Gabriella sat on the ground of her living room the next morning, cradled between Troy's bent legs, her back against his chest, as she focused on the catch up homework she had in front of her. Taylor and Sandra were both there as well, along with Chad by special invitation by Gabriella herself. She was wearing a sweatshirt Troy had brought over by her request that morning, one that was his and smelled specifically like him. It was a simple red hooded sweatshirt with East High Wildcats printed in white font in the front but to Gabriella, it was exactly what she needed.

"How much more do you have to go?" asked Sandra, looking up from her own catch up work she had gathered from teachers before she left Los Angeles.

Gabriella looked at her checklist she was keeping track of and sighed. "About half left. Good thing is that Calculus and Advanced Anatomy is done and complete."

"Figures you'd tackle your easiest subjects first," teased Taylor, giggling with Sandra and Gabriella as they saw Chad grimace at the mere mention of the subjects.

"More like figures that Gabriella would find those two subjects easy," remarked Chad, smiling as he saw the familiar smile and twinkle in Gabriella's eyes that he had missed along with the rest of their friends over the past weeks. "I'm glad you're feeling much better though, in all honesty."

Gabriella nervously looked back at Troy, who gave her an encouraging smile before she returned her gaze to Chad while she shook her head in disagreement. "I may look it but I'm not as good as you think I am Chad. Because you are Taylor's boyfriend, Troy's best friend, and a really good friend of mine, I thought it was only right that you know the real truth, one that I'm not all that sure I want anyone else to know, even the rest of our friends. It's challenging to know that already all the people here know what I have done and gone through, one in particular who has suffered more with me than I realized. These three people plus my mom, Sandra's mom, Taylor's mom, Ian, and my medical team that treated me along with my psychologist know but I can't bear for anyone else to really know. Wow, that sounds like a lot of people actually."

Troy shook his head, wrapping his arms around Gabriella's midsection, bring her body closer to his. "No it's not, not really. And it'll stay with this select group that you trust unless you are ready or want anyone else to know, right Chad?"

Chad saw the pointed look he got from Troy and automatically nodded his head in agreement, sensing now that whatever was going on here was definitely serious. "Of course I won't tell anyone. The people I'd likely tell if I did slip are here and know already anyway. Come on Gabs, you can tell me."

Gabriella took in a deep breath and gently unwrapped Troy's arms, glancing back and giving him the best assuring look she could when she saw the quizzical look on his face. She slowly drew the sweatshirt up and pulled her arms out, keeping her eyes now trained on Chad's face as he sat a few feet away, a confused look on his face.

"Don't worry, she's not stripping for you, I don't think," assured Taylor, reading her boyfriend like an open book, looking back at Gabriella to see a white t-shirt still covering Gabriella's stomach area.

Chad just nodded as he continued to watch Gabriella slide her arms out before she revealed both arms to his view, giving him a glimpse of the several lines that slashed horizontally up and down both arms, seeing in particular two that looked fresher than the others on her left arm. "What is all that?"

Gabriella was grateful when she saw no repulsion or ill feelings in Chad's eyes just then, understanding he was just curious. "They are a result of me cutting. Have you ever heard of it?"

"Somewhere, sometime ago. Why did you do this Gab?" asked Chad, trying to keep any accusation or anything else that would offend Gabriella out of his voice.

"That's the other piece I need to tell you," replied Gabriella, looking back at her arms, forcing herself to see the last cut she had made, the final one that had almost cost her her life but also saved her along with Troy. "Tristan killed himself a few weeks back now and I was on the phone when he did it, I heard him. When I vanished, I was out in L.A. hoping I was wrong but ended up instead with a police investigation and having to say my final good-byes to him. It's been really tough for me and I've been feeling so much pain and guilt that I, well, I had to release it somehow, to take away the emotional pain with the physical while I did it also to sometimes make sure I felt something when I was too numb."

