Poca's Tale
The door slammed open and a man dressed all in black, with black hair and flashing green eyes, stepped into the tavern. All eyes turned toward him, including mine. He surveyed the room with smug self-assurance, and instantly I decided that I loathed the man. The way his eyes raked over everyone - including me - and the way he so easily dismissed us all, made me furious. I turned my back on him and promised to ignore his presence.
That became difficult when he began speaking treasonous words. He boasted that King James, the ruler of the realm, was not the true king. He claimed that he was the real king, and that soon he would prove it. King James had shown me much kindness, so I could not let this man’s comments pass. I stood up and told him exactly what I thought, and exactly where he could go.
His face took on an amused expression as he slowly advanced on me. He looked me over, from head to toe, as if scrutinizing everything. And when he looked into my eyes, it was as if he could see into the very depths of my soul. I took a deep breath and stared him down.
“King James is a weakling, and any man, or woman, who follows him is a fool.” He leered at me, and lifted a finger to my cheek. “A beauty… It makes up for the lack of brains I guess.”
Furious, I lashed out at him with my hand. However, before it could connect with his face, he caught it. He glared down at me. “Temper, temper… Control yourself, my lady, lest you find out how I really respond to such actions.”
I scowled back at him and wrenched my hand free. “You had best be careful, my lord, lest you find out how I respond to threats.” Knowing it would thrust my point home, I turned to my friend and commented, “They really shouldn’t let fools like him out of the asylum.”
In the space of a heartbeat I found myself spun around and pressed close to his chest, his face only inches from mine. “You tread on very dangerous ground, my dear. Be careful, you just might get burned.”
“I’m not afraid of you,” I hissed back.
“You should be, my dear. You should be.” With that, he released me and turned to his companion. “Come, the air in this tavern grows stale.” As they strode to the door, I stood rooted to my spot, unable to take my eyes off the man. At the door, he turned and surveyed me once more. His eyes bore into mine as he said, “I will be seeing you again.” And then he was gone…
"But, milady, you canna go out alone. King James would be furious if he found out."
"Then don't tell him."
"But if somethin' were ta happen ta you, he'd know, and I'd lose my job."
"Then I won't let anything happen."
"Milady..."
"Please."
I gave him my most stubborn look - a look that had won me days of privacy in the past by grooms far more stubborn than him. He relented, and helped me into the saddle. I smiled sweetly down at him and took off. Within minutes I was out of sight of the castle and I spurred my horse into a gallop. I rode across a large field, enjoying the feel of the wind through my hair.
Soon, I slowed the horse to a walk and breathed deeply of the warm spring air. The sun gently warmed my back and I began to feel better than I had in quite some time. It was in the midst of enjoying this sense of freedom that I heard a horse thundering up behind me. I kicked my horse into a fast paced gallop, but I had not gone far before the other rider overtook me and latched on to my horse's bridle.
He pulled my horse to a stop and leapt down to the ground, never letting go of the bridle. All I had time to note was his black hair and black clothes before he roughly pulled me out of my saddle. I found myself staring into the face of the man from the tavern. At the moment he looked furious, but his voice was very cool and controlled as he said, "You little fool."
He was scowling at me, and I could do nothing but stare at him and say, "Excuse me?"
Then he unleashed his fury and started yelling at me as one would yell at a disobedient and disrespectful child. "You stupid, foolish woman! Have you no brains in that pretty little head of yours?!?" He towered over me, glaring, as if expecting an answer.
"How dare you talk to me in that manner!!"
"How dare I? How dare you!! You could have been killed!!! Have you nothing but air for brains?!? What if it had been a thief or a murderer instead of me?!? You could be dead by the road now! Or worse!!!"
"What business is it of yours what I do and where I go and who goes with me?!?"
"It is my business because James would no doubt send me out to bring your body home and find the one who killed you, and that would waste weeks of my time just because you got it into your head to go off riding alone!"
I couldn't believe this man. My death, an inconvenience to him! I wanted to slap him, but I remembered what happened the last time I did that, and his temper was not as controlled now as it had been then. Who knows what the man might do. So, instead of replying, I simply turned my back on him and started to remount my horse.
