Gabriella relaxed onto her back as she felt his lips traveling up her neck, nipping a little at her ear before his lips covered hers again as he laid his body over hers. She admittedly was getting lost in his kisses as he kept showering her with them, losing track of the time and where they were until she felt his bare hand touch the skin of her abdominal area, effectively throwing cold water on her.
"Tristan, stop, please," murmured Gabriella in a soft voice that was still laced with desire, one that Tristan clearly didn't take seriously as he didn't remove his hand right away.
"Come on Gabriella, just a little feel?" he returned just before Tristan moved his hand even further up her shirt, letting his hand feel the silkiness of her skin under his fingers until he met the satin of her bra.
"STOP IT!" protested Gabriella, this time making sure she sounded a lot firmer. "Tristan, get off me."
Tristan took in a deep breath and let it out as he allowed her to push him off of her, watching sadly as she straightened her shirt. "What? I thought we were okay with this, with us."
"We are but I'm not ready for you do that quite yet, all right? Let's watch television or something," suggested Gabriella, looking for anything to do that would keep them occupied while Gabriella came to terms with her emotions and thoughts of the moment.
Tristan did his best to hide his frustrations as they settled on the couch, grateful that she at least allowed him to wrap his left arm around her. "I'm sorry Ella."
Gabriella remained silent as she tried to regain her composure. As hard as she tried though, she continued to feel his hands roaming her naked stomach under her shirt, his fingers brushing the swells of her breasts and his hot breath on her neck. Accompanying these feelings though were the memories that had tortured her for months, of the night Tristan barely listened to her cries to stop, the same night she found out he was cheating.
'Maybe I really can't let that night go, maybe I really am not meant to give him this second chance,' she thought. 'I could also be overanalyzing this and everything else too though.'
As Gabriella was thinking, she felt Tristan's left hand slide from her shoulder to just above her left breast and realized that old habits do die hard after all. 'Either that or they never go away as much as you wished they would.'
Just as Tristan's hand dipped even lower to cup her flesh in his hand, Gabriella's cell phone rang, causing Gabriella to jump up to grab it right away, breaking any physical contact with Tristan. She heard his groan as she left him on the couch and answered the phone quickly. "Hey Tay!"
"Hey girl! I just wanted to check on you. Did I call at a bad time?" asked Taylor.
Gabriella snuck a look behind her and saw Tristan reluctantly focusing his attention on the TV as he began to flip the channels. "No, it's great actually," she answered as Gabriella walked through the front door and sat down on the edge of the porch, her right foot playing with the grass as her left was planted on the walkway.
Taylor's ears instantly tuned into the note of desperation in her best friend's voice. "All right Gab, what's up? If I'm not interrupting something, something is definitely up."
Gabriella sighed. "I think I may have made a mistake Tay."
Taylor was silent for a few moments before she replied, "You had sex with Tristan and are now regretting it. Is that it?"
"He wishes we did," mumbled Gabriella, looking behind her to ensure the front door was still closed and that Tristan wasn't peeking at her through the side glass windows. "I'm starting to think that hormone driven Tristan is back or never actually left like I thought."
"Gab, please tell me he didn't do anything stupid," begged Taylor.
"Nothing too serious, just unwanted groping," answered Gabriella. "I mean, I was into it, kissing him and all but when I felt his hand under my shirt, it just didn't feel right."
"Then that tells you something Gabriella. You're a smart girl and have had great instincts so far. Listen to them," returned Taylor without hesitation. "You've been debating about Troy versus Tristan for some time now and I know for a fact that you've felt your bond with Troy strengthen. To me, Tristan just seems like someone you care for and are attracted to but something in your gut is telling you to not let go of the past."
Gabriella sighed. "I honestly thought I did though, forgot about what happened, realized he was someone different. Doesn't that make me though a bit bitter and unforgiving if I don't let go of the past?"
