Use a household plant as a Christmas tree.

Leave Santa Slim Fast.

Take one light bulb out of each string of lights.

Constantly hum "Carole Of the Bells".

Put your name on all the 'To:' tags.

Watch "It's a Wonderful Life" every day till January 27th.

Boycott Eggnog.

Go to a local zoo and protest that the reindeer be set free. Don't stop until they are.

Block out all TV stations except the for the "Home Shopping Network".

Use fire flies as Christmas lights.

Don't wrap any of the presents.

Don't wrap the presents in wrapping paper, use ribbon tape.

Give every one Ebonics magazine.

Use last years Christmas tree.

Decorate the tree with pop cans. Drink one each day.

Put timers in each of the boxes.

Hide under the tree wearing a ribbon.

Find a large box, label it "Livestock Organs" and put it next to some recently wrapped presents.

Tie a guard dog to the tree.

Dress in a Halloween costume.

Steal a pie, sit in a corner and constantly stick your thumb in it.

Set traps next to the fire place.

Sing carols repeatedly.

Sing carols repeatedly out of tune.

Get a box labeled "land mines" and ask to go on the roof. When asked why say, "Just in case."

By Nick Boice Can't you tell?