"Oh no you don't!" He grabbed me about the waist and yanked me back to the ground, then spun me around to face him. "You are not going anywhere."
"Take your hands off me, sir!! I am leaving this place at once, and you cannot stop me."
His dark eyes hinted at a moment of humor before returning to their normal piercing nature. "Oh I can't? Don't be so sure." And then he lifted me onto the saddle of his horse and mounted behind me.
"What do you think you're doing!?!?"
"I am taking you back to the castle, and I have half a mind to tell James to lock you away in your rooms until you've developed some sense."
I tried to slide off the horse, but he wrapped an arm about my waist and held me firmly in place. "Let me down now! You have no right!"
"I have all the right in the world, now sit still or I'll make sure this is a very uncomfortable ride for you."
With that, he grabbed the reins of my horse, and kicked his own into motion and took me back to the castle. We did not speak the entire ride. When we reached the stables, Damian stood there, looking very pleased with himself. My "captor" smiled down at him when Damian said, "I knew ye'd find her, milord. Thank you. Dinna want my neck broke over some stubborn woman." I merely scowled at the two men and stormed into the castle before either could stop me.
One afternoon, a few days after the riding spectacle, he invited me to visit the royal art gallery with him. He knew I was fond of beautiful paintings, and since it was raining outside, he thought it would offer a few hours of welcome entertainment. We'd only been surveying the paintings for about half an hour when a messenger arrived, telling Dartanian that his father requested his presence immediately. Dartanian looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, my lady. I will escort you back to your rooms before I meet my father."
Then a voice spoke out from just a few feet behind us. "That will not be necessary, boy. I shall show the lady about the gallery until she's looked her fill."
Both Dartanian and I turned to see the dark stranger from my two previous encounters. Dartanian looked no happier to see him than I was. "I really do not think that wise, my lord." Dartanian turned to me. "I will bring you back another time, perhaps, and we shall finish our tour."
I nodded and took his arm, but the stranger was not so eager to let it go. "My boy, I would take it as a personal insult if you were to spirit her away. Do you think so poorly of me that you will not allow me to show your companion the wonders of art rather than condemning her to boredom locked away in her rooms on such a rainy day?"
Dartanian had no answer to this. I spoke up. "There is some correspondence that I have been neglecting for far too long. I will not be bored, I assure you."
The man stepped closer to me. "The correspondence can wait, my dear." He took my arm and gently, but firmly, pulled me away from Dartanian and towards the next painting. Dartanian only had time for a quick response.
"I'll be back as soon as I can..."
The man and I walked quietly for a short time after Dartanian left. I tried more than once to dislodge my arm from his, but he would not let it go. Once he was sure we were alone, he stopped and turned to face me. "We have not been formally introduced, my dear. My name is Litaco." I was about to say something, but he put a finger to my lips. "Yes, I know who you are, dear. You are the lovely Poca, honored guest of James and Myria. I believe your mother was close friends with Myria's mother." He then bowed to me and raised my fingers to his lips. I again tried to speak, and again he stopped me. "There is no need for words, my sweet. I can see what you are going to say, and no apologies are necessary. I can understand a young woman's wish for some privacy, but now I'm sure you understand the true dangers of it and will not try it again." As he spoke, he'd been slowly moving me towards the next paining. I stopped and pulled his progress to a halt.
"I most certainly _will_ do it again! Only the next time Damian won't know to call you in to play father and drag me back!"
Litaco's pleasant expression deepened into a scowl of frustration. "Have you learned nothing? I could have killed you."
"You think you could have killed me, but you don't know that." I pulled my arm away from him and stared directly into his eyes. "Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to return to my rooms. Goodbye." I turned and began to walk away. When I was only a short distance from him, I thought I heard him mutter the words, "The last thing I want to be is your father..." but I wasn't sure, and did not wish to continue the confrontation by turning around and asking him to repeat.
I found Litaco waiting for me at the bottom of the stairwell. I tried to ignore him and walk past, but he took hold of my arm and wrapped it around his. "Good evening, my dear. I hope you finished writing all of your letters."
I merely frowned and nodded.