"Not at all. Are you seeking to destroy his life for cheating on you? Do you want revenge? I don't think so. Gab, it's okay to let go of your first love, as much as the movies say that your first true love is always going to be in your heart. Even if I think it's true, it also does not mean that you have to stay with that person, especially when you have reservations like you do," said Taylor. "I mean, it'd be a different story if you were someone like Sharpay. Now there's someone who loves to toy with people's lives and get what she wants all the time or face the consequences."
"And who never looks back to see what damage she has caused or the hurt she has inflicted," agreed Gabriella. "I guess there is a world of difference when you put it all that way Taylor but I just, I feel bad. Tristan really has made the effort to come see me here in New Mexico when he could be hanging out with our friends and his own back in Los Angeles. He's even pissing off his mom for me."
Taylor rolls her eyes as she hears her name being called from the opposite end of her family's home. "All the more reason to let him know how you really feel now sweetie. I have to go, I hear my dad calling me but call me tonight, let me know what happens, what you decide, got it?"
"Got it. Thanks Tay, this has helped, a lot," replied Gabriella, smiling a little despite the tightening in her stomach.
"I've always got your back girl," returned Taylor before both ended the call.
After taking several deep breaths of the fresh air, Gabriella closed her eyes and focused on what she was about to do, knowing that deep down this was the right thing to do, for everyone, even if it was hard. She finally stood up and headed for the front door, realizing as she reached for the doorknob that her hand was shaking uncontrollably. Gabriella used her left hand to try to still the right but found that nothing stopped it. 'It probably won't stop until I get this over with. Then maybe it will be okay, maybe everything else too.'
Gabriella closed the door softly behind her before walking back to the living room where Tristan was absently staring at the television. She nibbled on her lower lip a little as she debated on whether or not she could actually do what she knew she had to when she was talking to Taylor. Standing there in the doorway to the living room though, seeing Tristan already looking distraught, challenged her determination in seeing this done. 'Can I really hurt him like this? Who are you kidding Gabriella, maybe he won't even care. No, he does care, he's shown this much already.'
Tristan heard her shuffle coming closer to the living room again and fought to keep his attention the television, realizing he had no clue as to what was really going on. When he heard a stop of Gabriella coming back, Tristan's peripheral vision allowed him to see her hovering in the doorway for a few moments before she slowly approached him again, her hesitancy to get near him a stab to his heart. "I'm not going to bite," he managed to get out, clearing his throat as he felt the tightness there. "Look Ella, I'm sorry okay? It was a stupid slip up that won't happen again. I really am sorry."
'Why did he have to say that?' wondered Gabriella as she took a seat again on the couch. "Tristan, I really and truly appreciate that, honestly but maybe it happened for a reason."
Quickly, Tristan's gaze went from the amount of distance that was between where he sat and where Gabriella was on the opposite end of the couch, and flashed upwards to meet her brown eyes that held nothing but turmoil there. "What are you talking about Gabriella? It was a mistake, that's it."
"Was it? Or was that your true intentions and feelings and desires coming out?" returned Gabriella, forcing herself to hold his gaze, ignoring the panic and pain already evident in the green eyes staring back at her. "Tristan, I thought you had changed from when I lived in L.A."
"I did, I have! Ella, Gabriella, I have changed so much for you. I haven't even looked at another girl since our breakup. Samantha tried so hard to start something up with me but I refused her. Do you know why? Because I love you Gabriella," stated Tristan, unsure of whether he should try to get closer or not. He decided on staying still but turned his body so he was facing her more directly, his right leg bent in front of him on the couch. "It took me us breaking up to realize it but I really do love you. Do you know how blessed I felt when we met again this summer, especially when you gave me another chance?"
Gabriella let out a long breath as she fought to keep the tears at bay in her brown eyes, not wanting to let them go. "I came to L.A. without even a thought of seeing you again and yet when I did, it seemed like I was looking at the guy I fell in love with before everything bad happened. Tristan, why did you do it? Honestly, why did you need to cheat on me?"
