The next month was a little scary, I quickly became a talking point and well-known around Tulsa, but I was in top of the world.
I'd get approached in the street by fans and asked all sorts of stuff.
Tay and I were close as can be and he was home a lot more regularly so we got to do the typical boyfriend-girlfriend stuff.
It was pretty freaky, people knowing me, but Tay, Ike, Zac and my friends were great.
It was during a radio interview I was with the guys at that I started to really think about where Tay and I were headed.
The guys were discussing their future when I suddenly became filled with a feeling of dismay.
Not once during the interview did they mention time for relationships or even friends, it all revolved around their music.
I knew music was their whole world and all and there was no way I was thinking of taking it off them, it's just that I was a little disappointed that Tay didn't seem to picture me as a part of his immediate future.
I was sitting there pondering this thought when there was a break in the interview and Tay came over.
'Hey! Whatcha doing?' he asked, sitting down beside me.
'Great interview!' I told him, clearing my head.
'Yeah, it's fun. What were you doing? You looked so deep in thought just then.'
'Just thinking.'
'What about?'
'Us.'
'Huh? What do mean?' he leaned in and took my hand.
'Tay, where do I fit into your plans for the future? I mean, I'm not asking you to pledge your life to me or anything….it's just, am I there at all? Or is all this for nothing?'
He looked a little hurt.
'What do you mean? Of course you are there! You really mean something to me. Why would I not want you in my future?'
'You just seem so wrapped up in your music, and that's great. I just don't want to stand in your way.'
'Peta! Why would you possibly think that? You mean a lot to me.' he looked pained.
I turned my head so he wouldn't see the tear that was dangerously close to falling from my eye.
He was about to say something when he was called back into the interview room.
He planted a soft kiss on my cheek before left me.
As I sat and watched the interview, I noticed a change in Tay.
He looked different, sad, his upbeat, cool manner shadowed by a veil of sadness.
Through the glass, I watched him automatically answer the questions, the meaning in his voice all but gone.
I felt really bad.
There was another gap, not long enough for him to come out to me, but long enough for a song.
I watched Tay lean over to the announcer.
The announcer nodded and hit a button.
Tay's voice floated through.
'…….for Peta. A big part of my present AND my future.'
A song started to play.
'I hear a voice in my mind I know her face by heart/Heaven and earth are moving, in my soul, I don't know where to start/Tell me tell me, the words to define, the way I feel about someone so fine….. e'
I felt like crying.
'How do you talk to an angel, how do you hold her close, to where you are, how do you talk to an angel, it's like trying to catch a falling star……e'
Tay looked at me through the window. He looked sad.
Ike and Zac were motioning with their hands and saying something I couldn't catch.
Finally, Walker had to come out of the booth and tell me that I was wanted in the booth. I got up and walked over, trying not to cry.
'Tonight I dreamed that she is there, and I can feel her in the air/ Heaven and earth are moving in my soul I don't know where to start/ Tell me tell me, the words to define, the way I feel about someone so fine….. e'
'How do you talk to an angel, how do you hold her close, to where you are, how do you talk to an angel, it's like trying to catch a falling star……e'
As soon as I opened the door to the studio, Tay stood up, rushed over and hugged me hard.
'Oh Tay!' I murmured into his shoulder.
We hugged for awhile before he was told to go back into the booth to finish the interview.
I watched from outside.
My boyfriend.
And I was never letting go.
Tay and the rest of the Hanson family had to leave for New York the next day and weren't to return for nearly two months.
I thought I was going to die.
Sarah held party after party and although I enjoyed them and she was one of my best friends, I found myself dreading her parties and trying to come up with excuses not to go.
All the dancing and flirting and sometimes drinking was wearing me thin.
So when the phone rang a month after Tay left, I had already made up my excuse.
'Hello?'
'Peta! Guess who is the guest of honor at my party tomorrow night?' Sarah gushed.
'No idea. Who?' Of course I was just BURSTING to know.
'Will Estes! You know! Will Estes! The same Will Estes who was in 'Kirk' and is moving to our school!'
Now THIS had me interested.
'Excuse me?!' I squeaked.
'Didn't you know?! Will Estes is moving to OUR school next week, to star in 'Secrets and Lies'!' she was squealing now.
'You're kidding! But he's twenty!'
'No! I'm not! I am deadly serious! I found out today! I know he's twenty. Ok, technically, he's not going going to our school, he's only coming to be in the show. But he's moving to Bixby! Near Tay!'
I was in shock.
'Wooah! This is amazing! To be in 'Secrets and Lies'? Why? How?'
'Look, come over now and I'll fill you in. Matt and Jill are here too!'
'Ok ok! I'm coming! But why is he coming here?'
'Just get over here!' and she hung up.
I couldn't believe it.
Gorgeous Will Estes was coming to be in 'Secrets and Lies'!
I loved him!
Wow! I had to get over to Sarah's.
I flew out the front door and ran all the way to her house.
So much for the excuse.
Ok, so to cut a long story short;
Will was a friend of our drama teacher, Mrs Green's nephew and she'd told him all about the show. He'd been interested, told his manager and decided to come on down to good ol' Tulsa and be in it! This was definitely going to boost our chances of being on TV!
He was coming, officially in a week, but was coming over tomorrow just to meet everyone.
And I was soooo nervous about meeting him.
Saturday night arrived and Sarah and I were jumping out of our skins.
'Does he know where to come?'
'Yeah, I gave Mrs Green my address.'
'What times he coming?'
'I told her eight.'
'Do you think he'll be on time?'
'I don't know. What if he doesn't show at all?'
'Girls! Jeez! You're pathetic! Of course he'll show! I don't know what the big deal is anyway!' Matt mumbled, tossing chips into his mouth.
'He's only a sexy TV star!' Sarah and shouted at the same time.
'But we wouldn't expect you to understand.' Sarah quipped.
'No. Because the fact that he is soooo hot and famous and he want's to be in our show is too blasé for you to worry about.' I added, checking myself in the mirror for the fiftieth time.
'Oh! I see! But the fact that you have an equally, if not more famous, boyfriend yet are drooling majorly over some guy has not escaped my attention.' He raised his eyebrows at me.
I just rolled my eyes.
Like I was going to do anything more than drool anyway.
Plus, Will was twenty. What would he want with a sixteen year old?
By nine-thirty, Will still hadn't shown and Sarah and I were trying to forget our disappointment and have a good time.
But the thought that he hadn't shown was still there.
I was busy talking away when I noticed a face I hadn't seen before looking intently in my direction.
It belonged to a very hot guy, and feeling confident, I smiled at him.
He smiled back but I didn't have the faintest clue who he was.
About half an hour later, I was getting a drink from the fridge when I felt a tap on the shoulder.
I turned around to come face to face with the same guy.
'Ah, hi.'
'Hi. I just happened to notice you when I walked in but then I lost you. So, now I've found you again, I was wondering if you could tell me where I can find Peta Thomas, I have been told to meet her. And I was going to ask you your name too.' He smiled and I nearly fell over.
song credit The Heights, "How do you talk to an angel?"
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