Once upon a time, in a land far, far away. There lived a young one-one by the name of Eldon. Now Eldon had just returned home from leave at the land of the great PX... Eldon had heard that his "buddies" had taken to using a new fangled toy, a "soap-dish claymore". Now Eldon being a curious fellow was listening to war stories from his "buddies" about the use of this fantastic new device (toy). Eldon somehow missed a large and important point in the conversation. Now the proper way to prepare and use a "soap-dish claymore" is to use a REAL SOAP DISH, packed full of nails and C-4 and to place it in the back pouch of the users rucksack. Then when those nasty NVA come tooooooo close to the recon team, why then the 11 simply drops the ruck, pulls the clacker, drops down and fires away. The rear of the rucksack explodes and the closely pursuing enemy is faced with breathing air that is filled with deadly, high speed, flying nails!
Unfortunately for our hero, he didn't catch the important information about the use of the SOAPDISH. Our hero instead utilized a full size claymore. This was very bad because, the explosive force of a full size Claymore is much more powerful than the homemade, Soapdish Claymore. A full rucksack can protect you from the effects of an exploding Soapdish. The Rucksack offers little protection from a full sized Claymore! When those nasty NVA came toooooo close to Eldon, he simply dropped his ruck, laid down behind it and fired away...... As it happens I was on "Bright Light" for his mission and saw our hero coming to Danang on strings. "Look", said your author, "What is that hanging from Eldon's nose?" "Why it appears to be a six-foot string of bloody mucus!" I remarked to myself as they flew closer. As Eldon was being helped from his STABO rig he was heard to remark "Huhhhhhhhhh". It seems Eldon was unable to hear, his eyes were crossed and he was unable to hold any semblance of intelligent conversation for two weeks.
The moral of this story is when getting the recipe for a Soapdish claymore or any other implement of destruction, be SURE to check the ingredients with an experienced user.
Feel free to ask Eldon about this little tale from the forests of the past the next time you see him; assuming, of course, he can hear now.
Editors note: Eldon went on to become the ruler of his own kingdom after he left the Forests of SOG. The Kindom of DELTA. There he went on to perform many legendary crusades. Eldon won the respect of all who met him and this year, 1998, Eldon was promoted to General!