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Chapter 15
I hurried in the cold, eager to be someplace warm and comforting after a long day's work. By chance, I looked up into the night sky and immediately sought out the moon. I felt a faint wave of embarrassment wash over me when I realized what I'd done. I understood. That had been Kris's doing, her own habits were sometimes so strong I'd be affected by them. Although they'd been growing fainter as more time had passed since she'd died and even more since she'd cut off any direct ties between the two of us in spirit, she could still influence me sometimes like then…
As I made my way up the stairs and into my apartment, I continued to think. From what I remembered, the moon had been a symbol for her of so many things. Light and darkness, death and renewal were among them… The beginning and end of one relationship for another.
It frightened me sometimes, Kris's melting away to become one with the Ancient Ones. In many ways, it was a good thing, I knew. I was learning and doing everything I was supposed to on my own. I was becoming less dependent on them and I didn't need all the guidance like before. I have learned to trust my instincts more and my followers. And yet, as I said before, I was scared of this separation, this change. Oh, I know she'll always be in my heart but even then…
I walked out onto my balcony and looked at the moon, studying its crescent shape in the otherwise dark sky. Here in the quiet neighborhood, street lamps prevented me from seeing more than that, the brightness of the stars dimmed by the artificial lights. So I looked at the moon. A vague memory flitted across my mind and I let it pass through, not wanting to fight it but rather see where it took me. It was one of Kris's…
I felt a wave of melancholy wash over me slowly and I embraced it as I saw in my mind's eye the moon as it was years ago. I was looking through her eyes, up at a sky lit up by the moon and a number of stars. A much younger voice spoke quietly into the still night. "You know, it's going to be different now."
"Not everything's going to change you know," I heard Holly's voice answer in reply from somewhere to the left of me.
"I know, but that bit of knowledge doesn't comfort me much. I'm scared. I don't know if I can do it."
"Hey," I heard a small amount of scolding as Kris's head turned toward the source of the voice. "Didn't I tell you long time ago to stop doubting yourself? Well, I'm telling you again. You're my best friend and I wouldn't lie to you about this. You're a strong woman and I know you're not one to hide behind excuses so don't start now. And if you need help, you know where I'll be and that I'll always be here for you. I'm behind you every step of the way. That's what I'm here for."
"I know, and I thank you for your confidence. It's just overwhelming, I guess."
"I don't blame you. I know what it felt like for me when I had to assume the responsibilities of all that was expected of me but, as I said before, that's why I'm here. I'll help you as much as I possibly can, and if not me, then for sure, someone else will. You won't be alone."
"One more thing then," Kris said after a short silence.
"Go for it."
"Promise me that once I'm gone, you'll help the next person as much as you helped me."
"Kristin! Why are you talking like this? Didn't we just agree upon not being so pessimistic about things?"
"We did, but this isn't about being a pessimist or an optimist or anything like that. I'm being realistic here. Between the two of us, we both know that I'm the one more likely to die first in the days to come. You've shown me to not back down to life, to always go after my dreams and to always do the best I can. I'm not afraid of the future as I probably should be, but I just need to hear you promise. Promise me that you'll be there for the person's good times and bad times. Promise me that you'll stand by the person and support him or her in their causes. Please promise me you'll be as much their best friend as you've been one of my best friends."
"Kristin, the two of us have been through a lot together," she started out slowly, picking her words with care. "We are as close to sisters as we can get without being blood related. We know things about each other that no one else in the world knows. It's difficult to imagine a world without having you around to confide in and frankly, I don't want to. The world will be a lot sorrier without having you around but I know that at the same time, you're speaking truthfully here. The chances of you being lost to the Nica are more than I'd like to acknowledge right now. I promise to you that I'll do everything in my power to help you out. I promise to protect you and serve you until one of us is gone for good. And because I'm your best friend, I will promise to do the same for whoever comes after you if the time and need comes. But one thing I can't promise is to be that person's best friend just the way we are best friends because I don't think I could ever share a friendship with anyone else the way I do with you. But for you, I will try."
The two hugged as silent tears slipped down both of their faces. "That's all I ask of you Holly. I know it's a lot, but I swear and promise to do the same thing for you. I wouldn't have asked it of you if I didn't think you could do it." Kris had drawn back to look at Holly in the eye. "Thank you."
Holly's smile was her answer to her best friend's gratitude.
I found myself looking up into the night sky once more. The moon and stars that had witnessed the two's promise to each other still shone above me and an acute sense of determination filled me. Holly had fulfilled her part of the promise and more, and it was about time I returned the favor.
The very next day, I left my apartment, promising myself that I wouldn't set foot in my own home again until Holly was safe and sound in her own house. I first stopped by Isaac's to let him know what I was up to, and to let him tell the others what I had done so no one would think I'd been captured as well. He knew why I needed to do this and for a brief moment, I could swear I saw his approval. Then the moment was gone, the emotion hidden from his eyes and he just told me to be careful and to take care of myself while on the journey. That little bit was enough to boost my self-confidence as I left the city filled with its bustling life and traveled toward a destiny I didn't know.