Chad stared at Gabriella in shock, knowing his mouth was probably hanging open but was unable to control it. "Dude, you okay?" Chad heard Troy ask him, nodding his head silently in return. He cleared his throat before Chad spoke a few moments later. "You are simply amazing, you know that?"

It was Gabriella's turn to look surprised, looking back at Troy before looking back at Troy's childhood best friend. "What?"

"Your strength and quiet endurance," murmured Chad, looking back at Gabriella. "I know some people, specifically a pink bitch we all know, who would turn this all about her and make a huge production about it but you've gone through so much with none of us knowing, even those of us who are closest to you until recently to my understanding."

Fiercely shaking her head in denial, Gabriella said, "Don't build me up like a hero of some sort Chad, I'm really not. These lines, these wounds that will most likely haunt me for every day for the rest of my life, they are evidence of weakness. Silent reminders of what I've gone through and how close I came to the edge that I wasn't able to stop Tristan from going over but was lucky enough to have people pull me back from."

Chad gulped at Gabriella's words but more so at the conviction in her voice. "You're really serious aren't you? Thinking this was your fault, that you're weak? Gab, tell me something. You talk about this cliff that you almost went over and I'm no anatomy student like you and Tay but those lines don't look deep enough or in the right locations for the most effect. Don't people usually just take one or two slices at themselves, deep and right over a central vein or something?"

There was silence among the friends as Chad's questions hung in the air, Taylor, Sandra, and Troy each watching how Gabriella reacted to this, to some truths that weren't delivered so softly as they had been by them in the past days. She blinked a few times as Gabriella played Chad's words over and over in her head for a few minutes, really giving it some thought.

"I do think those things but I can tell you that you're right in at least one aspect. I wasn't trying to end my life. I even told the doctors and nurses all that while I was under their mandatory 'suicide watch' back in the hospital. I've told my psychologist that as well," said Gabriella, her mind still thinking about Chad's statement.

"Don't you think that takes courage and strength? To me it does," answered Chad, feeling Taylor squeeze his left knee lightly, making him look over at his girlfriend to see the small smile on her lips.

"Chad's right baby. You can't be weak to make it through all of this with the will to keep on living," added Troy, taking Gabriella's chin softly between the fingers of his right hand and turning her head so she was facing him after Troy shifted his position a little so he could look her fully in the face. "You may think this was all your fault, that you could have saved Tristan, but I think you'll see what we all see eventually, with some time. Gabriella, do you know when I first knew you'd make it out of that hospital, that you would make it through this? It was when I heard you tell that medical team that you couldn't imagine hurting your mom, hurting any of your loved ones the way you were hurting over Tristan. Don't you see? It's your heart, your love for those in your life that held you here but it was your own strength to deal with the pain the best way you could without crossing that line."

Gabriella studied the sincerity in Troy's dark cobalt eyes, seeing some of the girl he saw her as while she got lost in their depths momentarily. After some time of Gabriella not saying anything in return but simply accepting both Chad's and Troy's words, Troy lovingly kissed her forehead lightly before helping Gabriella put the sweatshirt back on, sliding her arms through the sleeves before Troy pulled the bottom down, allowing Gabriella to snuggle back into the oversized sweatshirt that reminded her of so many positive things, back into Troy's waiting arms that wrapped securely around her.

"Well, I for one am glad to see not all guys are mentally and emotionally retarded," remarked Sandra with a giggle, relieved that Gabriella seemed to do far better with what both Chad and Troy pointed out to her, better than she would have days ago.

Taylor joined in the laughter. "You're telling me! Who knew!" she exclaimed, laughing more as Chad gave her an over exaggerated pout. "Oh Chad, you were really great babe, you were. I'm proud of you."

A grin formed across his face at the rare compliment he got from his girlfriend in front of his friends. "Thanks Tay," he murmured, happily accepting the kiss Taylor pressed against his lips. Suddenly, Chad's eyes bugged out, sniffing the air before an even bigger grin formed on his face.

"Umm, what's with Chad?" asked Sandra, quirking her eyebrow at the teenaged boy's facial expression.

