"This Time Around"
By: gb
Chapter 51
At that moment, Gillian and Eugenia were watching TV and in between, Eugenia discussed Edmund's plan in detail.
She also added that even more room could be added to include a living room so that the entire third floor east wing could become like a little apartment should Ryan and Gillian want and that way they could have some privacy for their own lives with the baby.
"Just as long as we all get lots of time with the baby!" the dutchess enthused, her eyes twinkling.
Gillian was thrilled with the idea and hoped Ryan would agree.
She absently flipped through a magazine and after a moment, the older woman noticed that she was quiet and asked her what was the matter.
"You're not upset because I'm pregnant and Ryan and I haven't gotten married again yet, are you?" she asked.
"Well, I must admit that I wish that you and he were legally together again, but that's only because I know that's what you want so much. I know your baby will bring you both lots of happiness, ma petit."
She paused then asked carefully, "Have you wondered if you will marry him again?"
"No, Grandmama. I mean, I want to, but...I'm afraid that if I mention it, Ryan will think
I'm pushing him when he's not ready."
"What is it that you think will happen, Gillian?" Eugenia asked her directly.
Gillian was silent, then blurted out,"I'm scared that he'll run away again!"
"Oh, Gillian!" Eugenia put her arm around her granddaughter.
"Ryan has so many problems with relationships and trust and I've hurt him before,"
Gillian continued. "I just can't help being scared sometimes! I don't want to get married again until Ryan is ready. I can wait until then- I know he loves me; I'm not greedy.
"I admit there are times when I think that there's got to be easier men to love- Jake for one. But, I just can't stop loving Ryan, Grandmama. He's everything to me!"
"But you have a right to be happy- especially now. So, you must be honest and hold onto your dreams. I'm sure your love has helped Ryan grow tremendously. Trust your love for him. Trust that his love for you will always be there."
"I know you're right, Grandmama, but I've waited so long to get him back! He really wants our baby and I don't want him to go away again!"
"You must always be honest about your feelings, my darling," advised Eugenia. "Any other action can only lead to disaster eventually."
A moment later, another thought occurred to her and she asked, "And what about Hayley? Is she still involved in all of this?" Eugenia frowned.
"Are you still afraid?"
"Ryan says they're friends and he's not in love with her or anything. He knows that now and I believe him...I think I'll always be jealous of their bond, but I know Ryan won't hurt me with her anymore."
Eugenia smiled at Gillian. She was so grown up now, so much stronger because of her love for Ryan. The dutchess had hoped for this from the moment they had married.
She held Gillian now.
Gillian mentioned wanting to take a walk and go by the stables a little later as Eugenia thought about meeting up with Ryan...
end of part 51
(to be continued...)
Next time: Eugenia and Ryan reconnect...