Walk With Me
By: Lissa ©2001

Chapter 2

Walk with me…

* * *

Sunlight streamed onto my face, interrupting my dreams. I looked up at the clock and cursed quietly. I had already jumped out of bed when I realized that it was the weekend and I could sleep in. Wearily, I climbed back into bed and closed my eyes. That was a mistake. As soon as I'd turned over, Fire danced in my eyes. I saw Quinn's body being burned again and I forced myself to sit back up to catch my breath. Seeing as I wasn't about to get anymore sleep, I made my way into the bathroom to wash up.

I peered into the mirror. My hair was a fright. My skin looked pale and sickly. My eyes were strained and bloodshot. I hadn't had a very good night's rest after forcing myself to leave that alley the day before. I felt so old…

I made my way into the kitchen and poured myself some cereal. As I brought up the first spoonful to my mouth however, something glinted up at me. I looked down at my wrist and was reminded of the gift Kristin had left me. A solid band of silver metal encircled that wrist as well as the other. I didn't want to believe it so I checked to make sure anyway. I had that ring of metal around my neck still as well.

"Oh Kristin, what did you do to me?"

Walk with me, I heard her voice reply. Or at least, I thought I had. Involuntarily, I looked around the room, hoping to find her back. But she wasn't. She never would be again, I reminded myself. Not after yesterday…

I pushed my food away so I could give myself room to rest my head on my arms. "Kristin, I miss you so much… It hurts… It's always hurt… Why?"

I felt more than anything, someone or something probe into my mind. My memory took a journey backwards in time until I found a familiar scene. We were at that same kitchen table I was sitting at now. I remembered that day well. I'd long since pushed it out of my mind but here it was again, only from a different perspective. I was looking at myself through Kristin's eyes. And I knew why she'd chosen this memory for me to see…

* * *

She'd called just a few minutes earlier, surprising me by explaining that she was already at my door. She knew I always slept in on Sundays but she said that this was too important. I had forced myself out of bed and let her in, leading the way into the kitchen so I could make some coffee for myself. I watched through Kris's eyes as I stumbled my way about the kitchen and felt her emotions. She'd found it amusing of course, but she was too fidgety to even laugh like she always did. She waited until I'd sat down before jumping up to begin her pacing. That'd been when she'd blurted out her wish.

"Ryan, we need to stop seeing each other."

Luckily for me, I hadn't taken a sip of my coffee yet. If I had, it would have come spewing out of my mouth. So instead, I just sat there in shock, unable to comprehend what she was talking about. "What did you say?"

"We have to break up." She couldn't look me in the face.

My mouth went dry. My heart skipped a beat. I felt the blood drain from my face. "B… but why?" I'd stammered.

She flinched. She'd known I'd need a reason, but how could she explain the need?

"Look, I didn't mean for this relationship to go this far." It was the wrong thing to say and she knew it. "No, wait. I didn't mean it that way." I clamped my mouth shut. I was hurt and angry, but I wasn't going to let either emotion rule me until I'd heard her out. "What I meant was that when I first met you, I'd wanted nothing more than a friendship. I needed somebody to be my outlet for all my anger and frustration and sadness over my last break-up. You provided that for me.

"But then I got to know you better and you got to know me. I was terrified of that and yet you were willing to wait for me to figure out what I wanted for us. You already knew what you wanted. We've talked about this before, how it was hard for me to trust someone again, I know. But you didn't ask questions. You wanted what was best for me and figured I'd know the answer to that one. I loved you for that. You gave me both the freedom and shelter that I needed then.

"And then somehow, something changed for me. You knew it, I knew it, everyone knew it… During the time we'd spent getting to know each other, I'd fallen in love with you. I never meant for it to happen either. I wasn't sure I wanted to be in such a relationship again so soon, but there it was. I couldn't deny it and it was only a matter of time until we made it official…" She'd trailed off then, pausing to cry into her hands for a little while.

I'd wanted so much to stand up and take her in my arms and tell her everything would be okay. I wanted to tell her that none of what was bothering her mattered. I loved her. Wasn't that enough?