"Good. I heard of young Dartanian's departure, and thought that perhaps you'd like a new dinner companion this eve. Queen Myria was quite willing to place me next to you in the seating order."
I turned my head and glared at him, but again said nothing. I knew that to offer up a response was exactly what he wanted, so I held my tongue. I remained that way through most of the meal. He spoke at length about horses, architecture, and even the latest fashions, and I just sat there, doing my best to look polite and still ignore him as much as possible. He finally grew tired of my silence and contrived a way to make me speak.
"Lord Rawn and I were talking earlier about some of the bards who have visited the court lately, and were undecided as to who is the best. Perhaps you can offer your opinion. I believe that Tobin was by far the best, but Rawn insists that Tilal was. Which do you prefer?"
I looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Neither."
He raised an eyebrow at this. "Do explain."
"I simply think that both men were inferior to Milar."
"Milar? The man is a sentimental bore."
"A sentimental bore?!? He tells tales of passion and emotion. He understands more of the human heart and soul than most men could ever dream of knowing. The other two tell tales of male posturing and gore. It does not take much to describe a battle, and the more gruesome the tale, the more popular it is here, it seems. But Milar is a philosopher and a man of great brilliance. His tales far exceed the simple ramblings of Tobin and Tilal."
Litaco sat back and stared at me for a moment, then nodded slowly. For the first time that evening he stopped talking and focused on his food. We barely spoke another word until he escorted me to my rooms that night. He bowed over my hand and wished me a good rest, then disappeared down the hall.
I awoke the next morning and found a leather pouch resting on the stand next to my bed. I opened it and pulled out dozens of pages of parchment. I began to read the fine, pristine script and realized that I was reading a collection of Milar's greatest tales. I called Tara into my room and asked her who had sent the gift. She said it arrived by messenger in the middle of the night and that she was ordered to place it in a way that I would find it when I first awoke. Not taking my eyes off the pages, I dismissed her. "Could it have been him?" I thought to myself. No, it must have been another who overheard our conversation the night before. He could never do anything so kind.
So, left to my own devices, I soon grew extremely bored. A storm blew in over the land and kept us all locked away inside for days, watching the rain and allowing the gloominess to seep into our own spirits. However, before the week was out, the rain swept out to sea and we were graced with a beautiful, sunny day. Tired of being locked away inside with only Tayla and a tedious game to keep me company, I decided to venture out into the warm afternoon and rest by a nearby stream.
As I was preparing to go, I found out that somehow Litaco had made it known to all of the servants in the castle that I was not to go out alone ever again. I expressed my anger over this presumption to a few unfortunate servants before finally agreeing to take one of Damian's grooms along with me. The stableman smiled at me and nodded his head as he assigned one of his largest, meanest looking grooms to accompany me to the edge of the forest. He promised me he'd stay out of my way and not interfere in my peaceful afternoon.
So, I packet a small lunch, a large, soft blanket, and the leather bound copies of Milar's tales, and set off for the small stream at the edge of the castle property. I found a warm spot near the banks of the stream and laid out my blanket. Then I began reading and got lost in the tale of Bernice and Bedrick, a pair of stubborn people who were destined, because of Cupid's arrows and their friends' schemes, to fall in love.
I was nearing the end of the tale when I felt an arm wrap around my waist, and a hand cover my mouth. I tried to move, but was pulled back against a strong chest and held tightly there. I could not scream, and was struggling frantically when I heard a low, familiar voice speak in my ear.
"See how easy it is, my dear, to take advantage of a lady who is out on her own?" He took his hand from my mouth so I could respond.
"I had an escort! Where the devil is he?" I asked as I looked around for the groom.
"I sent him back to the stables," Litaco replied, a grin crossing his face.
"You had no right! Why did you do that?"
"You have no need of him. I am here," he answered, quite matter-of-factly.
"I have need of him expressly _because_ you are here." He threw his head back and laughed at this, and I used the opportunity to tug against the arm that was holding me. I almost succeeded, but he merely tightened his grip.
"You fear me then, my dear? Or is it that you fear yourself?" His breath again brushed my cheek as he leaned close.
