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Chapter 13: Kate
It's been four months since that rape. Four, long, depressing months that I lived through only sustained by the love JC and Alex have given me. I don't know what I'd do without either of them. Why has it been depressing then? Simply because I've found that I am pregnant, and it is not JC's since obviously we have never made love together. I was told to have an abortion but I just can't. Alex was the result of the last one and I can't let another child be killed for the mistake of one man who just happens to be its biological father. What am I going to do when this child is born? Can I even deal with it all over again?
"Sweetie, are you okay?" JC asks me from the entryway of our little room on the cruise ship we are on board.
"Yes, just thinking. Thanks for taking Alex and me on this cruise JC. It's really nice."
"Well, I wasn't about to leave you back home while I went on this cruise to the Bahamas for this performance show. It wouldn't be fair, nor would I have been happy without you here. Thank you for agreeing to come."
"How could I resist the idea of being stuck in one place with you for a week? Anyway, the taping of the show is going to be done tonight, right?"
"Right. Part of it will be shot tonight while they get other clips of us just doing whatever during the rest of this cruise. We do only have four days left on this cruise. I hope that Alex has been enjoying himself."
"He has. He has been doing so much, he's been taking afternoon naps like clockwork," I say, motioning to the bunk that is above me, where Alex is asleep.
JC looks up and smiles. "Can you believe how perfect this cruise has been? I can't help but laugh at how Chris, Joey, and Justin have been since they've had to bunk together for the past few days without me or Lance around to add and stop the madness that erupts sometimes."
"No kidding. Who exactly is performing tonight?"
"You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?"
"You are terrible!"
"Naw," he says, moving to the bed where I was sitting and pulling me up. "If I was, would you really want me to do this?"
He leans down and kisses me deeply, making me light headed. I pull away and smile, "Well, you may be terrible, but you are definitely a good kisser!"
"Why thank you. Listen, I don't want you worrying about Alex tonight. I have a sitter all lined up for him so that we can have dinner alone tonight before the show and then you should be able to meet up with him there while I'm performing. Sound good?"
"Sure, why not? I trust whoever you trust."
"Good. Well, we better get him up and moving because dinner will be served soon and I wanted to take you somewhere first."
"Okay," I respond, totally curious about what he has planned. I get Alex ready to go and get ready myself as JC takes him to whoever is watching him for the night. By the time JC comes back, I'm all ready and he blindfolds me, reminding me of the last time he did this in Orlando.
He wraps his arm around my waist and begins leading me out the room and into an elevator. Once it stops, he guides me to somewhere outside, keeping me from falling in some close calls. He stops me and then takes off the blindfold. "Step up on the first bar of the railing," he instructs, which I do, still in awe of my surroundings. He gets behind me and wraps one arm around my waist as he supports us using his free hand. "Do you like it?"
I can only nod my head yes as I try not to cry from happiness as I watch the sun set, turning the sky beautiful colors. "I thought I'd show the sunset, just like I showed you the sunrise in the past. I have to admit, I did it for selfish reasons. I wanted to know what it was like having you in my arms, breathing in your scent, seeing yet another wonder of Mother Nature together. Thank you for staying with me."
"No, thank you for staying with me and doing all of this. It means a great deal to me. I have to ask though. You got this idea from Titanic huh?"
"But of course. Who could forget that scene when Jack kissed Rose on the tip of the boat like this?" he asks, giving me a kiss when I turned my face towards his. "Come on, you know you want to do it."
"Do what?"
"Fly!" he exclaims, taking my arms and holding them straight out, like in the movie. I have to admit, the feeling is totally sensational.
I laugh but after a while, I just drop my arms and partially lean back on JC, holding onto the railing. He wraps arms around my waist and starts singing lightly into my ear, "Sailing, it takes me away, to where I've always heard it could be. Just a dream and a wind to carry me, soon I will be free. Fantasy, it gets the best of me, when I'm sailing... With my love Kate."
