For those who believe in "New Year's Resolutions"...
which I assuredly do not

I do not make New Year's resolutions, and have no desire to be told which another suggests. However, for those who enjoy such pastimes, I have decided to present random resolutions from which you may choose - which, at the least, should give you some variety.

So, try one of the following (prefix each with "during the coming year" for full effect):

• I'll not bore others to tears mentioning my diet (calling it a "food plan", "portion control", or "the new food pyramid" is worse yet), exercise class, self-improvement kick, or efforts to give up smoking. I'll realise that this is a bid for attention, and that I am making myself centre stage by using a topic that the other cannot openly admit is boring without being judged as "non-supportive."
• If I am over the age of 10, I'll accept that the "class clown" is a bore, and will neither quote the "snappy comebacks" that were old when Rome was young nor drop the sort of remarks that are witty only in the theatre.
• Meddling will not be a part of my life. I'll increase my sensitivity by recognising that, at any time that I find myself saying "I'm only trying to help you", meddling is probable. The words "I'm only concerned about your health" raise the probability to certainty.
• I'll seek time for what really matters to me - and, if these happen to be a cultural, intellectual, or spiritual pursuits, I'll pursue them nonetheless, not sacrifice it to the exercise classes that supposedly are the only thing "one does for one's self." I also will value these pursuits regardless of whether they are increasing my income.
• I'll seek to cultivate wisdom - but be aware that a desire for the appearance of wisdom is the surest way to prevent developing the genuine treasure.
• I will never assume that others want my advice or my comments about their personal habits.
• However, if someone asks my opinion or advice (particularly if there is good reason, such as my having knowledge in an area or being a close friend whose opinion the other respects), I shall answer honestly - not hide behind "therapy talk" by merely repeating what the other said.
• I'll remember that I have two ears and only one mouth.
• I'll be very aware that "backhanded compliments" are worse than blatant insults - and that, if I've uttered any, I am only seeking to convince myself of my own superiority.
• If I truly seek to help others, I'll never try to offer the answers before I've truly listened to the questions. I'll accept that others may not want to "talk about it" - or that, if they do, they may not wish me to be the person in whom they confide. I'll never respond with cliches - these prove only that I am looking for a reputation for wisdom by parroting nonsense that can be hurtful or cruel.
• I'll realise that practising amateur psychology is no different from assuming that, having read a book about first aid, I am qualified to perform heart surgery.
• I'll assume nothing about others. This will only construct a wall between the person I seek to help and myself.
• I'll treat my children with the same respect that I would show for those I most value as friends.
• I'll allow my children to mature - not seek to control them under the guise of not making them "grow up too fast."
• I'll refrain from comparing my spouse to anyone else's.
• I'll remember that gym socks and shoes paired with a skirt (or anything except "workout" attire) rank amongst the ugliest sights on earth.
• I'll accept my true feelings - and not let any popular trend or self-help book make me pretend, to myself or others, that I feel differently.
• I'll remember that we never know what problems another person has - and therefore refrain from such detestable catchphrases as "you shouldn't let things bother you" or "you get out of life what you put into it."
• I'll not seek the spotlight. Doing so will only make me slight or deride others in the process.
• I'll look for reasons to laugh - in true enjoyment rather than nervousness or ridicule.
• I'll speak of my own personal problems (that don't require professional help) to one close friend, once only.
• I'll be honest with myself.
• I shall not play ego games - or, if that is too much to accomplish in a year, at least become aware of when I am doing so.
• I'll be happy to see another achieve success - not belittle the accomplishment with such words as "it must be nice to have time to ... "
• I'll never assume that others who apparently have accomplished less than I have could have done anything they set their minds to doing.
• I won't hate myself if I, having made every effort, do not have everything I want or have accomplished less than others.
• I won't allow myself to believe that actions that are loving and caring are demonstrations of "poor self-esteem"
• I will not assess anyone's self-esteem, nor even mention the expression.
• I'll live my life as I choose, not in the manner that others say I should.
• I'll cherish my own gifts and creativity and seek outlets for using them.
• I'll never assume that one who is childless is so by choice, nor that the mother of a large family is "oppressed" and her children accidents.
• I'll value love, in all of its forms, over achievement - and, in doing so, find true pleasure in what I do achieve.
• I'll stay away from magazines, books, and other media that lead me to believe that I am ugly, "unfit", or unmotivated- remembering that such nonsense is only advertising, not truth.
• I won't "put myself down" - and, if another does so, will make it plain to her that I know what she is doing.
• I won't look for evidence of an "ism" where it doesn't exist
• I won't assume that women are always right and men always wrong
• I won't begin any of my sentences with "They say..."
• I'll enjoy and cultivate my intelligence, but never descend to that pompous arrogance of wanting to prove myself an intellectual
• I'll realise that, were 100 people polled about anything, there would probably be 100 different responses - and therefore not base my decisions on what I hope or fear others may think
• I'll accept and admit when I am wrong, but, if I have done no wrong, I'll not defend myself.
• I will respect the beliefs of others without compromising my own ... but will not look for a soapbox to proclaim those I do hold
• I'll not torture myself with thoughts of how perfect my life would be had I only done this-or-that differently.
• If I believe in God, I won't fall into the trap of creating Him in my own image.
• If I am asked for an opinion, I'll tell the truth - not give the "correct" response.
• I won't give my opinion about books I have not read, films I have not seen, or issues of which I know nothing. (As well, I'll not hide my lack of knowledge under "who has time to read? - I'll just keep quiet.)
• I'll cultivate the art of conversation.
• I'll strive to be happy - but never fall into the trap of believing that anyone is perfectly so

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