Author's notes: ^_^

This is a TouyaxYukito shounenai romance. Yay! ^_^ I'm sure you're probably here because of that fact, but in case you didn't know, this is a love story between two guys. Wai! ^_^

You may have read my other TouyaxYukito fanfic, so you should probably know that this one isn't a lemon (but there's always the sequel, hehe ^_-).

Yes, I know I'm using too much Japanese. But I can't help it, because it seems to fit the characters better than having them say the same thing in English. ^^;;; There's a mini dictionary of pharses and terms at the end of the story.

Okay, about the plot. This contains *spoilers* if you haven't read up to and including the August '99 Nakayoshi and anime episode 27. So read at your own risk. I sort of took certain liberties with the plot, though. This is *not* meant to fit into the existing CCS story. Think of it as putting all the magical CCS things on hold. ^^; Oh, and as a warning, I mention The Evil One (you should know who that is if you're a TouyaYukito fan). But it's actually in a good way...

CLAMP is god. Cardcaptor Sakura and all characters in this fanfic are owned by CLAMP, NHK, and Kodansha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tegami
(The Letter)
By Andrea Doolan
Rated: PG
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*~*~*~*~
(flashback)

"Yukito-san, you also have a person you love best, so that’s how you knew, right?" said Sakura looking a little sad, but somehow happy at the same time.

"...sou da ne."

"...Oniichan desu ka?"

"...un."

(end flashback)
~*~*~*~*~

Yukito sighed to himself, and ran his thin fingers through his white hair. "But I still don’t know how you feel, do I, To-ya?" he thought. Ever since he had transferred in the middle of 1st year, Yukito had thought of Touya as more than just a friend. At first, he thought he just admired the other boy. But he quickly realised that it went further than that. They began spending more and more time together, and by the end of 1st year, Yukito knew who had control of his heart. He loved Touya deeply and with a passion that was getting harder and harder to suppress. The only problem was, Yukito had no idea how Touya felt in return.

However, there were certain times when Yukito could just swear that Touya felt the same way. Sometimes it was look. Other times it was a touch, an action, or a word. At these times, Yukito’s heart filled with joy. But doubt would always flood his mind, and he forced himself to think of these times as acts of mere friendship. "They had to be," he thought. "To-ya wouldn’t think of me in that way."

Would he?

Yukito shut his eyes, and tried to drive the tormenting thoughts from his mind. He gathered his blankets around him, and tried desperately to go to sleep. It was all to no avail. The image of the very attractive brunette attacked his every thought. It looked like he was in for another sleepless night.

~*~*~*~*~

"Yo, Yuki," greeted Touya as he rode up on his bike.

"Ohayou, To-ya," said Yukito as he pushed off with his own bike.

"You don’t look so well today. Doushitano?"

Yukito shook his head. "Nan demo nai... I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night."

"Mata? You’ve been having that a lot lately."

"I’m sure it’ll stop soon." Liar. "I’ve just sort of got something on my mind."

"E?" Touya looked at his friend inquisitively. "What sort of thing?"

Yukito laughed and smiled. "Really, it’s nothing. I’ll be fine soon."

"Just be careful, okay? We can’t have you falling asleep in class."

Yukito gave him a bright smile. He may have seemed calm on the outside, but on the inside his stomach was doing summersaults. He saw the concern in his friend’s eyes, and wanted to believe that something else was there as well. "Wishful thinking," he thought.

~*~*~*~*~

After school, Yukito gathered his books, and headed for the soccer field. Edging his way through crowds of screaming girls, he made his way to the sidelines. He smiled as he saw Touya running down the field, and successfully shooting the ball into the net. Touya looked up and waved when he saw his friend. Yukito waved back, and indicated that he would wait for him over by the shaded area to the left of the soccer field. Touya nodded in understanding, and went back to his practice.

When Yukito got to his waiting spot, he spread his schoolbooks out, and immediately started on his homework. If he was really efficient, he might be able to get it all done before Touya was finished with practice. As he started on his philosophy reading, he found he had an even harder time trying to concentrate than usual. He couldn’t afford to let thoughts of Touya get the better of him this time, though. As difficult as it was, he cleared his mind, and continued on his reading of Plato’s _The Cave_.

"Shadows of puppets, eh? Maybe I am just imagining things..."

