a woman stands before a mirror.
she turns her head one way and then the other,
looking at her reflection.
different expressions cross her face,
and the reflection flickers,
as if different women stood before the glass.
but always the reflection shows
the same face

I'm like that.
There are so many different things
that come together to form me,
it is as if I were a plethora of different women.
Yet deep inside,
they are all me.
When I am feeling a certain way,
or experiencing a certain mood,
I prefer to slip on another persona,
as I would wear a choice perfume,
or pick a color of nail polish.
Some do not understand that.
Some do.
sigh

I wish to make all of you understand
who I am and why I am that way,
but it is very difficult
to put my soul into words.
Suffice it to say,
my many personas and handles
are not intended to decieve or confuse...
they are the easiest method at my disposal
of being the many mes that I am,
of expressing my many moods and emotions
without alienating friends,
or being limited by the way
I have been in the past...
please excuse any confusion this may cause.
And if you see me,
in any of my guises and personas...
please feel free to say hello and chat with me...

Now, what you have come for
Meet...
me.

• Lady Tatiana, in all of its forms: Auntie Tatie, Tat, Lady Tat, Tatiana, Tater Tot to my darling niece Angel, Rat-a-tat-Tat, et al. Usually used for chatting in the Castle...the handle that most Castle dwellers met me under. Used when I am in the mood for light role playing and silly antics. Tatiana is a flirt, but not much more, and would never desire to hurt anyone with her flirtations. She is however, as a dear friend once said, deeply sensual and not afraid to prove it.
  ~*~As for Tat as a character, she is tall, slender, well toned but not muscular. Tatiana has knee length silver hair. On occasion it is cropped, as in the undercover mission to paint Shadow Rider..*s* Tatiana is rarely found out of her silver bikini, and almost as often wears a hooded, floor length, black velvet cloak about her form. Her skin is tanned from time spent in the sun. Her eyes, green, flash with fire when her emotions are aroused, be they passion or anger. And they change shades from a pale peridot to the deepest hunter with her many moods...love and hate, joy and despair, mischieviousness and seriousness all have their individual shades.
  ~*~Tatiana is well trained with knives, and knows how to defend herself, having learned from a former lover who was employed as an assassin. She openly carries three blades - one on her left thigh, one on her left forearm, and one hanging at her waistband of her bikini, on her right hip. One of her knives has a black metal handle with three heart-shaped cutouts in it - it matches one she gifted to a sister, the Lady Victoria Cridhe. She has at times been known to produce up to 12 other knives at once, but it has not yet been discovered where she stores them. She is also well trained in the magical arts, although she rarely uses her powers for more than mild amusement or conjuration. She is also very rarely found in the company of one of her mystical mentors, a white cat named Felabba.
  ~*~You will never see Tatiana standing before a mirror. Her very reflection can blind her, changing her eyes from green to amber. Sightless, she can only regain her most valued sense of perception by crying tears of true pain, compassion, or love. The tears that fall in such an instance are tears of coldstone, a valued metal on the world she hails from. Tatiana is a Torloc sorceress, driven from her home by a cataclysmic collapse of the magical energies in her land.
  ~*~Tatiana journeyed to many lands before finding the welcoming atmosphere of the Castle. She has been adopted by the gypsy Esmerelda, and embraces her new family with all of her heart. She is married to Aegis Donachaide, a scottish warrior with violet eyes, and to Victoria's Secret, a bewitching woman who stole her heart. Tatiana holds her friendships sacred, and would die for those she loves. She is not afraid to speak her mind, and cares not what others think of her and her quirks, as long as she can believe in herself.
  
  
• Elorin of Varua, and all of its forms: Elorin, El, E., Elli, Elly. Also, handles related to Elorin: Beloved of Victoria, Revolutionary Lover #2, devilish visitor...there may be more, but you get the idea. *s* Used for chatting in the Powder Room, although sometimes other rooms when I feel like a "RT" chat...in other words, when I don't want to talk about silly or pointless things, but have an actual conversation. I am, as Elorin, a seductress, tease, and flirt, and shameless about it. Elorin is the handle I use when expressing my bisexuality to it's fullest. When I am chatting as Elorin, unlike my other handles, I am NOT slipping on a persona...I am simply chatting as me.
  ~*~I do not roleplay with Elorin. When you are speaking to Elorin, you are speaking to me. More than any of my handles, Elorin and Tatiana are the true mes, although I am myself in all of my guises. As Elorin and Tat, however, I am less likely to be trying to roleplay, or fit a certain character description. If I do roleplay Elorin, the difference is striking, and it is easy to tell the difference.
  ~*~Elorin does exist as a character, albeit not a very well developed one. On the occasions that I role played with Elorin, she was rather short, yet slender. Her skin is a pale ivory, with an underlying rosy glow. Her hair is shining ebony, and hangs lightly below her shoulders in rolling waves. Her eyes are ice blue. She wears navy blue slippers and a navy blue velvet cloak that hangs to her feet. Her dress is ice blue, showing a modest amount of cleavage and hugging the curves of her torso, then flaring out into a sweeping skirt, from underneath peep only the tips of her slippers.
  ~*~Elorin is a delicate lady, raised in a sheltered world of balls and etiquette. She does, however, know how to defend herself, and wields a slim jeweled dagger with some skill. She is rather shy, but warms quickly to a true friend. Elorin tries in all things to be proper and polite, but beware her wrath. She is slow to anger, but once her anger has built, there is no holding back. She easily berates those that belittle her friends, although she always regrets letting go of her emotions.
  
