Good or Bad
2/28/2000
You could never understand what you had
until you lost it.
It seems you took everything, good or bad,
and abused it.
It can be hard to tell right from wrong,
but why choose this?
You can't even say you didn't know--
you can't excuse it!
I can't understand why you tied up my head
like a little lost puppy, then left me for dead,
said you'd stay by my side, but left me instead
not for anyone else--just for your head!
You've been telling those lies all around town,
breaking me up, then tearing me down,
trying to always make me your clown.
Huh! I'm no longer buying that sound!
I won't be back at your door tonight,
won't be back yelling or bitching--no fight.
I'll turn around--I'm resetting my sights
and I'll find a better way that's right!
You could never understand what you had
until you lost it.
It seems you took everything, good or bad,
and abused it.
It can be hard to tell right from wrong,
but why choose this?
You can't even say you didn't know--
you can't excuse it!
Growing
11/24/99
If you shield your children
from all pain
how will they survive?
We don't live yet
in the finer world
we once dreamed we would build.
Our good intent
may not be
what's right for those we love.
So our best course
will sometimes be
to be there when they fall.
The little bird
will never fly
until its parents step aside.
Do many children
not grow up
because they are not trusted?
Hear Me
1/28/2000
It's been so long since I've seen you,
so long since I've heard your voice.
Do you remember me through all these years,
or were my photographs all pulled from your pages?
We were so young, so deep in love,
we didn't see the signs things were going wrong.
I didn't try to stop it till you were gone:
although you stayed with me your mind had moved on!
Can you hear me? Can you hear my call?
My voice is quieter because it's so long.
Is there anything that still can be done?
I think the time is past to be moving on!
I walk the streets at night, watching my feet,
face turned from the light, feeling my defeat,
and troubled memories creep from the darkness.
O how I wish I could kiss the lips I miss!
How far must I walk through this night
before I find another day or light?
At least I know, now that you're gone,
you will be happier now that we are done!
Can you hear me? Can you hear my call?
My voice is quieter because it's so long.
Is there anything that still can be done?
I think the time is past to be moving on!
Heartbreak
2/9/99
When I last saw you
your eyes and words tore me apart,
told me how free you had to be,
each a dagger in my heart!
This isn't the first time
that you carried on this way,
but when I ask you why,
the only thing you say:
"It's just another heartbreak!"
It seemed that it happened
all too often, you would fly
into a rage, and you would say
things we could not put behind!
I felt I was bleeding,
a thousand cuts and verbal wounds.
Why does it hurt to be free?
It isn't simple as it sounds!
It's just another heartbreak!
You were my chosen,
the only one whom I could love,
then you left me like an old coat in a station
and flew off like a dove!
We shared so many years,
cried so many tears.
How could it turn out this way?
Why did you say,
"It's just another heartbreak?"
Apology
11/10/2000
I'm sorry
for all the times
I didn't remember
exactly what you wanted.
I'm sorry
I don't always
know
what's in your mind.
I've never been
quite perfect:
I've always been
so messy
with my life, and
with my time.
I'm sorry that I'm not
so absolutely organized
that I lay out
in my mind
what I'm to do
each day,
and I'm sorry that you feel
it has to be that way.
I'm sorry for the time
I put the key in my wrong pocket.
I know it cost us so much time--
a few minutes, anyway!
I'm sorry for the many times
I tried to make things better,
but it was too late,
and I know I should have known!
I'm sorry for my sloppy life
that isn't planned and scheduled
with lists of things to do
tacked on
every calendar day.
I don't know how I ever thought
that I could get through life
without those lists
and detailed plans
you leave me every morning.
Somehow, I did.
I'm sorry for that remark.
That wasn't fair:
it was
out of place.
Sorry!
I'm sorry for the hair
I leave in the shower.
When I'm there
each follicle screams, "Sorry!"
as it lets go, and it falls.
I'm sorry for the magazines
and newspapers unread
that pile on my endtable.
I'm sorry that I don't move
faster in the morning,
sorry I've held you back
as you so often say.
Most of all,
I'm sorry that I'm sorry
we ever got together.
I'm sorry, but we're parting,
each to go a way.
You always say it's not enough
to tell you that I'm sorry.
I guess we'll have to start again,
each going separate way.