Several hours passed, and Yukito was now well into his Algebra/Geometry homework. He furrowed his brows, trying to understand what the textbook was saying. "To get the cross product of UxV, you have to...wakaranai..."

"Here, I’ll show you," said a newly arrived voice. "See, you just have to memorise this formula..."

"Ah! Wakatta! Arigatou, To-ya."

"No problem. Now, where to do you want to go this time?"

"Hmm...it’s such a beautiful day. How about we get some crepes in the park?"

"Sure," he said with a slight smile, one Yukito almost missed.

Sometimes, when they were out like this together, Yukito liked to imagine that they were on a date. He blushed a little at this idea, but smiled in spite of himself.

Yukito decided on five chocolate ones, two strawberry, one blueberry, and two raspberry. Touya just looked at him, and shook his head while holding one chocolate crepe.

"But I couldn’t decide which one I liked better," protested Yukito. "So I did the only humane thing. I got them all." He flashed one of his famous smiles.

Touya sighed, and started to walk in the direction of the playground. Cries of happy children could be heard throughout the park. As well as dogs barking, and the ever-present sound of crickets in the background.

The pair made idle conversation about school, work, and Sakura. The latter they spent a lot of time on, considering all that had been happening lately. All of a sudden, Touya stopped, and started to laugh hard.

"What?" asked a surprised Yukito. "What’s so funny?"

"Nothing," said Touya between giggles, "just the chocolate dripping from your chin."

Yukito looked aghast, and went to quickly wipe it away, but Touya stopped him.

"Here, let me." Touya drew his face in just centimetres from Yukito’s. Yukito could feel Touya’s hot breath on his face; could see the juicy lips just waiting for him... Touya slowly took his finger and wiped the offending chocolate away. He then stuck the finger into his mouth, and sucked.

"Kami!" thought Yukito. "What’s he trying to do to me? Doesn’t he realise how...erotic this is?" This was definitely one of the times Yukito thought he could see Touya’s emotions quite clearly. But, just as quickly as it happened, Touya gave him a swift whomp on the back, and started to laugh again.

"Be more careful next time."

Yukito looked partially shocked and partially embarrassed. Was this just his overactive imagination again? But he was sure that this time...well, then again, maybe not. Is this how typical guy friends acted? He really didn’t know.

"Ready to go?" asked Touya.

"Un!" replied Yukito.

~*~*~*~*~

The pair walked up to Touya's house, and were about to open the door when a sheer force of energy came bounding out, almost landing right on top of Yukito.

Sakura, now lying on the porch, was holding her head, and looked a little dazed.

"Sakura-chan!" exclaimed Yukito. "Daijoubu desu ka?"

She laughed nervously. "He...heki heki. Hontou ni gomen nasai, Yukito-san. I was late to go over to Tomoyo-chan's, and I wasn't really paying attention..."

"Ba~ka," said her brother. "Omae wa ooki na kaijuu da na."

Sakura balled her fists, and tried to look as big and frightening as possible (which, all things considered, was relatively impossible). "*Sakura kaijuu ja nai mon!!*" Her brother just patted her on the head, and stopped her from flailing her arms at him.

Suddenly Sakura stopped, and looked from Touya to Yukito several times. A large smile came over her face, and she blushed a little. "Ne, Yukito-san... Have you been with Oniichan all afternoon?"

"Uh...hai," said a slightly confused Yukito. "I waited until he was done soccer practice, and then we got some crepes in the park."

"Aa, sou desu ka?" she said with an even bigger smile. Then she leaned in and whispered in his ear, "did you have a fun time on your date?"

Yukito went a *very* dark shade of red. "Ha...hai!"

Touya looked perplexed. "What the..."

"It's okay, Oniichan. You'll understand soon, I hope. And don't forget, Yukito-san, I'll still beat him up if you need me!"

Yukito laughed. "Arigatou, Sakura-chan."

Touya looked more confused than ever. "Ano na..."

"Ja~ ne, Yukito-san, Oniichan!"

"Bai bai, Sakura-chan," called Yukito.

"Are you going to tell me what all that was about?"

Yukito just flashed him a smile. "We really should get started on organising the summer class trip..."

Touya relented with a sigh, and went into the house.

