Cast: Dilip Kumar, Rekha, Mamta Kulkarni & Mukul Dev
| Direction: Umesh Mehra
| Rating: * * | |
| In neither Zanzibar nor an Indian zilla could you quake into such a quagmire of a Qila. Here, every little thingy is as improbable as an edible iron khilla. What a fright, you feel nailed all right. Scared stiff in your seat, you even wonder whatever prompted director Umesh Mehra to attempt an absolute archaic, addle-headed, absurd and anaemic adventure such as this? Hiss. Practically every element from the cardboard sets (including some of the tackiest tulips-'n'-daffodils drawing room curtains ever to shade the silver screen), the outdoor locations leap-frogging from Rajasthan and Khandala to dingy studios, the flat-as-a-pancake cinematography and the sound effects ranging from the loud to the louder, all add up to a taxing three hours of delirium in an auditorium. Written (ha!) by Humayun Mirza, the plot-pourri revolves around what seems like a population explosion of stereotyped characters. Judge Adorable Amarnath (Dilip Kumar), in his sharply cut suits and pocket hankies is extra-nice. His twin brother, Jazzy Jaggannath, in his brocade robes and a black ping-pong ball glued to his cheek, is extra-bad. Sad. Not surprisingly, one dark night Brocade bhaiyya is shot dead in cold blood. Get set, then, for a furious flood. Indeed, everyone is suspected of the foul deed motivated either by vendetta or plain greed. Yaargh. The judge could have done it. Other usual suspects: Bhai Brocade's long-suffering wife and screaming son (Dishevelled Dev. Or the killer could well be Yumrao Jaan (Rekha), who was oh-migosh ravaged in an unintentionally howlarious rape scene. Or it could be Jaan's unshaven brother, who has gone 200 per cent crackers. Not to forget a certain deadly Miss Daniel and her feverish-eyed fella (played by Smoking Chimney). Heavens! Even Agatha Christie would have suffered from a hellish headache trying to solve this whogunit. An uneasy cross between a family bananarama and a suspense yawn. The outcome subjects you to some of the most incredible court scenes (the judicial pronouncements have to be heard to be disbelieved), endless body combats inspired by the Jackie Chan flicks, and a mandatory mambo in the Mysore gardens performed by Mamta Kulkarni showing off designer goggles darker than your mood. SO why did you stray into this sorry spectacle anyway? To check out Dilip Kumar, of course. As the baddy bhaiyya, he doesn't have much to do except to drum out a weird Anand Raj Anand beat by using a brass goblet as a mini-tabla. In fact, you sorely miss the dexterity the thespian displayed on the sitar in the infinitely more memorable Madhuban mein Radha naache re musical moment in Kohinoor (1960). As the yo-so-goody Judge, Dilip Kumar seems to be on a trip of his own. His Urdu pronunciation is impeccable, his dialogue delivery is still superb. But, pray, why employ flowery words which are more likely to zip over the heads of today's young audience? Politely put, Mr Dilip Kumar seems to be totally out of sync with the times. A pity. On the other hand Rekha, despite her abbreviated role, is first-rate; technically bang-on, emotively expressive and classy. As the resident palace mum, Smita Jayakar is impressively confident. For the rest of the way, though, a visit to this Dhilla Qila is as avoidable as an empty museum. |