Tristan sighed heavily as he ran his left hand through his hair. "Do we really need to hash this out now Gaby? I thought we were over this."
"I thought so too Tristan, I really did, but it seems that my mind is still stuck on it. Another thing is, I don't know, tonight, you alarmed me Tristan. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget that night last year," said Gabriella, playing with her fingers on her lap.
"So you're telling me that we can never be together, because of one simple mistake?" asked Tristan, getting slightly angry at this, his voice getting louder. "Gabriella, I know I'm not perfect but we really had something together. You made me feel and see things that no one had ever made me feel before Ella. We aren't a mistake, I refuse to accept that!"
"Tristan, please, I'm not saying that we are, that we were. I just, I don't think that we're going to work, as hard as both of us have tried. There's just too much history, too much pain," she replied, brushing away a tear that escaped. "We gave it our best Tristan, honest we did."
"Obviously my best wasn't good enough for you, was it? Huh?" screamed Tristan, springing up from the couch, now looking down at her, fire in his eyes. "I changed my entire life and beliefs for you! I turned down every girl who threw herself at my feet for you. Why can't you fucking believe me when I say I love you and let that be enough?"
Gabriella could feel the sobs bubbling up, ready to escape from her mouth despite her efforts to stop them. "I do! I do believe that you love me Tristan but it just, to be fair, I don't think this is working. We live too far apart from each other. We have a history that doesn't encourage the trust that's necessary for long distance. We just, I don't know, we just don't seem right anymore. You can't even tell me what happened last year with Samantha! How can we communicate effectively if you are still hiding things from me?" she asked, curling her legs up to her chest and holding them there with her arms, letting a few more tears go between sobs.
"You want to know? Fine, I'll tell you. I fucked Samantha because I'm a teenaged boy who wasn't getting any from his girlfriend. She'd been hounding me for weeks, throwing herself and her barely clad body for me to see, and I just snapped one night, all right? It's hard when you are so sexually suppressed not to," returned Tristan, taking a few breaths to try to calm himself. 'This isn't what I wanted to happen this weekend. My last trip out for a while was supposed to bring us closer together, not tear us apart.'
Tristan's words quickly sank into Gabriella's mind, enabling her to focus on her anger she felt surging through her body, forgetting the tears and sobs she had just released that were now suddenly gone. "Sexually suppressed? Really? Is that what you call an excuse?"
He looked back at her and saw the change in her demeanor almost immediately, from the straightening of her spine to the look on her face. "It's not an excuse, it's the truth of how I felt back then. Gabriella, you have to understand, before you, I was used to getting it whenever I wanted but I wanted to change that for you. I thought with time and patience that we would naturally come together in that way but it just seemed like you were constantly holding off for something."
"Love, I was holding off for love and to do it when it was right, not just because my boyfriend wanted it," threw back Gabriella, now standing up on her own feet, fully facing him but keeping the distance between her and Tristan. "And God, how I am grateful I did because it seems like you still had a player's heart even while we dated. How many times Tristan?"
"It doesn't matter Gaby, it's in the past," stated Tristan, not wanting to make this situation any worse.
"How many times did you fuck her Tristan? How many girls were there?" demanded Gabriella, narrowing her brown eyes that turned darker with her anger.
Tristan closed his eyes, thinking back to last year, wondering if he really wanted to give her the details she wanted. "What does it matter? Ella, this is in the past and we have to move on. Details on this aren't going to make you feel any better. I know I screwed up then, I screwed up tonight, but I don't plan on doing so any further. I love you."
"STOP IT!" yelled Gabriella, unable to allow herself to hear his words any further. "You do not get to say those words to me ever again. You lost that right Tristan. I can't believe I thought you changed, that maybe we could be something, that you being my first true love was something to build a future on. You haven't changed a single bit. I want you out of my house Tristan, now!"
This took Tristan aback, much more than if Gabriella had slapped him across his cheek. "Wait, what? Gabriella, this is a joke right?"
