Eventually, Luck Does Run Out
By: Dee ©2007

Chapter 38

Beep, beep, beep, beep…

Troy groggily opened his eyes and turned on his side to try to turn his alarm clock off but soon realized it wasn't his alarm clock for school he was hearing. He startled himself even more awake as he took in the plain white walls around him and realized his bed had bars. 'Where am I?' he wondered before he saw the source of the beeping, a heart monitor. 'I'm in the hospital? What happened?'

"Thank God, Troy. You are awake!" exclaimed his mom as she and his father came into view.

"Good to see your eyes open, son," stated Jack. "We were hoping you'd wake up from those pain meds the doctors gave you earlier in the evening."

"I'm in a hospital, why?" asked Troy.

"Don't you remember? The truck accident?" questioned Jack. "You were outside of Albuquerque when it happened. You don't remember that at all?"

Troy thought for a few moments, as he tried to recall what happened. "I don't remember it. I remember driving along the freeway with… Oh my God, where's Gabriella?" panicked Troy.

His mother put a comforting hand on Troy's shoulder as tears gathered in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Troy."

"No! No, she's fine, right Dad? Gabriella has to be fine!" exclaimed Troy.

Jack sadly shook his head. "I wish she was, Troy."

"NO!" screamed Troy as he felt tears race down his cheeks and his heart break at this statement. "I need to see her, I need to see she's okay."

"Son, I'm sorry but she's gone. Gabriella is dead," replied Jack as Troy's mother continued crying. "She held on until she got to the hospital but they lost her within the hour she was here."

"NO! SHE CAN'T BE DEAD!" fought back Troy as he wiped his face angrily. "No, she did not die. Gabriella can't be dead, she was too young, too much promise, I LOVE HER!"

Troy felt his mother wrap her arms around his shaking form as he sat up in the hospital bed. He studied his father's face and knew he was speaking the truth, but Troy still didn't want to believe him. "Troy, if I could make things better for you here, I would, honest," said Jack.

Just then, the doctor came in and smiled at Troy. "I'm glad to see you are up. Any pain?"

Troy shook his head, unable to believe the doctor was so calm after he had just received news that the love of his life was gone from this realm. "Please, tell me where my girlfriend is, I need to see her."

The doctor shot his father a look, who slowly nodded his agreement. "She's down the hall. We haven't moved her yet. I'll have a nurse come in with a wheelchair to take you to her, but Troy, I don't want you to overexert yourself. You need to take good care of yourself too."

Troy waited impatiently for the nurse to come and took the help of both the nurse and his dad to get into the waiting wheelchair. He was wheeled down the hall and then into a room that was dark. The nurse turned on the light and pushed Troy's wheelchair closer to the bed. He looked at the still form and slowly looked from its feet and up its body, scared of having everything confirmed when he saw the face on the body. When Troy finally forced himself to look, this nightmare he was in slowly came back a reality. "Oh God, Gabriella…" whispered Troy.

The nurse helped him stand up as he moved to her bedside and sat down on the edge of the bed, still being tied to the IV in his arm. Troy stared down at Gabriella's face, which was recognizable but covered in cuts and bruises and inflammation. "Why did you have to go?" asked Troy in a small voice as he hesitantly laid his hand on her too cold cheek. "This was all my fault, I should have… I should have done a lot of things differently. You didn't deserve to die like this Gabriella, it should have been me."

He studied Gabriella's body as it just laid there. 'She looks like she could just be sleeping, but I don't feel her in me like I usually do when she's nearby. That sensation when she's near is just not there anymore,' thought Troy as he stroked some of her blood matted hair that had dried. 'God, what have I done to you?'

Troy felt the tears as they ran down his face and didn't bother to check them as there were too many. He started sobbing as the realization that she would never open her brown eyes again to look at him and that he would never be able to run his hands through her wavy hair while he kissed her gently good night. It got worse as he continued to gaze at her face, her expressionless face, and realized that he would never see that sweet smile Gabriella reserved just for him or hear her laughter at some stupid joke he made. "Gabriella, you are my life. I don't want to go on without you," he murmured before he felt the hands of his father on his arms.

"Come on, Troy. We need to go. The doctor wants to check you over. I know you're hurting but nothing else can be done for her. They tried their hardest, trust me," soothed Jack as he brought his son to him in a hug. "I don't know what happened to you and Gabriella in the last week or so, but I know that she loved you dearly, Troy. She'd want you to take care of yourself and get better now, to live your life for her."

"But I can't," got out Troy as he started to sob harder. "I can't live without her, Dad. I can't live with this void that I feel inside me knowing she's not here with me, to talk to, to laugh with, to hold in my arms."

