And speaking of lost continents sunk beneath the murky purple bubbly waves of Mother Ocean, there was a live duck in my bathtub this morning and I think it was an escapee from Atlantis because the door and window were both shut and nobody was in my house except me, the duck, and all of you, my beautiful yet somehow invisible imaginary friends. May you grow up into real people someday. So there's no other way he/she (you never can tell with ducks) could have gotten in unless the sink turned itself on and splooted her out, which is DAMN UNLIKELY so I figured she was from Atlantis because she was sunk beneath the waves so to speak. Just for the sake of argument, I wonder what would have happened if she bit me on the butt when I was taking a bath... No forget about that, that's too horrible to think about.
Anyways, I reached Nirvana or Total Slack or whatever today. I pissed on a bush outside my office and their was snow on it and the snow turned all yellow and I said to myself "Now you're DONE."
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they get to piss on bushes when everyone else is Hail Marying themselves into oblivion.
And blessed are the poor in common sense, because they get to have the coolest adventures.
Blessed are the Extremely Wussy, for they shall be Too Pathetic To Beat Up.
Blessed are the poor in brains, for they may have endless drama counting to three, and endless entertainment watching teevee.
Blessed are the Snotty, for they shall be Better Than Everyone Else.
Blessed are the boring, for they shall not suffer.
Blessed are those that hunger and thirst after their own fingernails, for their feast shall be endless.
And blessed are those who are blessed, for they are blessed. Amen.
Bless you all,
Agsts "Behold the New Pentium PC's!" QPM
(later...)
Blessed are the Stupid and the Retarded
Because they don't barge into your living room and tell you about how the
Internet is a 54709823456908234659348-652-39465084 and so YOU BETTER RUN
or something like that when you're trying very hard to build a fire in
the fireplace and you don't need some Invading Intelligence From Mars to
rip all the hairs off your ass until you pay attention to them or some
such shit. All you unpretentious simple minds out there, o ye who cannot
count to twenty without giving up and going bowling instead, I salute ye!
Ye who do not scream "Define love", "paradigm", "existential", or "solipsism" till your lungs turn into ashes. Ye whose fondest wish is to have a glass of orange juice, who then proceed to the refrigerator, blessed are ye.
You know, there was this gang of reporters who kept asking Georgia O'Keefe if she was a lesbian, why all her pictures resembled vulvas, and you know what she said? "Okay perverts, get the hell off my lawn or I'll call the police!"
Blessed are the people who are Georgia O'keefe, as well as the stupid people.
Blessed are those who have a nice time. Have a nice day.
-Angnts T QPM
P.S. I think this has something to do with home cooking, but I can't figure what. Anyone for a pizza with extra cigarettes and owl flatulence?
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