The Top 16 Little-Known Oscar Nominations 

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7> Best Performance by a Frosty Bobbing Cadaver

    -- Colin Winthorpe, "Titanic" 

6> Best Occupation for Your Character When Playing Opposite a

    Babe -- Leonardo DiCaprio's nude sketch artist, "Titanic"

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2> Vocal Performance from a Movie Soundtrack That Most Makes

    One Envious of Those Who Drowned in the Film Because They

    Never Had to Hear This Overdramatic Crap Over and Over

    -- Celine Dion, "Titanic"

The Top 16 Modern Day Cruel and Unusual Punishments 

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9> Drink a sixer and some coffee, then try to make it through

    "Titanic" without a restroom break 

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7> Front-Row Seats at Celine Dion's "Tribute to Michael Bolton"

    concert 

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