Dear Dr. Holmes:
I'd like to seek your valuable professional advice regarding a "One Night Stand" that has been bothering me for a year. It happened last summer. My friends (all guys) and I went for an overnight stay at a beach in Mindoro. Having left early in the morning, we arrived there just in time to enjoy the clear water, the sand, the sun and of course---girls.
We eventually befriended a group of 4 girls who just graduated from college in Manila. Like us, they went to the beach to celebrate. I got attracted to one of them instantly. That evening, we invited them for a drinking spree & a night swim along the shore. Luckily, they obliged. And so that night, it started.
We drank gin (Gilbey's) with them along the shore. During the course of the drinking spree, I sat beside the girl I was attracted to and talked to her, knowing that she had no boyfriend and that she was searching for one.
As the 2 of us were getting tipsy (...just enough!) and enjoying each other's company (I was somewhat already courting her too), both of us separated from the group to take a stroll away & get to know more about each other. When we were already far enough not to be seen, we sat again along the shore and talked for a while. Unexpectedly, our conversation led to a point that I kissed her and she liked it naman. She liked it even more when I started to caress/pet her.
When it seemed that she was turned on by what we were doing, she voluntarily took off her swimsuit and we made love right there and then along the side of the beach. (NOTE: We were both tipsy when it happened & neither of us expected it to happen. I did not force myself on her either.) All I know is that the events just happened so fast that I thought we fell in love with each other because we liked each other & I got attracted to her and I presumed she was attracted to me too, simply because it wouldn't have happened if she weren’t.
After we had had sex however, at the back of my mind, something told me that I shouldn't have done it and it surely gave me a guilty feeling or conscience that I somehow took advantage of her.
Anyway, after we did "it," she put on her swimsuit & we sat and talked again. Her face close to mine, she sat on my lap and wrapped her thighs around my waist/hips while her arms were entangled around my neck (we were so sweet at that moment). She still wanted another round but my conscience already hit me & told me not to do it. However, the kissing continued. It was during that time (our tipsiness/intoxication already wearing off) that I asked her if "kami na talaga?" or if she wanted me to be her boyfriend and she said: "YES!" She also said that she won't change her mind even when her tipsiness completely wears off or if she comes back to her normal senses the following day. At that moment, you would believe that we were really inseparable sweet lovers basking under the moonlight & cold night at the beach.
Sensing it was already late (past 3 a.m.), we (holding hands pa!) decided to return back with the group but they were already gone, so I just accompanied her back to their cottage. (NOTE: During that time, nawala na ang pagkalasing namin.)
When we got there sa cottage nila, her friends were asleep & drunk. (My friends naman were at our own cottage, asleep & drunk too.) She then invited me to take a shower with her but I refused. Instead, I told her that we just better meet again at 9 a.m. And so when I was about to leave to go back to my group's cottage, we kissed again nang matagal like true lovers giving each other a goodbye kiss. (I didn't know that it would be the last one!). I was really happy at that moment knowing that I had a new girlfriend and very beautiful one at that. During that moment I knew she was not drunk anymore, so it made me believe na "kami na talaga."
However, happiness was cut short when we met again. Both of us didn't know what to do, how to react or how we'd approach each other. Our friends even teased us & thought we were already "on." They had an inkling that something happened between us at that night, but the 2 of us just kept quiet about it. But my feelings for her were still the same. I really liked her. I just didn't know if she also felt the same way too.
Later on, when the 2 of us found ourselves alone, I said sorry & I asked her if she still has that feeling for me. She said that I didn't have to be sorry; she had pondered about it and that it was better for us to be friends instead. She further reasoned out that it was only "lust" that she felt that night & nothing more. Although she found me to be "mabait" daw. Of course, I was devastated upon learning about it. But in response, I revealed to her that I still liked her and that I wanted to court her just to show her that I was sincere about my feelings for her kahit may nangyari na sa aming dalawa. She said, bahala daw ako. And I did just that, after we parted on that day. Before we parted, she gave me her cell phone #, pager # and home address, and I also gave her mine.
I first wrote her poems & sent it through her pager and home address but she never responded. And when I got tired of it, I tried to call her up by the phone but unfortunately she was always out (Ang mahal pa naman ng cellphone call!) After many failed trials of phone calls, that was the time I realized na siguro pinagtataguan na niya ako.
Dr. Holmes, up to now I still can't forget her. She's always on my mind. The only thing I haven't tried is to go to her house. I think I'm crazy about her and I want to win her back. It's even making me lose my concentration on my review for my forthcoming board exam.
SEEKER
Dear SEEKER:Thank you very much for your letter. I will publish and answer your questions in my next column since there just isn’t enough space to do it now, okay? In the meantime, hang in there!
All the best!
MG Holmes
(BodyMind Vol. 3 No. 2 - First posted: 3-7-99)