"No, apparently it was just our relationship and any history or moments we have shared that is. I know you have to pack but I want you out of here, right away, as soon as you can get your shit together. I felt so bad thinking of how I wanted to end things with you because although I love you, care for you, it was just too tough this way. Thanks for making this so much easier," got out Gabriella, determination in her eyes as she walked right by Tristan only to feel his firm grasp on her upper left arm. Her eyes flashed as they glanced up and stared into his dark green eyes. "Let go of me."
"No, not until you listen to me. You want the details? Fine, you can have them. I was fucking Samantha for three weeks prior to you seeing the hickies on me. There were also two cheerleaders I nailed in the locker room after practice and a game that you didn't deem worthy of your time. Are you happy? Does that make you feel better Gabriella?" demanded Tristan, more than pissed off that she was treating him this way. "I'm not some average, middle or lower class guy you can kick around and get away with this. I have done nothing to deserve this treatment."
"Nothing? Oh really? I'd say cheating on me last year is the foundation and then still trying to get further than I felt comfortable with tonight, even if it was minor, are enough reasons for this. I hope you are proud of yourself though. You managed to dupe one of the supposed smart girls in our class for so long, getting me to think that you cared and loved me, that I meant something to you," returned Gabriella, feeling the anger begin to slip away as the tears returned.
Tristan watched as her brown orbs glazed over with the water now being held back from being shed. His own strong emotions slowly slipped away, realizing that he had finally lost, in so many ways. Realizing that he still had a firm grip on her arm, Tristan slowly let go, grimacing as he saw a dark spot on her arm where his hand had been. "I'm sorry Ella, for the bruise, for hurting you emotionally, for my stupidity in the past. I just, I want you to know that when I say I love you, that I care for you, that you've changed me for the better, I really do mean it. You probably won't believe it but it's true. I'll go get my stuff and be out of your way."
Gabriella watched silently as he left her in the living room to go to the guest room where his stuff was. She could hear him packing and simply walked away to the stairway to sit down. Thoughts and emotions continued to flood her as she thought about everything that just happened, what she had learned, what she had heard, what she had said. Having a few minutes to really think about everything, Gabriella realized that not everything was Tristan's fault but that today really proved that they weren't meant to be in the future. 'Tristan will always be my first true love though, no matter what.'
Once his bags were packed, Tristan slid the shoulder strap of his duffle bag up his arm to rest on his right shoulder while his left hand grabbed the small suitcase he had brought this weekend to Albuquerque. He slowly made his way out towards the front door, not knowing what to expect from Gabriella, that is if she was even there to see him out. 'I wouldn't blame her if she was gone and let me walk myself out.'
To his surprise, Gabriella was there, all the anger and other negative emotions absent from her presence unlike several minutes ago. Tristan paused in front of the stairs, unsure of what to do or say but knowing he had to say something. "Ella, if nothing else from this summer, I want you to know that I do love you, that I think you are not only beautiful but smart, and that I wish things had been different, that I was different for you. I guess, well, I guess I was fooling myself when I thought we could work this all out but I knew when I ran into you this summer that I had to try, if not one last time, because you really are my first love and quite possibly my last."
'God, why does he have to be so sweet now?' she wondered as she got up from the step she was sitting on and crossed to him. Before she could second guess herself, Gabriella wrapped her arms around Tristan's waist and leaned her head against his chest, feeling his arms slowly wrap around her own body. "No matter what else has happened or will happen Tristan, you will always be my first love too."
Tristan closed his eyes as he leaned his chin on top of Gabriella's head, breathing in her scent, memorizing it one last time, before he forced himself to let her go, knowing he was letting one of the best things in his life slip through his fingers. 'It's better this way Tristan. You don't deserve anything as amazing as her. Maybe there was a chance but you are such a fuck up that you screwed it up for yourself, like you do everything else. Gabriella deserves better, way better. This is right for her.'
"Tristan?" she asked, her voice quiet but trembling.