I forced myself to stay in my seat, despite how much it tore my heart to watch her cry… And to know that her pain was somehow my fault.

"Ryan, I can't go on like this. I don't love you anymore."

Liar! My mind had wanted to scream out. Can't go on like this how? What was I doing wrong? Could it be fixed? How could she say she didn't love me if she was crying? "It's another man, isn't it?"

She'd looked at me, pain and misery clearly visible on her face. "God, no. Don't ever think that I left you for someone else," she pleaded. She came over, wrapping her hands around mine, which had been clenched tightly around my mug. "You know me better that that."

"I thought I did," I replied back icily. I couldn't help myself. My hurt side was winning over me and I needed to lash out.

"Ryan, that's not fair." She drew back her hands as if she'd been scalded.

"Life isn't fair. Haven't you been telling me that since the day we met?" I shot back.

"Please understand-"

"Oh, I understand perfectly, Kristin," I cut her off. "Everything is over between us. I did something wrong or something came up and you don't want to deal with it so you're running away. God, I feel like I've wasted my time and energy trying to get close to you and help you. It obviously hasn't helped any."

There. I'd hurt her the worst possible way I could and I always regretted it.

"But I love you," she said sadly, trying to convince the both of us again of something we already knew to be true.

"Well, which is it? Do you love me or not?" I knew I was being brutal but I couldn't help it. My mind and heart were telling me two different things and it was all I could do to keep from tearing the room apart; I was that angry and hurt.

"Yes, I love you. With all my heart, I love you."

I lost it then. I lunged out of my chair and crushed her to me. "Then why must we break up? I love you, Kris. Don't do this!"

She turned her face to the side and pushed me away. "It's for the best. I already told you."

"You've told me nothing!" I roared.

She'd flinched again. "Please, don't end it like this."

My mind whirled. "End it like what?! You're the one who insists on ending anything."

"Ryan please. I have to go."

She'd already started to leave the kitchen. "Wait. No! You're not leaving until you give me a valid reason why we need to break up."

I'd grabbed one arm but she shook me off. "Yes, I'm leaving. I need to get out of here." She was at the door, but turned back to me. I'd stayed, rooted to the living room floor, suddenly devoid of any energy or hope. "Don't try going after me, Ryan. Just forget everything that ever happened between us."

"But I love you," I said quietly, echoing her earlier proclamation.

She gave a sad smile. "I know. I love you too." The door clicked shut behind her.

I prayed so hard that she would come back. A minute ticked by. Then another. After an hour had passed of just staring at the door, I'd collapsed onto the floor and cried like a baby. How could she have done this to me?

I cried now when that memory faded away. I'd gone over that scene so many times since then but I hadn't known exactly what she'd gone through to tell me all of that. Oh sure, I'd suspected how much it had taken out of her. But seeing it through Kristin's eyes… Feeling what she felt those years ago… It just proved that I really had known her. That we had been connected that closely, that deeply.

And even after that, we'd still been linked, I reminded myself. Despite the distance and the time spent apart, I'd been able to pick up on her emotions. Always, somewhere deep down inside me, I knew. In a way, that had given me the drive to keep on living after that day… That connection gave me the hope that perhaps we'd be together again.

And we are together, Ryan…

I shook my head. I must be hearing things. I could have sworn I heard her voice again. But then I felt a slow burning on my wrists. Looking down, I noticed the metal pieces around my wrists were glowing faintly.

Believe… You have been Chosen…

"Believe in what!? Chosen for what?!" I found myself crying out into the empty room. "Kristin, you've given me more than I ever wanted in life. All I wanted was your love and you gave me that. But then to also give me an entirely new life? At least before, I hoped we'd be together. Now that wish is dashed and I'm completely lost! How am I supposed to deal with this?"

No one answered me. I doubted they would have. I was acting like a spoiled brat. Then I groaned. I must be going crazy. Here I was answering voices in my head… I smirked. I couldn't be crazy. These voices had to be real. How else could I explain everything that had gone on in the past fifteen hours?

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