuck off." And the daemon did fuck off. He fucked off to go wreak havoc in the kingdom. He incited the king's army to run around raping all the kings pretty new wives, he made dogs eat their masters, he made masters beat the shit out of their king. He said HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm not going to tell you the rest of the story. Suffer, motherfucker, this is the TANGO!

-Damocletian QPM 1