Employee Reviews:  Key Phrases


 Have you ever wondered what the supervisor is really saying in all those
 glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out?
 
 Average:                        Not too bright
 Exceptionally Well qualified:   Has committed no major blunders to date
 Active Socially:                Drinks heavily
 Zealous Attitude:               Opinionated
 Character Above Reproach:       Still one step ahead of the law
 unlimited Potential:            Will stick with us until retirement
 Quick Thinking:                 Offers Plausible Excuses for errors.
 Takes pride in work:            Conceited
 Takes Advantage of every opportunity to progress:
                                 Buys drinks for superiors.
 Indifferent to instruction:     Knows more than superiors.
 Stern Disciplinarian:           A real jerk
 Tactful when dealing with superiors:
                                 Knows when to keep mouth shut.
 Approaches difficult problems with logic:
                                 Finds somewone else to do the job.
 A keen analyst:                 Thoroughly confused
 Not a desk person:              Did not go to college.
 Expresses self well:            Can string two sentences together.
 Spends extra hours on the job:  Miserable home life.
 Conscientious and Careful:      Scared
 Meticulous in attention to detail:
                                 A nitpicker.
 Demonstrates qualities of leadership:
                                 Has a loud voice.
 Judgement is usually sound:     Lucky
 Maintains Professional Attitude:Snob
 Keen Sense of Humor:            Knows lots of dirty jokes.
 Stron Adherence to Principles:  Stubborn.
 Cets along Extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike:
                                 A coward.
 Slightly below average:         Stupid
 Of great value to the organization:
                                 Turns in work on time.
 Is unusually loyal:             Wanted by no-one else.
 Alert to company developments:  An office gossip.
 Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment:
                                 Lazy and Hard-headed
 Hard worker:                    Usually does it the hard way.
 Enjoys Job:                     Needs more to do.
 Happy:                          Paid too much.
 Well organized:                 Does too much busywork.
 Competent:                      Is still able to get work done if supervisor
				 helps.
 Consults with supervisor often: Pain in the ass.
 Will go far:                    Relative of management.
 Should go far:                  Please.
 uses time effectively:          Clock watcher.
 Very Creative:                  Finds 22 reasons to do anything except
				 original work.
 uses resources well:            Delegates everything.
 Deserves promotion:             Create new title to make s/he feel appreciated.