"This Time Around"
By: gb
Chapter 45
Gillian opened her eyes and saw Ryan looking down at her, caressing her cheek lovingly.
"Hey, Baby." he said softly.
"Ryan, you're back." she said slowly. "Are you ok?"
He just nodded. "Mateo was late in getting back."
"The rain didn't get you?"
This time, he only shook his head.
"I'm sorry I slept, but I waited as long as I could" she told him trying to wake herself.
"I'm the one who's sorry for making you wait. I ruined our evening. Can we still have it?" he asked hopefully.
"The food's all cold now- you probabally ate already."
"No, I wanted to eat with you." he said. " Look what I got- I stopped for this."
Ryan held up a candybar that he pulled out of his pocket.
"I brought dessert!" he beamed.
She laughed helplessly. She knew it was going to be impossible to stay mad at him when he did adorable things like this!
He hoped it was a sign of good things to come!
She slid off the bed and they looked over at Sajan who was now going over to Ryan.
"Shall we give Daddy another chance,honey?" she asked.
The cat stopped for a second then mewed and let Ryan pet him.
He and Gillian walked over to the table and took opposite chairs.
The soup was cold, but he never said a word and she relit the melted candles.
There was an easy silence as they finished their meal, their faces illuminated by candlelight.
There was a michevious smile on Gillian's face and Ryan questioned her about it as they finished the chocolate.
She rested her arms on the table, her chin in her hand.
"Remember when we met?" she asked, lazily tracing patterns on the tablecloth with her free fingers.
"When I scamed you into that kiss and when you found out, you got so steamed that you cut up my necktie? God, did you hate my guts then or what?!"
She bit her bottom lip, but didn't say anything.
"Wait a minute..." he looked at her. "You were mad at me, right?"
When she didn't answer, he grinned slyly. "You liked that kiss, didn't you? I knew it!"
"I never said that." she insisted good-naturedly.
"You didn't have to- you liked it...I did too and it changed my life."
"The Lavery charm at work." she told him. "I never stood a chance." she told him, remembering the feel of his lips on hers that first sweet time.
There was a pause then he asked, " Baby, what's up...You've been acting so mysterious and now, talking about memeories- what's going on?"
She shrugged, but smiled.
Ryan thought a moment and looked at her.
"Did you do extra special at work or something?"
"No- work was the same."
She passed a box to him now.
"What's this?" he asked curiously and she urged him to open it.
"I stopped to pick it up on the way home." she explained.
He opened up the parcel and inside, wrapped in folds of delicate, white tissue paper, was
the tiniest white t-shirt and a small, stuffed grey elephant that rattled as he picked it up.
He was confused for only a moment as she said, "Isn't it cute- I just loved this!"
"Yeah...maybe we'll be able to use them someday...as a matter of fact, I think I know what this whole thing has been about now..." he said happily.
"You do?" she was surprised.
"Yeah," he said. "And this is so great, Princess!"
"Really, Ryan?" she was so happy now.
"Uh huh," he insisted. "You wanted to tell me that you're ready to try for another baby.
We'll start right away!"
Gillian laughed and got up. She went over and sat down at his feet and put her hands on his knee.
"Do you think he or she will have your eyes?" she asked, looking up at his blue ones.
"Yours aren't so bad." he commented, tipping up her chin gently.
"I know it's still way too early for clothes and toys, but I didn't want to wait a few more months- I don't know how I'll be able to stand the wait now." she explained.
"Wait for what?" he asked, not understanding.
"Our baby, silly." she said.
"Well, I'm sure that it won't take too long once we start trying." he placed his hand now over her own and the two kissed slowly.
She pulled away carefully and smiled. "We don't have to try, still."
She looked him in the eye now and didn't flinch.
"Why not?" he asked. "What do you mean?"
She was about to tell him when his eyes bulged.
"Princess," he said his voice deathly calm. "What are you trying to tell me?...Are you pregnant now?"
His was barely whispering his question and swallowed while waiting for her answer.
Now that the moment had arrived, she was so nervous her hands shook in his lap.
"Ye-es." she told him and held her breath and watched his reaction.
The word echoed in his head for an eternity, its meaning at first hard to grasp for him!
Ryan couldn't think of ever hearing anything more beautiful in his whole life!
Finally, some words came to him.
"When? How?- I mean I think I know how. When?"
"I don't know," Gillian admitted excitedly, taking a breath at last. "I'm sure maybe it was
right after we got back together."
Ryan couldn't get his words to come to him now the way he wanted, so he had to settle for just staring at Gillian...his sweet Gillian, he thought to himself.
He picked up her hands and placed them on his chest, which was threatening to explode from the pressure of his heart that was now expanding to the size of a basketball!
He placed her hands over that thundering heart now.
"This is where you touch me," his sound was thick with his jumbled emotions. "Where I didn't think I wanted anyone to be."
Ever so slowly, the tears traveled down his face.
He kissed the fingers of each hand one by one.
"I want to tell you how beautiful you are to me but I don't think it's enough."
He put her hands back on his knee.
Gillian acknowledged the compliment with only the smallest smile.
In truth, she didn't want to hear from him that she was physically attractive.
He had always told her this with bulging eyes and an appreciative smile and once, she had lived to hear it!
But then, he had told her she was perfect and had still found it easy to leave her and even take up with Hayley who, though not ugly at all, spent nowhere near the time on her looks!
Gillian's pride had been crushed as she realized that the beauty she had always prided herself on hadn't meant enough to Ryan. Hayley's simpler looks had been more enticing to him.
In fact, he had said Hayley was more real while Gillian's peroccupation with clothes,hair, and makeup made her seem artificial and shallow.
Since then, she had never wanted to hear from him how beautiful she looked- it almost angered her now how she had sought out that very reaction from him once.
"Paintings are beautiful, Ryan," she said simply. "Flowers, gardens, castles are beautiful... but they have no soul, no life. That's not beautiful- that's only the outside. Outside beauty is not beautiful. Just easy to look at and compliment and then forget."
Ryan knew he had made a mistake somehow, but nevertheless, he told her honestly,
"You'll always be beautiful to me anyway, Princess, but I guess I made that seem so important, maybe. You just always seemed to love hearing it."
"I did, didn't I?" she admitted.
"I love everything about you," Ryan assured her.
She gave him a bigger smile and let the matter drop.
"Gillian, how does a man say,'You are everything.' to his love and have that mean everything he wants to say? I can't seem to bring it out to you now even though I'm feeling these things."
One of his teardrops fell onto the back of her hand.
She silently bent her head and kissed it.
"I think we were together somehow even before we met- you know, like we were destined somehow in each life." Gillian said. "All I know is this feels right with you...with us. It always did even when I didn't want it to and I couldn't understand it."
Ryan nodded. "Our own baby, Gilli," he said in amazement. "I don't know what to say."
He had so many dreams for his child already, he didn't know where to begin...except with lots of love.
He heart was swelling inside him with a joy that felt so heavy, he thought it would fall out of his chest any minute!
He plied her with questions now, pratically delerious with his euphoria and she patiently answered each of them, his good feeling already having rubbed off on her.
"My angel's given me another angel." he marveled to her.
"What do we do now?" she asked him, smiling like the sly fox.
"I have some ideas..." he said winking...
end of part 45
(to be continued...)
Next time: Ryan and Gillian's night continues...