Every nerve in my body told me to be wary, to get away from this man as soon as possible. My mind was quickly running through everything I could possibly say to this man, searching for something that would make him let go of me faster. "What woman wouldn't fear you? I've heard all the tales about how you destroy everything you touch, especially women. Every woman at court with half a brain despises you."
He released me then. It was exactly the outcome I had hoped for... but somehow, I felt a sense of loss once I had obtained my freedom. "We will see how much you despise me, my dear. We will see..." And then he stood and held out a hand to me. "We should return you to the castle. It's growing late, and I still have to report to James."
"Go then. I'm not stopping you. I didn't ask you to come here before going to the king."
He leaned down and positioned his face just a few inches from my own. "I am not leaving you out here alone. Now, stand up like a good little girl and come with me, or I _will_ carry you back to the castle. It's your choice."
I sat there, staring stubbornly up at him. I wasn't going to let this man intimidate me. He was already too sure of himself, I wouldn't give him that extra power. "I'm staying."
He growled and grabbed hold of my arms, none too gently pulling me to my feet. Milar's tales dropped, forgotten, to the ground as I stared into his dark eyes. His voice was barely a whisper, "You, my dear, are too stubborn for your own good." As he spoke, he released one arm and put his hand in the small of my back. I was mesmerized by the look in his eyes... He leaned closer and pulled me in, then gently brushed his lips over mine. I felt as if everything around us had melted away and as if I was losing myself in this man...
He pulled away slightly, but did not release me. He looked into my eyes and whispered, "The young pup is not good enough for you. Dartanian is just a boy..."
The sound of Dartanian's name was like cold water hitting my senses. I gasped and abruptly pulled away. I couldn't say a thing. Leaving all of my belongings behind, I turned and ran back in the direction of the castle, hoping to run as far away from this man as it would take to stop the rapid pulsing of my heart. I heard him call out to me once, but I did not stop until I had reached the safety of my rooms, and then, I fell on my bed and cried tears of self-recrimination, hating myself for my weakness, vowing then and there to never again speak to this man who could so easily make me forget myself.
I sat there most of the day, staring out at the trees and thinking back on my childhood. I was a privileged daughter of privileged parents, and I never lacked for anything. But what I wanted most was the approval of my parents and all adults around me. I learned at a young age that the way to gain that was to be sweet and obedient, and so I was. I was docile, and quiet, and very often, shy. Adults loved me for it. I was the model little girl.
But as I grew older, I realized that it was the sweet, quiet girl who got overlooked, and eventually bartered away in marriage, too meek to fight for a life of her own. I didn't want any part of that. I didn't want people to make my decisions for me. So, I began looking for a way to stand up for myself, to let my wishes be known. I finally found a way to manage that while watching my father's sister one day. She had never been bartered away in marriage, and she always got what she wanted. She was always called headstrong, and sometimes called a shrew, but she ran her own life and seemed quite happy with it. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, had men flocking to be near her, and I wanted to be just like her. So, I followed her around, day and night, learning everything I could from her. Over the course of a few years she taught me how to be independent and self assured; how to stand up for myself and not let others make my decisions for me.
This new attitude distressed my parents. They liked their sweet, biddable daughter, and could not understand why I'd changed. But it was too late to stop it. I had a mind of my own, and the power now to express it. However, they sought to temper my attitude, and when I was 17 years old my parents sent me away to live with an old dowager, promising her a large sum of money if she would help curb my stubborn ways. Unbeknownst to them, she had a stubborn streak to rival my own, and she encouraged my independence. We grew close and came to care for one another much like a grandmother and granddaughter do. A year later, when my parents and aunt fell ill, and then died, she took me in and cared for me as her own. And then, six months after my parents' deaths, Lady Viola died as well, leaving me truly alone in the world...
Lost in my memories, I did not hear the knock on the door to my rooms. Nor did I hear Tara's protest as she was pushed aside and forced to admit the visitor. I was aware of nothing until a voice spoke gently from across the room.
"What thoughts have taken you so far away from here, my dear?"
I turned, startled, and quickly brushed away the tears that had started to form in my eyes. There he stood, in the doorway, dressed all in black. But, rather than the usual mocking grin, his face wore an expression of concern.
