"This Time Around"
By: gb
Chapter 44
Gillian walked out of the hospital in a happy daze and carrying her normal totebag plus a bag small shopping bag she got at the pharmacy.
Mateo parked his car, got out, and closing the door behind saw Gillian across the way and waved.
She walked up to him and without saying anything, wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug!
"Whoa!" he laughed as the two disentangled their arms from each other. "Wow! What's up? Win the lottery?"
"Better!" she exclaimed, almost singing the word.
"Tell me, 'cause you sure can't leave it this and expect to just go about my day now." he smiled at her, still holding her free hand.
She bit her lip and smiled devilishly. "I can't!"
"Gillian...some friend you're turning out to be!" he scolded her good naturedly.
"Soon, Mateo...I promise!!!" she promised as she hugged him again and said she had to get home. "I'll tell you at our next meeting this week!"
"I'm going to hold you to that, Sweetie!" he waved her off and then headed inside to find Hayley who was there for a checkup.
Later that evening...
Ryan glanced anxiously at his watch while on break at SOS. Only a little while longer until he'd be enjoying his night with Gillian, he thought happily.
When he came back to the bar, Mateo called him over.
"What's up?" he asked.
"I need a favor," said Mateo. "I just got a call from my mother- she's not feeling too well. I'm going over to her place. Can you help me out? Can you drive Hayley back to the condo?"
Ryan shrugged. "Sure, no problem. Is your mom alright?"
"I'm sure it's nothing serious, but I just want to check it out." Mateo said. "I really don't want to ask this, but can you stay there until I get back- there's gonna be a storm and I really don't want Hayley by herself."
Ryan hesitated. he wanted to get back to Wildwind. "I don't know...See, Gillian and I sort of have plans later..."
Mateo hesitated. He remembered how happy Gillian was when he had seen her yesterday and knew that she and Ryan had some major things planned. But, he really needed this right now. He'd explain it to Gillian himself and would call her tomorrow.
"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important," Mateo pressed, guiltily. " I really won't be late."
Ryan finally thought it would be ok. "Sure, no problem."
"Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. I'll go tell Hayley."
Ryan nodded. He knew he was the last person Mateo wanted to ask, so it must be really important to him after all.
Still, he'd call Gillian anyway and let her know he would be a little late...
Gillian, meanwhile, had been busy planning their evening. She was about to take a shower when Ryan called.
She didn't think anything about taking Hayley home, but tried to hide her disappointment about Ryan having to stay there. She told him she hoped he didn't get caught in the storm.
Ryan sensed that although Gillian didn't say so, she was sad that he was staying over at Hayley's and Mateo's instead of coming right home.
He and Hayley had driven to her condo in silence and then spent an hour going over club business.
When Ryan thought Matt would be there any minute, he called to say he was still with his mother.
"Hayley has the keys to the condo next door," he told Ryan. "Feel free to crash there if you get tired." he said.
The storm was not as bad as they had expected and mostly was just steady rain.
Ryan flipped through a magazine while Hayley went and changed from her simple, navy blue, short top and mini skirt into some baggy pajamas and one of Mateo's robes.
She noticed Ryan looking at his watch alot and trying not to look anxious to leave. After Mateo's call, he called Gillian again.
Hayley apologized for keeping him from leaving, but inside, she wasn't too disappointed about having his company.
"Look, Ryan," she told him. "It's raining anyway. Why don't you just sleep over- get some rest. I'm sure Gillian wouldn't want you to drive in the rain."
"It's not too bad," he said. "Anyway, Matt said you had the keys to Raquel's old place across the way."
At the mention of Mateo's ex-wife, Hayley tensed, though Ryan didn't notice.
Out loud, she said, "Ryan, don't be silly. Max's room is just over there. It's really nice- Mateo got his son the most comfortable bed."
"Hayley...I can't stay here." Ryan said carefully.
"Why because Gillian won't let you?" she wanted to know. Her tone was more sharp than she had intended.
"Gillian knows I wouldn't do anything to hurt our relationship now. She means too much to me." Ryan stated.
"So what's the problem?" she asked.
"Hayley, try and understand. Gillian made plans for us that we really wanted. I know emergencies happen, but I can't just brush her plans aside and sleep over with you and think that she'll understand and act like that's ok. She'll feel the slight too much even if she never says anything."
"So, you're going to walk over eggshells for the rest of your life?" asked Hayley. "Not a great way to go through it. Mateo didn't have a problem with this."
"Believe me. Mateo has more problems than you know. That's why he offered to let me sleep next door and not here. He's just putting up with me. And I'm not walking over eggshells. when you care about keeping your relationship, you need to consider the other person's feelings. That's something I didn't do when Gillian and I were married."
"But if you have to constantly second guess everything, is it possible that you don't want to admit you don't have as much feeling for her anymore?"
Ryan never noticed before how much Hayley sometimes wasn't willing to consider someone else's emotions besides her own.
He got up and paced and then turned to her.