  
• Banja. Used for chatting in the Poet's Guild, and as a pen name for most of my serious writing. My essays almost always, if they appear, appear under this pen name. My poetry appears with this name occasionally. However, my poetry most often bears the handle most fitting to my mood at the time of the writing. My writing as Banja is contemplative and peaceful, very rarely teasing or playful.
  ~*~Banja was actually my first ever roleplaying handle, way back at the Red Dragon Inn on AOL my senior year in high school. As such, she is the only character I have developed in any way near as much as Tatiana.
  ~*~Banja is a gypsy and an assassin. While she loves bright gypsy colors, she never appears in any clothing other than her assassin's leathers, unless it is for swimming or dancing. She wears a rather loose, black leather tunic that falls to mid-thigh, black leggings, and black moccasin boots that lace up to her knees. She often wears a belt with various darkly colored leather pouches hanging from it. She is a master of knives and daggers, and often produces one to twirl or sharpen in moments of nervousness (around people) or boredom. On colder days, or when she needs to disguise something she carries, Banja is sometimes seen in a waist-length black cloak with a high collar.
  ~*~Banja is very softspoken, and while she has a sense of humor she rarely is found laughing or joking with a group of people. She is rather uncomfortable around large groups of people, and can usually be found at a corner table in the shadows, nursing a drink for appearances. She does not, however, ever get drunk. Her mood is easily judged by her waist length hair, which changes shades with her moods. Her silver eyes assess people and goods alike without bias, and their assessment is painfully accurate more often than not.
  ~*~Banja is only found among a group of people in two instances - if there is a pool about, she often dips in for a swim, regardless of the number of people about. She wears a white string bikini, but never removes the waterproof knife sheath on her right ankle for a swim.
  ~*~The other instance in which Banja willingly appears in a crowd is if she is asked to dance. Then she changes into a a glorious outfit, sometimes all black, but more often of bold reds, yellows, blues, purples, and greens. Then her gypsy blood displays itself wildly. She goes barefoot, with bells wrapped around one of her ankles, in long flowing skirt that drapes and flows magnificently. She wears silk handkerchiefs tucked into her waistband and wrapped around her waist and neck, with bells on the corners. And she wears a tightly fitting suggestive shirt, to be more sensual. When Banja dances, boys, look out. This demure assassin changes into a woman of fire and passion, and she has stolen the hearts of many steadfast knights with her smoky gazes and swaying hips.
  
  
• luet. used sometimes in the Castle or Vampire Garden for role play, as a faerie, and sometimes in the Wicked Chamber. For my 19th birthday, my current boyfriend had to leave me to my own devices and attend work. To make his amends for that, on his lunch hour he searched the internet for a gift for me. What he found was a glorious picture of a nude faerie, gazing into a pool of water. I have always loved faeries and was enchanted. This picture intrigued me, and I determined once I had started chatting that I would make a fae character to match the picture. And so, luet
  ~*~luet, is, as you have seen, a faerie. She is tiny and mischievous, and does not know of emotions such as hate and shame. She flits to and fro, and has been seen as short as two inches, and as much as a foot tall. She tinkles when she laughs, and is often found slapping her knees or holding her stomach to keep her mirth contained. She can produce pixie dust at will, and uses it for some of the most extraordinary things. Her curiosity has often gotten the better of her, and led her into some wonderful adventures.
  ~*~luet loves to cause mischief, but is never hurtful. She merely desires to make people laugh, especially those that seem down for some reason. She never wears more than her long blonde hair, and has been known to embarass the odd onlooker, blushing good-naturedly herself at their red cheeks. However, the blush is not modesty or shame. As she told someone once, tongue in cheek, "Of course faeries blush. We look good in red." luet can be found here and there, having fun and making people smile.
  
  
• Velvet's toy - used in the Wicked Chamber, to represent my relationship to my Husband, and to let people know two things: 1) I am "spoken for." 2)I am not a Dom/me. related handles: Dianycus's kitten, angelic faerie
• mareigha - used in the Gorean Tavern, and once to meet a friend and talk to just him, when i didn't feel like talking to anyone else. this handle has been completely retired - i will NEVER use it again.
• Lady Tamar - used once or twice in the Ladies Room at the Chathouse, now only used when in my editorial guise for the female adult fantasies section of the book of chatalot.
• Lindir - 100% role play handle. a "Cheysuli warrior", based loosely on a character from a set of books by Jennifer Roberson. used in the Castle, mostly
• Delembuvex, Dyel - another 100% roleplay handle. mishmash of ideas and characters from a variety of places
• My Car Drinks Evian - a really long, really wierd story. Just a cute name
• Powder Puff - another odd story, has to do with a friend who goes by Puffy Dustball, and my husband being known as "the Velvet Furball". please - don't ask..*lol*
• Robyn - only used for posting. My RT name. NOT to be confused with another girl who chats in the Powder Room as Robyn...which is why I only use it in conjunction with a handle most times