Still partially caught up in the memories of the past, my voice didn't hold its normal biting tone as I replied, "I told Tara not to admit anyone. How did you get in here?"
"Your maid did not willingly permit my entrance. Do not blame her." He tilted his head slightly and looked me over carefully. "I stood in your doorway for some time and you did not notice me. You were hundreds of leagues away, and you were crying. Where were you, my dear?" He spoke with more gentleness than I ever expected from this man.
I blinked, momentarily unable to speak. "It... It was nothing." I stood and then looked at his face without meeting his eyes. "I am not feeling well. Please... Please just leave."
He shook his head and moved to stand in front of me. He took my chin in his hand and lifted my face, making me look him in the eye. I did not see mockery dancing there, rather, they were softened with true concern. "My dear, I am sorry if I am the cause of your pain. I did not mean to hurt you. I only meant to show you what could be, if you would let it..." He pulled me close to his chest. "My dear, you must see it. You must feel it. It was meant to be." He stood there, holding me close, stroking my hair, and, for an insane moment, I let him. I forgot who we were, where we were, and I allowed him to hold me close. I felt warm and secure there in his arms, and it allowed me to forget the memories of being lost and alone. I would have stayed there too, had Litaco not spoken again.
"We will be quite suited for one another, my dear, and you need not worry about marrying me. I have a small summer home that you will fit well in. You'll be happy there, I assure you."
My heart stopped beating for a moment. Here I had allowed this man to offer me comfort when all he wanted was to make me his mistress and hide me away in the country. I was furious. I placed my palms firmly against his chest and shoved him away from me. "Get out."
He looked at me, shock etched on his handsome features. "What?"
"Get out now - before I call the entire guard down upon your head!"
"My dear... Why..."
I pointed forcefully towards the door. "GET OUT!!!"
With an incredulous look on his face, he turned and started for the door. When he reached the archway, he spun on his heel and stared at me, his face dark and clouded. "We are not finished, my dear. We _shall_ speak again." And he left.
I stood there a moment before slamming the door with all my might. "We'll see about that."
I found him standing near a stone bench, his hands clasped behind his back. I could tell that he'd been pacing nervously, and his bright red uniform was crumpled along the bottom edge where he'd obviously been tugging on it as he always did when anxious. When he saw me approach, a smile broke out on his face.
"Poca, I was afraid you wouldn't show." He extended an eager hand to me.
"Now why would I do that?"
"I was afraid I'd been away too long, and that you'd forgotten me." I shook my head and took his hand, letting him lead me to the bench.
"Tanian, we've been friends far too long for that to happen, and you know it." He grinned boyishly for a moment and sat next to me.
"We have been friends a long time, haven't we?"
"Yes, we have." He fell silent then, and tugged again at his coat. "Tanian, is everything well? Nothing went wrong with your business, did it?" I leaned over, looking at him with concern.
"Oh! No! Everything is fine. Actually, everything is more than fine."
"It is?"
"Yes, dear Poca, it is. It seems that I have come into my own. I found that a very distant cousin, who I only knew in my boyhood, passed on and left me a large inheritance, with my own estate included." His smile was broader than I'd ever seen it.
"Tanian, that's wonderful! Well, perhaps not for your cousin, but for you. I'm so happy for you!" Dartanian had always been frustrated with his forced dependence on his father and older brother. Now he could have the independence that he so desperately wanted.
"I hoped you would be." His face suddenly turned serious. He took my hands and stared into my eyes. "Poca... We have been good friends for a very long time. I have admired you and been enchanted by you from the moment I met you." He paused, as if waiting for a sign from me.
"Thank you, Tanian. I'm honored. And, you know I care a great deal about you. You've been a good friend."
He smiled then, and before I knew what was happening, he dropped to one knee before me. "I had hoped... Poca, while I was away from you, I missed your smiling face, and your company. I realized that I don't ever want to be without you again. I know you don't love me as I do you, but I'm sure that will grow with time." He looked at me expectantly.
"Tanian, what are you saying?" I knew the answer, but still had to ask the question.