Hidden Things
10/2/2000
We met again for lunch,
across the table.
Through coffee's steam
I looked in your eyes.
The makeup didn't
quite hide the bruise
and I didn't say
the things I knew.
I wondered what
was troubling you
and you clouded,
then the sun broke through.
"My son," you said,
"he makes me proud,
but I wonder what
he's doing now.
He's far away,
more than a day
and I can't afford
to fly."
I knew you when
you were a princess,
and though we were close
somehow we couldn't touch.
I guess your majesty
just seemed too much.
I stayed a friend,
sure it would end.
It didn't turn out so:
I watched them come and go.
Now you turn to me
and ask what I see.
I look at your eyes
and see your future,
but can't tell you the way
to turn it away.
Honesty
4/27/2000
You always liked to dress to please:
it seemed to satisfy your needs.
Now you change most every day,
another mask, another play.
You often told me of the things
that you said you want to do.
Now I see different when I think:
that picture wasn't really you.
Why o why now can't you see
I want the truth, it won't scare me.
You cast your lies like nets at sea
when all I want is honesty!
The actor selling on TV
seems sincere, but he really
plays his role. His part is keyed
to sell us things we do not need.
But it doesn't matter if the product's good
or if it does all that it should.
Painted plastic is good as wood,
and we don't care--as though we could!
Why o why now can't you see
I want the truth, it won't scare me.
You cast your lies like nets at sea
when all I want is honesty!
We're led by Eliot's hollow men:
image without bulk or brain.
Yet in the end it seems the same:
we just look to relieve our pain.
If they steal it does not hurt
as long as there is no alert,
so do not think of probing deep
or you may disturb your sleep.
Why o why now can't you see
I want the truth, it won't scare me.
You cast your lies like nets at sea
when all I want is honesty!
How can I hope to find my way
without a role or part to play?
Can I find a place to be
where I can keep my honesty?
I can't take shelter in a part
or hope to hide my questing heart.
I'll have to challenge every day
and hope to pioneer my way.
But I must ask my honesty
if it's illusion leading me.
It is so easy to deceive
yourself to thinking you are free.
I Dreamed of You
4/19/99
I dreamed of you
since I was thirteen:
I never thought we'd meet.
I wandered
so far away from you,
I never
felt complete.
Now you are calling--
you're coming in on waves--
I hear you always
in my head,
and in my dreams,
I could scream
it almost seems
that without you I am dead!
Your smile gives life to me,
it's my light in darkest night.
Now I'll never want to be
anywhere but in your sight!
I dreamed of you
since I was thirteen:
I never thought we'd meet.
Echoes
10/23/2000
Lady, o my lady,
It's been so long!
I look for you daily,
But I think you're gone!
I always kept so busy
and never had the time-
you asked so little, surely
if I tried you'd still be mine!
Have I told you I've been lonely,
or did I think it weak
to venture from my fortress,
crack my heart, or even speak?
Now lady, my dear lady
I await the morning bell.
My head sags, and my eyes are heavy
as I wonder where you are.
I wonder at the folly
that caused me to discount
the value of the time we shared
before our love was spent!
Now I wander through my mornings,
explore my empty room,
experiencing yearnings
I wish I had felt sooner!
Erosion
5/26/99
Time
washes through me like a river:
pieces
are slowly washed away.
Other
features have grown larger:
sand
that builds up in a stream.
Why
have I become an island,
watching
that water passing by?
Bridges
I built to reach others
somehow
stood the stress of time.
But I
still feel I am an island
watching
that water passing by.
Every Day
1/20/99
Every day
the new creation
that's pumping life
into our lives
does not insure
times are not boring:
that is our choice
if we go slack.
There is a world
beyond the window
and there is wind
beyond the pane.
Come out and join
into the action:
don't stay encased
by glass embraced!
Come out, employ
all of your senses;
come out, enjoy
the kiss of life.
Why do you wait,
let your life drift
until it's late--
less time is left!
So do not sit
behind your window
and think about
the things you'll do.
It's time to go
across the threshhold
into the world
you want to know!
Links to other sites on the Web
Animated figures, lines, etc.
Alternative Media Site
Click Here to Go Back to Joe's Poetry Page
Get your own Free Home Page