Hanson left the day after Tay slept at my house and although I was excited for them and happy as we saw them off at the airport, I was slowly dying inside.
I had known from the start that I liked Tay, but hey, I knew that when he was only a pop idol to me.
Now that he was my friend and I knew him inside out, my feelings suddenly became crystal clear and more intense.
I was in love with him and everything about him and I knew that every time I was with him, I was happy, even though it hurt like crazy.
He was so close, yet so far.
I was the last one he said good-bye at the airport. He came and hugged me.
'Wish as luck! We are gonna rock this country!'
'I know! Believe me, you don't need me to wish you luck! But I will anyway! Break a leg Tay!'
'Hey I don't think we need that!' Ike came up behind and hugged me too.
'Sorry!'
Zac came up too and started kicking Tay in the leg.
'What the heck are you doing?' Tay asked bewildered.
'Well, you said you were gonna break your leg. I thought I may as well help you.'
'Zac, an expression. It's only an expression.'
Zac shrugged.
Five minutes later they were gone.
The next two months they were away actually went by pretty fast.
School was good and 'Secrets and Lies' won an award at an Oklahoma High Schools award thingy.
I got regular letters from the guys, Ike's being the most informative, Zac's the maddest and Tay's by far the longest.
Everyday I looked forward to checking the mailbox for letters.
They also rang me a couple of times.
One time while I spoke to Zac, I could hear a song playing in the background.
'Whattcha listening too?' I asked him.
'Oh, damn Tay has this new obsession with these sloooooooow sad songs. This is just another one of 'em. 'Right here waiting' or something.' Zac groaned.
'Hey! That's a good song! There's nothing wrong with it.'
'Yeah, it's ok, I guess, the first time! But after about twenty, you kinda want to kill the dude singing it. And this whole sappy song faze is really wearing us all thin.'
When Tay got on the phone, I asked him about it.
He was a little distant and tried to change the subject a few times.
I didn't think anything of it.
That night I was listening to the radio when the 'Love song dedications' came on. I wasn't surprised when a Taylor someone requested a song because hey, how many Taylor's are there in the country? And we were only friends anyway.
But when the song turned out to be 'Right here waiting' I was a little surprised.
As I was listening, the words began to make sense to me.
……Oceans apart, day after day, and I slowly go insane. I hear your voice on the line, but it doesn't stop the pain. If I see you next to never, how can we stay forever? Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you……..
It was exactly how I felt about Tay.
song credit Richard Marx, "Right here waiting"
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