~*~*~*~*~

Since this was their 3rd year, the graduating class wanted to go somewhere special for their summer vacation. University entrance exams would still be six or seven months away, so they could afford to take a five day vacation from their summer homework. Touya had volunteered to be -- or was roped into being, depending on how you looked at it -- the head of the committee this year.. He asked Yukito if he wanted to help, and of course he said yes. They were still in the preliminary stages of planning, but they both new it would be a really fun time.

"Can you organise the stuff while I make tea?" called Touya from the kitchen.

"Sure," said Yukito as he began spreading out various trip plans on the coffee table in the living room. "Ne, do you know where the list of teachers interested in going is?"

"Oh, damn," called Touya. I think I left it in my room. I'll go get it as soon as I'm done.

"I can get it," offered Yukito.

"Thanks. Um, I think it's in my top desk drawer."

"No problem, I'll be back in a sec," said Yukito, already climbing the stairs.

He admired the neatly kept house as he walked down the second floor hallway. Everything always seemed so nice and fresh. He opened the door to Touya's room, and walked in. He couldn't help but notice how the neatness carried into Touya's room as well. Everything was always in its place. He glanced over at the bed, but quickly turned away when his thoughts began leading him off track.

He opened the top drawer of the desk, and visually searched for what might be the list. One piece of notepaper was sticking out from underneath some schoolbooks, so he reached in to take it out. He opened the folded piece of paper, and began to read. Suddenly he stopped dead. His face went white, and his hands began to shake. His mind was spinning so much that he thought he might fall over. This was not the list of teachers. This was something very, very different. It read:

Yuki e,

We've known each other for several years now. Over that

period of time, we really got to know one another, and became

friends. You've been a great friend to me, always supportive,

caring, and fun to be around. I realised a while ago...chigau.

I realised the first day I met you that you were quite possibly

the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen. Both inside and out.

I love you. There, I've said it. The words are finally out

there. Now what? To be truthful, I've had a feeling that you

might think of me as more than a friend. I think we've been

acting as more than friends for quite some time without even

realising it. But I still don't know how you'll react. Maybe

you'll reject me completely. Then I'll feel like an ass, eh?

But I felt that I just had to say it. I'm sorry it had to be in

a letter. I almost feel like one of those annoying girls always

leaving their letters in my shoe locker. However, the spoken

words just never seem to be there. When you get this letter, I

want you to be true to your heart. Please don't be afraid to

hurt my feelings. I really want the best for *you*. You can

respond, or even ignore this if you want to. Just do what you

think is right.

Your friend,
Kinomoto Touya yori


"Oi! Yuki! What's taking you so long?" called Touya as he came up the stairs. You get lost or something-...." He trailed off as he rounded the corner, and saw his friend with the piece of paper. Yukito's eyes went wide, and he dropped the paper out of shock. Touya stared down at it, and three little words seemed to jump out at him. "I love you."

"To-ya!" Yukito seemed to back away a little bit. "I'm...I'm... I didn't mean to... I thought that it was... I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have." He didn't know why, but tears were starting to well up.

Touya just calmly stared at the paper, and then back up at Yukito. Yukito couldn't read his expression at all. Touya began to turn and leave.

"Matte!" called Yukito. "Don't you want to... Don't you want to talk about this?" there was a slight note of desperation in his voice.

Instead of walking out of the room, Touya went to his bed instead, and sat down. Yukito saw it as in invitation to do the same.

After several minutes of deafening silence, "I didn't mean for you to read that." Yukito kept quiet, but nodded in response to Touya's words. "I wrote that about a month ago. I was going to give it to you the next day, but I chickened out. I kept saying to myself that I would give it to you, but of course I never did. I was...scared."

Yukito was about to say something, but Touya started again. "I never thought I would love again after Kaho. I don't know how much you know about our relationship, but you probably guessed at a lot when she was here a while back. I met her in 2nd year junior high. She was a student teacher at the time. We were together for over a year. I told her I loved her, and she told me she loved me. Then she just...went away."

"Just like that?" asked Yukito with a sad expression.

Touya sighed. "She told me she had to go overseas. She said that it was alright, though, because the next time she saw me I would be in love again, and she would have someone, too. At the time I didn't understand at all. I even hated her--well not really *hated*, but I was really annoyed--for a long time after that. In fact, I was just starting to get over her when I met you." Touya smiled. "And then I understood. I'm almost thankful to her now, because if she hadn't left, I wouldn't have met you."

