My name is Dawn. I am from Alaska, the land of the extra large! :-)
I have been fat all my life. I have heard, over the years, a thousand people tell me, "Oh you have such a pretty face!!" Leaving absolutly no question how ugly they percieved the rest of me to be. That has always really ticked me off! I mean who died and made them Fat Cell Police?
I was a fat baby, a fat little kid, a fat bigger kid, and now at 30yrs. old I am a fat adult. For many years I tried every diet known to mankind, fasting for up to two or three weeks at a time, liquid predigested protien for a couple months at a shot, only vegtables and juice, only protein, no bread, only complex carbs.....and the list goes on......
I have been approached in resturants by total strangers and told I was addicted to food and needed to attend Overeaters Ann. meetings, diet plans have been left in my mail box at work......and this list goes on as well.........
For a large portion of my life I refused to go out and eat in public or at any social function. I looked at myself in the mirror and have cried at what I saw. I come from a family of large people. For several generations we have been a large bunch! Even so the shame that I felt for myself began with the perception of large people that they held. To make my family proud of me was the driving force in my life for a very long time. I use the past tense because I do not see myself as ugly anymore. I have come to know , in what very well may have been one of the single most defining moments of my life, that my worth is not contingent upon my brothers or my sisters or parents or society in general! To me FAT is not a dirty word! I am proud of my life and the victoies that I have shed blood, sweat and tears (many tears) to win! And fat, skinny or in between, I am still here, by the grace of my heavenly Father and I really don't think that He gives a care how big I am! There are still a few planets bigger than me! :-)
When I see other BBW's I am struck by their beauty as well!
The key to how others see me is how I see myself and I and my sisters are definately BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!!!!!
Thanks for letting me share my story!
Blessed Be.