Sheep Questions & Answers Gary Larson - Sheep cartoons Monty Python - "Flying Sheep" Good Sheep,
a trial against a man who fornicated a sheep. The Wild and Wooly West...,
where cowboys relief their itch. Science Jokes with Sheep. Lucky Lamb,
a golfing man and a luck bringing lamb. Dumb Sheep,
two dumb sheep in a hole. The Sheep Survey. Desert Island,
a joke about a man trapped on a desert island with dog and sheep. Sheep vs. Women,
the advantages of sheep.| LinkExchange Member | Free Home Pages at GeoCities |
| Sheep Questions & Answers |
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| Q: How do farmers find their sheep in long grass? A: Very satisfying. contributed by Halstead of S. Africa |
| Q: What do you call 4 sheep tied to a lamppost? A: A leisure center. contributed by Gaz Tibernious Wildebeeste |
| Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear zippers. |
| Q: When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? |
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Q: What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman? A: Mick Jagger says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The Scotsman says, "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!" contributed by SubHuman, Square Root, and others |
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Q: How do you get a sheep to push harder? A: Face it toward a cliff. |
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Q: Why do the horses run so fast in New Zealand? A: Because they know what's done to the sheep! contributed by ImAcUlAtE CoNcEpT of Australia. |
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Q: Did you hear about the shepherd who committed suicide? A: He heard the song, "There'll Never Be Another Ewe." |
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Q: Did you know that they've just discovered two new uses for sheep? A: Meat and wool. |
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Q: What is the smallest organ in a sheep? A: A shepherd's tallywhacker. contributed by Frank Hicks |
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Q: What's the difference between a sheep and a Yugo? A: It's marginally less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back of a sheep. Q: Where does virgin wool come from? A: Ugly sheep! contributed by Baldrick 2 Dogs |
An Eastern newspaper correspondent had just arrived in an old Western town when he noticed a curious lack of women. Walking into the local saloon he asked a local, "What do you fellas do around here for entertainment?"
"Ya mean women?" asked the local yokel. "We ain't got none. 'Round here folks fuck sheep."
"That's disgusting," cried the correspondent, "I've never heard of such moral degredation."
However, after a few months, the correspondent's rocks were beginning to ache and the sheep were looking more and more attractive. So he finally went out and found himself a comely sheep, brought her back to his room, shampooed her and then tied ribbons in her hair. After a bottle of champagne, he lured the sheep into his bedchamber and released his pent-up frustrations.
Afterward, he escorted his four-legged lover to the saloon for a drink. As the correspondent and his wooly mate entered, a hush fell over the patrons and the anxious couple became the object of many stares.
"You goddamn bunch of hypocrites!" the reporter yelled. "You've been fucking sheep for years, but when I do it up right you look at me like I'm some sort of crazy pervert!"
One cowboy in the back of the crowd spoke up, "Yeah, but that's the sheriff's gal!"
There was once a university researcher who specialised in exploring modern myths and fables. One year, in the course of her research she was expected to investigate the real prevalence of sheep shagging. Now of course, we all know that supposedly rural farmers are all starved of sex and so have to indulge in the occasional animal liason, but just how prevalent was this trend?
Our intrepid researcher set off to find out. As she went along to the first farm, she was understandably a little embarased about what she was going to have to ask the farmer there. She met him and started to chat to him about the weather, crops and suchlike. Eventually, she got her nerve together and asked: "Pardon me asking, but....have you ever shagged your sheep?"
"Arrr. I have." Was the dreaded answer.
"Err..., so how do you go about it exactly?"
"Well, it be easy really. Front legs over a gate, hold the hind legs and you're away really."
The researcher quickly made her excuses and left. She felt sure this was an isolated incident. But as she travelled around the shhep farms of the UK, she repeatedly got the answer: "Front legs over a gate, hold the hind legs and you're away."
As she was reaching the end of her study, a shocking 62% of farmers had given this answer. It was obviously a much more prevalent custom than she had previously realised. At one of the last farms she visited, she asked the dreaded question after the usual smalltalk.
"Pardon me asking, but....have you ever shagged your sheep?"
"Arrr. I have." Was the usual answer.
"So how do you go about it exactly?" (She was more confident of asking by now).
"Well, it be easy really. Front legs over your shoulders, hold the hind legs and you're away."
"Hang on a minute, all the other farmers I have spoken to have said front legs over a gate!"
"What! No kissing?"