I smile and turn around to see his eyes sparkling with love before I kiss him. He breaks away and helps me down before continuing the kiss further. After a few minutes, we leave that special point and head to the dining area. Dinner is very special as well, making me think any time spent with him is. Sooner than I would have thought, I was sitting in my seat in the auditorium in one of the first two rows reserved for the performers. The fans that are on the ship are seated all around, with the exception of the third row where the bodyguards are all around to ensure that none of the performers got hurt. Britney Spears kicks off the show, followed by Jewel, Mariah Carey, LFO, TLC, 98 Degrees, Mandy Moore, and now the Backstreet Boys.
The first notes begin to be play and I know that "Perfect Fan" is the song they are singing, which is interesting since they really didn't release that as a single. However, I wasn't expecting for Brian Littrell to come out of the wings with Alex's hand in his. Then I heard the sweetest sound of all, Alex singing the lyrics with the help of Brian. They sang the whole song, bringing tears to my eyes. At the end, Alex says, "I love you Mommy."
He runs down the stairs of the stage and makes his way to me, where I am sitting next to JC. I hug him close to me and watch as JC and Brian exchange thumb ups and smiles. The BSB then kick into another song, the one dedicated to their fans, "Larger Than Life."
I turn to JC and see him smiling at me. "Did you like that?" he asks.
"Of course. Thank you JC for arranging that! It was really special."
"It was well worth it to see the happiness on your face. Did you forget that Mother's Day is only a week or so away? I didn't and wanted to do something special for you early. It wasn't hard since Alex seemed to know most of the words already and Brian helped him with the rest. You really should be proud of him."
"Trust me, I am. Aren't you up next?"
"Yeah. I better get the other guys up there. I'll see you soon, okay?"
"Definitely," I say, giving him a kiss before he leaves to go backstage with the others. Alex takes a seat where JC was and cheers loudly as he sees JC take the stage with Chris, Joey, Lance, and Justin after the BSB finish. 'NSync sings "For The Girl Who Has Everything," a song they have actually remade into a new single, which is one of my favorites.
Towards the end of the night, Alex gets sleepy so I decide to take him back to the room before JC is finished with the press conference thing they are doing that night. I wave good-bye to him and blow him a kiss before carrying Alex back to our room where I change him into his pajamas. I climb into his bunk and read him a story before climbing down and changing myself into a nightgown. By the time I come out of the bathroom, I see that Alex has climbed down and is now sleeping in my bed. I smile and slip into the bed next to him, wrapping my arms around him as he snuggles closer to me while I fall into a deep sleep.
I wake up to the door banging against the wall. "JC?"
"No, it's me," an unfamiliar voice says before showing his face. Oh God, it's the guy!
I let out a scream but he silences me with a slap before taking advantage of my stunned state to tie my legs together around my thighs so I couldn't kick him. He pushes me onto my side and ties my hands behind my back while I try screaming some more. He hits me again and then places a gag in my mouth. I look at Alex and see fear in his eyes while he cries.
"Mommy?" he whispers.
"Mommy is going to be fine if she obeys me. Don't you recognize me Alex? I'm your dad," the man says.
"No you aren't!"
"Yes I am and you will learn to respect me! Now come on, Mommy and I are taking you somewhere."
"Where?"
"It's a surprise. Come on Alex."
"No! I want JC to take me."
"Well, he's not here. Don't make me tie you up like Mommy."
"Don't hurt her."
"I won't. Now come along Alex."
God, what can I do? Alex, please don't listen to him.
"Okay."
Alex climbs over me and jumps down onto the floor. The guy yanks me up and practically drags me out of the room and into a stairwell nearby. When I put up a struggle, he yanks me until I fall and then tosses me over his shoulder, leading Alex with his free hand. Where the hell is everyone? Why isn't anyone here to stop him?
As I look down, I see that there is blood on the floor and notice it's coming from me. He must have created a wound with that last slap. I realize that Alex has started lagging behind this brute of a man and is starting to trip and fall as I watch helplessly as he gets dragged along, sometimes not even on his feet. I struggle to get free and only succeed in getting run into the wall.
"What is your problem? You know what? It would be much easier just to leave him here, where no one will probably find him. We are in one of the less traveled stairwells. Yeah, that is smarter. Down you go," he says, dropping me onto the ground as I have no choice but watch him tie Alex up and sit him in a corner with a gag in his mouth. I feel myself getting picked up again and taken away farther and farther away from my son. Please God, if you only grant me one thing, keep Alex safe...