Troy chuckled, knowing then that Chad just realized that Mary was in the kitchen making brownies. "Oh, Chad just got a preview of what he will be tasting in, oh say, twenty minutes," explained Troy, tilting his head towards the kitchen.

Sandra still looked confused until she too smelled the baking brownies and smiled herself. "Ah, I got it. It was good to see a nice glimpse of an intelligent Chad while we had it though," she teased, making them all laugh even Chad.

"Hey, can you blame me? Ms. Montez makes the most amazing brownies you have ever tasted, seriously!" argued Chad, getting up from where he was sitting and going down the hall to the kitchen to take in the smell even more. "Those smell delicious as always!"

Mary turned at the unexpected voice and smiled back at Chad. "Why thank you Chad, I'm glad you think so. I thought you guys could use some good study break food. How are things going in there?"

Chad casually shrugged his shoulders, leaning against the kitchen counter near the mixing bowl, eyeing the batter that lightly coated the bowl now. "As good as can be I suppose. All the girls are such smarties so they are breezing through their things, especially Gab. She showed me her cuts though just now."

"Oh?" returned Mary, pausing in the washing of some of the cooking tools in the sink to listen to what Chad had to say about this new event.

"Can't lie, I'm surprised and had no idea Gab was going through so much. Girl has a lot of spirit. Just wish she'd see that," stated Chad rather honestly, thinking back to the sadness and something like self pity but not on Gabriella's face earlier. "Does she really think she killed Tristan?"

Mary sighed, finishing rinsing what she had in her gloved hands just then before putting them on the draining board, turning off the water to give the teenager all her attention. By the time Mary turned around though, Chad was no longer leaning against the counter by himself. She warmly smiled at Troy as he settled into his spot on the other side of the mixing bowl, glancing at it briefly before looking up at Mary and smiling a bit sheepishly. Chad caught Troy's look though and narrowed his eyes, knowing his best friend too well to know that they now shared the same idea.

Sensing the brewing playful rivalry, just as any mother would, Mary settled the fight before it even started. "Boys, since you both love my brownies I think equally as much, could you help me by sharing and taking off the extra batter from the spoon and bowl? I think I left a lot on the spoon too."

Getting the green light, Chad dove for the bowl while Troy happily scooped up the large spoon, each now content with the sweetness they were savoring in their mouths. Mary laughed as both boys seemed content with just licking the batter, shaking her head at the two before she remembered Chad's earlier question moments before and slowly sobered, grateful though for the small amusement. "To answer your question Chad, unfortunately she does."

Chad paused his finger that was gathering more batter to eat from the bowl and looked up at this, seeing the seriousness on Mary's face. "Why? It's not like she pulled the trigger or anything. She wasn't even near him if he was in L.A. He was in L.A. right?"

"That's what we all keep telling her," stated Troy, licking the last bit of batter off the large spoon and giving Mary a brief grateful smile. Troy went to the sink to rinse it off but Mary stopped him, putting out her hand to take it from him so she could do it allowing Troy to further fill Chad in. "Gabriella though just seems to think she could have prevented it somehow, even all the way from Albuquerque when he did it all in his bedroom in L.A. Taylor has read up on this though and from what she's learned and shared, it seems that we just have to work together to keep encouraging Gabriella into thinking in the right direction. She needs to realize this herself and all we can do is support her."

"You mean the usual reasonable Gabriella we all know is actually being irrational for once?" asked Chad, somewhat baffled by the idea.

"Not exactly irrational as much as is just dealing with everything, accepting everything, as best as she can at the moment," returned Troy, seeing a look of agreement on Mary's face before she added the large spoon to the draining board and faced them there in the kitchen.