"Poca, will you marry me?" As he said the words, I noticed movement over his shoulder. There, just a few feet away, clad all in black, stood Litaco.
I didn't know how long he'd been standing there, but he had obviously heard Dartanian's proposal. His face was cold and his eyes bored into mine. I looked at him for a moment, transfixed by his expression, and only turned away when Dartanian pressed my fingers gently and whispered my name.
"Tanian, I... I don't know what to say," I said, looking back into his eyes.
His face fell momentarily, but soon he lifted my fingers to his lips and kissed each hand in turn. "Shhhhh... You need not answer now. Take your time, for you should never be rushed into any decision." He smiled up at me and released one of my hands to reach into his pocket. He drew out a small velvet bag and placed it in my hand. Releasing the other hand he said, "Open it."
My eyes looked questioningly at his as I did what he asked. Inside the bag was a small ring. An amethyst and an emerald sat nestled together in a silver setting. "Tanian, I couldn't wear this."
"Please. It is yours. No matter what your answer is, I want you to have it." He took the ring from my palm and gently slid it onto the ring finger of my left hand. He then placed his palm on my cheek. "You mean the world to me, Poca. I hope you realize that." I just nodded as my eyes strayed over his shoulder, back to the man in black who still stood there, frowning now.
Tanian rose, catching my attention once more, and lightly brushed his lips over mine. There was no feeling of fire at the touch, just the feel of a warm exchange between friends.
"I must go meet with my father now. I'll see you at dinner." He left then, without even noticing the man who stood scowling at him. I looked down at the ring on my finger for a moment, then realized it would probably be best if I left too, before Litaco could say anything to me.
I stood to leave, but it was already too late. I found myself staring into a very angry, very dark face. His eyes were shooting fire, and for once I was truly afraid of him. When he spoke, his voice was dangerously low and ice cold. "Are you going to say yes?"
"Excuse me?"
He grabbed my left hand roughly in his and jerked it up so we could both see the ring. "Are you going to say yes?"
I tried to pull my hand out of his, but couldn't. Furious, I lashed back at him. "And what if I do?!? What does it matter to you?!? At least he wants to make me his wife and not his mistress!!!" I used my spare hand to push against his chest and force him out of my way. I tried to walk away from him, but he still held my wrist and jerked me back to him.
"You will _never_ marry him. Never." He released me then and stormed away, leaving me staring down at his fingerprints on my wrist, and the ring that clung coldly to my finger.
I tried to scream, but a large hand gently covered my mouth and a stranger's voice said, "Please, my lady, don't scream." He released me then, and I spun around to see who had so rudely, but gently, stopped me from following Litaco.
He was quite tall, well over six feet, with light brown hair and eyes to match. He was dressed all in grey, with a sword hanging comfortably at his waist. This man was obviously no stranger to combat, and yet, as he looked down at me, I felt no fear.
"Who are you?" I asked.
Bowing at the waist, he replied, "My name is Torak, my Lady. At your service."
"If you are at my service, sir, then why did you stop me just now, and why are you blocking the only exit?"
"It's for your own good, my Lady." I rolled my eyes at this. I was growing very tired of men obstructing my freedom with the claim, "it's for your own good." He saw this and shook his head. "Truly, my Lady. I hesitate to think what Litaco may have said or done to you in his present state of mind. He is not at all rational at the moment. In fact, I've rarely ever seen him this angry. He would eat you alive in a matter of moments."
I peered at the man before me, wondering how he knew so much about Litaco. "He would eat me alive?"
"My Lady, I'm afraid he would. Litaco is not one to let people get under his skin, but somehow you've managed to do so, and that in itself frustrates him."
"But he hardly knows me."
"My Lady, he knows more about you than you think."
"How?"
"I'm not at liberty to say," he replied, "but don't be fooled by the brevity of your mutual acquaintance. Litaco never enters into anything without being fully prepared." He looked me over again, nodding as he did so. "It is safe now, my Lady, for you to continue on your way, so I shall take my leave." He bowed and before I could say a word to detain him, he disappeared through the opening.