Jack held onto his son and let him cry, his own heart breaking with each sob. After some time, the nurse came back and insisted the two leave the room and Gabriella's body. Before he allowed himself to be guided back into the chair, Troy leaned down and kissed Gabriella's cold pale forehead one last time. "I love you, Gabriella. You are my soul mate, and I'll never forget you or our love," whispered Troy before he was placed back into the wheelchair and moved back to his room.

After he was settled back into his hospital bed, the doctor returned to examine the cuts Troy received in the accident and the stitches that were on his arm. "You look like you'll be okay. I want to monitor you for one night tonight and then we'll release you most likely tomorrow if everything checks out," the doctor informed Troy. "Do you want a sedative to help you sleep?"

Troy wiped away yet another tear that he couldn't hold back and shook his head. "No, I deserve this pain."

The doctor frowned at him and came closer to his bedside. "Troy, I may not know you or your girlfriend, but whatever it is that happened before the accident, I don't think she'd hold a grudge against you forever for it. From what I have heard from your parents and her mother who was here earlier, you two shared a genuine love for each other. Hold onto that feeling and those happy memories. That is what will keep Gabriella alive, in your heart as well as your friends'. Speaking of, there are a few in the waiting room that want to see you. Do you want me to let them in?"

Not really knowing what to do, Troy just silently nodded his head and watched as the doctor left the room. Even though he saw Gabriella's body, Troy still couldn't shake off the feeling and belief that she was still alive. 'Being next to her body didn't bring that warm feeling I feel when she's near, but it is just her body. I shouldn't expect that, right? And I do feel a void in my heart, but why do I also at the same time feel hopeful that she's alive?' he wondered. 'Am I just delusional?'

"Hey buddy," greeted Chad in a soft tone. "How are you feeling?"

"Physically fine. Everything else, well that's still up for grabs," responded Troy as he hugged Chad back and saw Jason and Zeke come in. "Hey guys."

The two other guys hugged Troy too and just stood around the bed, not knowing what to say. "How are you holding up?" asked Zeke finally.

"With the love of my life being gone forever? Oh, I'm just peachy," replied Troy sarcastically as he wiped the last of his tears away. "Or with the fact that I should be the one dead, not her?"

"What are you saying?" questioned Jason.

"I was the one driving, not paying attention. It should be me dead, not to mention all the other horrible things that I've done to her in the past year. Gabriella shouldn't be dead, it should be me," stated Troy, looking away from the guys. "It should be me."

Chad couldn't stand to see the pained looked on his best friend's face any longer. "Troy, it's not though. You're here and Gabriella, well, hopefully Gabriella is in a much better place, happy. She'd want you to be too, Troy. She loved you, despite your struggles."

"Yeah man, there has never been another couple that radiated so much happiness and genuine love for each other in the history of East High, at least as long as we have been there," stated Zeke. "I don't know exactly what went down in the end, but she would never stop loving you, no matter how bad things got. That's just how your bond works, what type of person Gabriella was."

"Please, stop talking about her in past tense. It makes her seem gone forever," pleaded Troy. "Look, I know she's gone, and I know that I can't get her back, but it doesn't help me to be reminded of all these good memories. It hurts too much."

"But maybe that's what you need to do, focus on the happy stuff," returned Jason. "To help heal, you need to remember her and your shared relationship for what it really was about, not just the ugly, which is what you seem focused on."

"J has a point, Troy," contributed Chad. "And I know this is a bad comparison but when my dog died in seventh grade, the one I had since I was a baby, remember what my mom told me? To not focus on his last few days when he was in pain and in suffering but about the good times, like when he was a puppy and would follow me everywhere. Stuff like that. It helped me a lot."

"But Gabriella wasn't a dog, Chad," protested Troy.

"I know, but it may still help. Besides, why do you want to dwell on these moments that are obviously torturing you? It's far better to focus on the positives, what brought you together, moments you want to keep alive with you, right? Do you really want to be left with only bad memories and unable to remember the good?" asked Chad.

"No, I guess I get what you are saying guys. Can I just be left alone?" asked Troy.

"Sure, we understand," said Zeke. He and Jason gave Troy a handshake before they left the room, leaving him with Chad.

"I understand your need for time alone but I want to make sure you call me as soon as you need to talk to someone, all right? I don't want you thinking you need to go through this alone, because you don't," stated Chad. "We're all hurting over the loss of Gabriella, maybe not as much as you but we are, trust me."

"I know. Thanks Chad," replied Troy with a small smile. "You are the best friend I could ever ask for."

Chad smiled. "I feel the same way, Troy. Get some rest tonight and I'll see you when you're out of here, all right?"

Troy nodded and watched as Chad left the room. 'Maybe Chad is right, maybe focusing on the positive memories are better than the negative. What if I do forget those good memories? I won't be able to make more,' thought Troy as he felt another tear slip from his eyes. 'Oh God, Gabriella, what am I going to do without you?'

Next Chapter
Back to the Dream Page 1