Tristan forced a smile on his face. "I better go Ella. I think there's a flight going back to the L.A. area in the next few hours. Take care of yourself okay?"
Now that the moment was here, staring her in the face, Gabriella wasn't so sure she wanted him to go, despite their fight, the anger, the feeling of hurt. "Wait, Tristan, maybe we can work this out."
Despite the fluttering of hope that was in his heart, Tristan shook his head and took a few steps towards the front door. "No, you were right about all of it Gabriella. You've always been a smart girl Gaby and I think you may be right about us too. You deserve better, far more than I can clearly give you. I'll miss you and always love you, don't forget that."
Before Gabriella could do anything further, Tristan was through her front door, closing it softly behind him, leaving her staring at the closed door. Without another thought, Gabriella ran and threw it open just in time to see Tristan get into his rental car. His green eyes looked up and locked with hers, giving her a clear view of the tears that were there. Feeling her heart break at the sight, Gabriella left the porch and started jogging to the car only to have Tristan quickly start the compact car and reverse out of her driveway. He gave her one last sad smile before he took off down the street, never giving Gabriella the chance to say her own real good-bye.
Tears streamed down Gabriella's face as she felt sobs course through her body again. She allowed her body to drop down to the driveway as her arms wrapped around her legs that were now pulled to her chest. Seconds and then minutes passed as she stared down the street where Tristan had disappeared from view. 'I thought this is what I wanted but if it is, why do I hurt so damn much?'
When she was able to control her emotions, Gabriella wiped away the tears on her cheeks and went back inside her house, grimacing a little as she instantly smelled his scent in the air. Quickly, Gabriella grabbed her cell from the living room and ran up to her bedroom, needing to talk to someone. She quickly dialed the number before laying down on her bed, tears surfacing once again as her eyes landed on a picture of her and Tristan from last year.
"Hi Gaby," greeted the voice on the other line.
"Sandy," started Gabriella, pausing as a sob tore through her body again and she tried to regulate her breathing, to little success. "He's gone, Tristan is gone, and I think, well we're over."
"Gabriella, calm down sweetie, tell me what happened. Did he hurt you?" asked Sandra, concern clearly in her voice. "Gaby, come on sweetie, tell me what's going on."
"I feel so wretched Sandy, I broke his heart, despite how much of a jerk he can be, and I still love him," got out Gabriella, giving up the fight of controlling the tears. "What's wrong with me?"
Sandra sighed as she could literally hear the torment in her best friend's voice. "Nothing is wrong with you sweetie. You just, you weren't in love with him. You did what was best for both of you. I know how hard this must be but you have known for a while now that Tristan wasn't the long term guy for you. You did the right thing."
"Then why do I feel so awful?" returned Gabriella.
"Because you are a sweet, sensitive girl who doesn't like hurting even a fly when it comes down to it. I promise Gaby, everything is going to be fine, honest. Why don't you get some rest, let your mind relax, maybe eat some of your favorite chocolate chocolate chip ice-cream. Do you want me to come out there?" questioned Sandra, feeling awful herself that she couldn't be there for her best friend in person.
Gabriella considered the idea before declining the offer. "No, I can't ask that of you. I think I will try to get some rest and maybe have that ice-cream in a little bit. Thanks Sandra for listening to me."
"Anytime Gaby. Seriously, call me as soon and whenever you want to," returned Sandra. "You sure you are going to be okay?"
There was a pause before Gabriella answered. "I'm as fine as can be expected. Bye Sandy."
After Gabriella closed her phone she placed it on her nightstand, picking up the picture frame of her and Tristan, staring at it for a few moments, amazed at how so many good memories with him flooded her mind when she only saw the bad before. 'I know this is right in my heart, even in my mind, but why does it have to be this hard?'
Eventually, Gabriella slowly fell asleep, the picture frame of her and Tristan now on the floor where she let it drop from her hand that hung over the edge, the glass shattered from the impact, and the picture itself face down.