"Chad, trust me, if I could make Gabriella realize this, that she's not at fault at all, I'd beat it into her as much as that would hurt me but I've accepted the fact that Gabriella needs to come to terms with this all on her own. She's got a great therapist who is already working wonders with her and there are some meds involved, but most importantly Gabriella knows she has a very strong group of people behind her and beside her in this. I think knowing that she really isn't alone has helped more than anything this past week," explained Mary as she dried her hands on a nearby towel. "I figured Gabriella would tell you Chad today, at least I hoped when she asked if you could come over too. That's a huge step for her. She must really see you as a good friend."

"She's my girl, I'll always have her back, even when she and Troy were on the outs. Actually man, was all that drama between you two because of this?" asked Chad, suddenly realizing that he hadn't found out the real deal from Troy yet about their current relationship.

Troy let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck some before he said, "Yes and no. Summary is that there was a huge misunderstanding between us due to stupid cell phones and reception. I thought Brie broke up with me but she really was just telling me where she was, what happened to Tristan. Once again, I proved to be the idiot in not realizing she needed me and almost blew it all together but heard her voicemails in time to understand what happened and well, I'm the reason her last cut was so deep because I surprised her. We got back together after we talked things out in the hospital but yeah, that's about it."

"You know, you talk about Gabriella blaming herself but you do too Troy, unnecessarily," observed Mary, now hearing this self blame from her daughter's boyfriend a few times in the past week. "Even Gabriella sees this much that you did save her, in more ways than one."

"But the cut…" he began to argue, getting cut off by Gabriella's mother.

"The cut may be deeper and longer than any of the others but it's the last one she'll make, that much I'm sure about now and you have a large part in that," she stated, giving Troy a look that would not allow for any argument.

"Snap, I think she just put you in your place dude," joked Chad, lightening the mood considerably. "I think the amazing brownie baker has a valid point though. Gabriella and you may have misunderstood things but, call me a girl and crazy, you seem more bonded together now, that much I could tell when I first saw you two together here today."

"I've thought the same thing too," added Sandra as she came into the kitchen, smiling at them all. "I don't know what you are really talking about but Troy, I think in many of the same ways Ian told Gabriella that she was Tristan's medicine substitute, you are hers. I don't think it was just time that helped heal Gabriella to the point she is now."

Mary wrapped an arm around Sandra, giving her a warm smile. "Don't fool yourself into thinking it's just him alone though. Although I agree Troy seems to be the one that best helps Gabriella through this, Gabriella really has leaned quite a bit on you and Taylor both too. I'm just very happy that she has managed to make such good, lifelong friends like all of you."

"And we're just glad that she has such an understanding and loving mother like you," returned Troy, feeling a sharp elbow to his side. "Dude, what was that for?"

"Kiss up," hissed Chad, making Mary and Sandra both laugh, bringing in Gabriella and Taylor who both had curious expressions on their faces.

"All right, what did we miss?" demanded Taylor, looking at Chad, who rolled his eyes. "Chad, did you get into the raw batter again?"

"With permission this time!" defended Chad quickly, knowing Taylor would have his fingers for stealing from Mary's baking preparations again after the last time he did it, ruining the second and third batch Mary had planed after sneezing right into it.

Mary saw the stern look Taylor was giving her boyfriend and couldn't help but laugh some more, highly amused by the teenagers in her and Gabriella's home just then. "He did have my green light this time, promise."

Taylor relaxed her stance at these words, giving Mary a smile. "Phew, glad to hear it. Would have hated to have had to chop off his fingers for doing something else wrong in your kitchen."

Chad's jaw dropped at this. "You wouldn't!"

"Try me," replied Taylor, a smirk lingering on her lips.

Everyone else in the room besides Chad erupted into laughter, savoring the first time in a long time where things really did seem like normal, how things were before Tristan's suicide and Gabriella's cutting. Troy caught Gabriella's eyes in that moment and saw the genuine happiness and twinkle linger there in her brown orbs, knowing then that although he had seen quick momentary glimpses of the same before that its longer presence there in her eyes and on her face meant that they all would be okay but most especially Gabriella. 'Now all we have to do is go back to school…'

Next Chapter
Back to the Dream Page