Yukito's heart skipped several beats, and the tears were now in free-fall. "Oh, Touya... I had no idea! I thought I had just imagined everything between us. Wishful thinking on my part, you might say. The truth is, for the longest time, I've loved you, too. Logically, I knew everything wasn't just in my imagination, but emotionally I just couldn't accept that you'd have feelings for me."

Touya's hand came up, and wiped the tears off his friend's face. "Baka. You didn't imagine anything." Yukito's own hand gently caressed the one touching his cheek. They both looked at each other for several moments, before moving at the same time to join in a sweet kiss. It wasn't too brief, and it lingered just long enough to let their minds race in anticipation for what would be coming in the future.

~*~*~*~*~ (raburabu)

A few days later, Yukito came over to the Kinomoto household again to work on the class trip. And to be with Touya, of course. The pair was on the couch discussing possible destinations. Hawaii, Vancouver, Hokkaidou, and "Avonlea," Prince Edward Island were all up for consideration. Sakura came into the room sipping some tea and humming a tune.

"Have you decided where you're going to go yet?" she asked.

"Well," said Yukito, "I'm kind of partial to Vancouver myself, but To-ya keeps on insisting we got to PEI."

"But I want to see Green Gables..." said the other man under his breath.

"If I were you, I'd want to go to Hawaii for sure!" said Sakura enthusiastically. "The sun, the sand, all the interesting things to do..."

"It was one of the top choices in our class poll, so we're really considering that one, too," commented Yukito.

Sakura smiled. "You two have fun! I'm going to go play some video games." She started up the stairs, but stopped when her brother called to her.

"Oh, by the way, kaijuu," he said in a teasing tone, "I won't give you any reason to beat me up."

"Hoe...." Sakura looked at him without understanding at all. Suddenly she saw how close her brother and Yukito were sitting on the couch, and the way Yukito was smiling at her. She turned very red, and laughed happily. "Omedetou!" she said before finishing the ascent to her room.

"I can hardly wait for this trip," said Yukito excitedly. "It'll be so much fun, ne?"

Touya smiled at him. "I hope to make it a very special trip..." And with that, Touya succeeded in making Yukito blush profusely at the implications of his comments, and finished things off with a long, passionate kiss.

OWARI

~*~*~*~*~

Hope you liked it. ^_^ You can send me feedback at andrea.doolan@utoronto.ca (though I hardly ever email authors, so don't feel you have to ^^).

Thanks so much to Zoisite no Miko (and her many other aliases) for proof reading my fanfic for me! Doumo arigatou gozaimasu!

I think it's so cool how the Japanese love the Anne of Green Gables books by Lucy Maude Montgomery. I grew up reading those books, and watching the TV specials. So I thought I'd make Touya a fan. ^_^

You may have noticed that I set myself up for a sequel... *evil grin* You wouldn't be completely wrong about that. ^_^

I wish you all mushy Touyayukito dreams! ^_^

Dictionary of phrases/words:

sou da ne - yes, that's right (roughly)
sou desu ka? - is that right?
Oniichan desu ka? - Is it brother?
un - yep, yeah, or yes depending on the context
doushitano - what's the matter?
nan demo nai - nothing
mata - again
e? - what?
wakaranai - I don't understand
wakatta - I understand
arigatou - thank you
kami - god
daijoubu desu ka? - are you alright?
heki - I'm fine
hontou ni gomen nasai - I'm truly very sorry
baka - stupid, idiot
omae wa ooki na kaijuu da na - you're a big monster, you know that?
kaijuu - monster (Touya's pet name for Sakura)
Sakura kaijuu jai nai mon - Sakura's not a monster
hai - yes
ano na - said in protest (e.g. Now see here...)
ja ne - see ya
Yuki e - Dear Yuki
chigau - wrong
yori - from
oi! - hey!
matte - wait
raburabu - Love love (think katakana). The term is used in a "lovey- dovey" sort of atmosphere. Mahou Tsukai Tai!'s "Mahou Club no uta" has a good example.
hoe - Sakura's trademark word when she's surprised/confused
omedetou - congratulations
owari - the end


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