"All my life, I wondered what it was like to be loved and cared for and wanted. I never knew until Gillian came around. This is going to sound really corny, but that was like...I don't know, spring after a cold, hard winter.
"She loves me and she shows it- every day, she finds a way to let me see that. Even when I was pushing her away, she loved all the pieces of my broken heart together, somehow, Hayley.I felt...worthwhile for the first time in my life.
"I love Gillian. I didn't have to go back to her. I was the one who did the chasing here. I'll never be happy without her. I thought you understood that."
Ryan was very quiet when he finished.
"I do," Hayley answered."And I felt those same things with Mateo- crazy as that sounds. But what if you were stuck here and couldn't go next door? Would she throw a fit?"
"It's wrong to use excuses like that to be insensitive. That's not the situation."
"Boy, she's really got walking a straight line,here this time. Suit yourself. I'll go get the keys." marveled Hayley.
She was angry because he was thinking of someone else other than her! Obviously, Hayley didn't think Ryan being here was any big deal, so she really felt that everyone else including Matt, Gillian, and he should just go along with her. Why had he never seen this before?!
"Hayley," he called after her, but she cut him off.
"I just can't believe you would let Gillian dictate our friendship!"
"I'm not. Gillian knows we'll always be best friends. But she wouldn't understand this...not inside and that hurts me."
Hayley just nodded slowly.
"I'll always be your friend. I hope I can always be here for you. But now, there's gonna be times when she's gonna come first. I want Gillian with me forever!"
Hayley found it hard to doubt his words.
"Ok."
"I thought you wanted to patch things up with her- be friends again." continued Ryan.
"I do...I want us to work things out." she admitted.
"Then be a friend and understand that she's never gonna be totally comfortable with our friendship and realize there are limits."
Back at Wildwind, Gillian stared glumly at the table of food she had set up in the bedroom. The candles had melted down and the food was cold and Ryan still hadn't arrived. The rain had mostly stopped now. At her foot, Sajan, with his new flea collar and neck bell, looked up at her. He gently pawed her toes.
"He's not here yet," Gillian told him sadly. "Your daddy's still at Aunt Hayley's..."
She was dressed in silk pajama pants and loose, short, sleeveless top in the lightest peach and she was wearing Ryan's favorite body lotion.
She glanced over at the bed where she laid out Ryan's favorite plush, deep forest green bathrobe.
The mosquito net glowed in the soft lighting of the room as she remembered their unexpected and unusually tense lovemaking that morning.
Gillian actually blushed as she recalled how she had been so overcome with emotion for him, that she had kneeled before him and taking that throbbing part of him in her hands had loved him in that unorthodox way!
She put her fingers to her face to cool her skin!
Looking at her hands, she could still feel him in them, so vital and utterly masculine!
What Ryan must have thought about her brazen ways! she told herself.
Then they had been like two wild animals, mating on the bed shamelessly while she was still half dressed!
But instead of feeling ashamed, all she felt was was her love for Ryan growning in her heart with each second as she still heard his desperate pleas for her love! His words were so innocent, so torchured, they haunted her even now, hours later.
Coming back to the present, Gillian tried to convince herself that he would be here any minute, but her hopes were fading fast...
Hayley stared quietly at a photo of her and Mateo, then looked back at Ryan.
"I'm sorry I got an attitude problem just earlier," she said with a healthy dose of guilt.
"I'm really glad that you and Gillian are working things out."
Hayley wasn't sure she meant it, but she and Ryan were friends and it's what made him happy. She would just live with the fact that she'd have to deal with his very real love for Gillian.
Ryan smiled. "Good friends can get through their disagreements...and attitude problems."
Gillian saw the late hour on the clock and picked up Sajan and put him on the bed.
she sat in one of the plush chairs by the window.
Sajan chewed on a towel that had become his favorite toy now, batting it between his paws.
Thinking now that she wouldn't see Ryan until morning at least, she finally let sleep take over as she saw her beautiful, important evening collapse around her...
Ryan was about to take the keys from Hayley when Mateo came through his front door.
Ryan was happy not to have to stay anymore and got up to leave after learning that Mateo's mom was fine now.
Mateo still offered him the place next door, but he shook his head.
"Thanks, but I want to get back to Gillian. The rain's gone anyway."
Ryan made only one stop before reaching Wildwind Castle and in a few minutes, came through the door of his room.
Gillian slept so peacefully in the chair, but the cat was fully awake, watching over her.
Sajan narrowed his eyes into slits and stared at Ryan accusingly.
"I know, Buddy, I blew it!" he admitted, somewhat in shame. "But, I'm gonna make it up to her, I promise!"
Sajan didn't blink- obviously waiting for proof of Ryan's words before he let him off the hook.
He walked over and picked Gillian up carefully and placed his beautiful wife on the bed and kissed her deeply as she came awake...
end of part 44
(to be continued...)
Next time: Gillian and Ryan share a very special night that reveals a beautiful surprise!