I stood there, absorbing everything this man had said to me, and pondering over the things he had omitted. As I stood there, I noticed another small break in the foliage. It opened at the other end to reveal the bench where I had sat with Dartanian, and argued with Litaco. Torak had seen it all, and knew that I was going to run after Litaco. I shook my head, trying to figure out this strange man who could either be a guardian angel, or perhaps a threat, and left the hidden grotto. There was much to think about now, and I needed time and space to do so.
I parted the curtain of leaves and stepped over exposed roots as I climbed to a small, natural seat near the base of the trunk. There I sat, holding my cloak tightly around my shoulders, shivering slightly though I was not truly cold. I leaned my head back against the ancient tree and sighed sadly. Staring down at my hands I noticed the jewels that sparkled on that one finger. Dartanian’s Ring. It was a gift from a man who loved me, or at least, thought he did. In my own way, I loved him too, but at the same time, I knew it was a love of friendship and comfort, not one of passion or fire. Dartanian was one of the dearest friends I’d ever known, and we thought alike. We shared similar dreams, similar views, yet, something was missing. I felt no thrill at his touch. I did not lay awake at night, longing for him. When he was around, I was happy. And when he was not around… I was still happy. I knew in that moment that I did not truly love the man, not as he deserved, and to marry him would condemn us both to a life of simple familiarity, with no true love to speak of. Soon we would grow bored. What then?
Of course, wouldn’t boredom be better than the other alternative? Litaco, the man who had haunted every waking moment of late, only wanted me to be his mistress. Where Dartanian offered comfort and stability, Litaco offered danger and excitement. I felt a tumult of emotion whenever I saw him, and a storm of feelings crashed over me whenever we touched. I was constantly yelling at him, and he was overbearing and entirely too arrogant. And yet, I secretly enjoyed every encounter and held my breath in anticipation whenever I thought I might see him. Why? The man made me miserable. He was always ordering me about and treating me like a child. Why should I wish to see him again?
The answer forced its way into my head and refused to be denied. “You’re in love with him,” it said. In love, with Litaco? No. Anyone but him. I hated the man, didn’t I?
I tried desperately to recall all of the reasons I despised him, but the only memories that presented themselves were of his warm embrace, his deep voice, his words of endearment. I shook my head then, to clear my mind, and called out to the sky above, “Why can’t I just love Dartanian?”
“Because your heart belongs to me,” came the hoarse reply from the opposite side of the trunk…
He sat in a seat similar to mine and was calmly twining together ropes of willow devoid of their leaves. I was almost fooled by his unaffected demeanor, until I noticed that his hands shook as he worked, and he refused to look up from his task, however useless it was.
"What are you doing here? Can I never escape your presence?"
"Excuse me? You are the one who invaded my peace, my dear." Still he did not look up.
"Had I known you were here I would have run in the other direction."
"I'm sure you would have, and all alone, no doubt. But here you are. Ironic, hmmm?"
"Not for long. Good day, sir." I turned on my heel and began to storm away, but his next words stopped me.
"Ah, yes, run away as you always do, my dear. I had thought better of you, but obviously I was wrong."
Furious, I turned on him. "Yes, you were wrong. You know nothing about me. You assume to know it all, but you are as ignorant as you are arrogant. Don't pretend that you know me, or that I disappoint you, because I am not who you think I am, nor will I ever be who you wish me to be."
This brought him to his feet, the strands of willow forgotten on the ground. "There you are wrong, my dear. I do know you. Quite well, in fact. You are the one making assumptions, as you know nothing of me." He slowly stepped over the roots dividing us and came to stand before me. He placed a finger under my chin and looked down at me with surprisingly tender eyes. "I do know you, my dear," he whispered. He then took my left hand in his and lifted my fingers to his lips. "You seek peace here, and so I shall leave you to your thoughts, but I promise you, most of them will be of me." He kissed my hand before I could pull it away, then bowed to me. "I shall send a groom to escort you back in an hour's time. Until later, my dear." And he left.
I stood there for a moment, blinking, wondering what had just happened, then looked down at the ground where the willows lay entwined. My thoughts were swimming in my head, and I could do nothing but stand there, until I looked down at the hand that Litaco had kissed, the hand that held Dartanian's ring... except, the ring was not there...
